8.1 - eight won, ate one
And once again, I have no one to talk to but myself.
I can't hold this stuff in anymore.
I did not, will not, and am not asking you to read this. Not many people even know this exists. If you're here, reading this now, it's because -YOU- wanted to be.
12:34p - 8.1
beetles, bluebirds, (straw)'berries, & (yellow) butterflies...
I have seen the signs. I will have Faith.
I will tread lightfully, carefully, respectfully, mindfully, sacredly.
Every step a choice. Every breath.
12:39p -- I will finish researching the symbolism of yellow butterflies, specifically a yellow butterfly that looks nearly identical to a monarch butterfly save being yellow instead of orange, and then I will make my decision as to whether or not to include more information about this subject in this entry...
12:41p
Paltry attempts at zazen after slowly being forced to wake. Only sat half-lotus, kept fidgeting and never really got into it... Had to get up to begin journaling...
I had a dream last night... I don't dream very much any more...
I know a lot more happened, and I know that it's totally "normal" to lose dreams upon waking, but it's not normal to me and I have trouble accepting not being able to remember every single detail with absolute clarity.
Moving forward...
What I can recall is a group of people in some social setting and at some point they became enamored with the discovery of a "gate"/"portal" type thing...
DBS SPOILERS/"THEORIES" -- Computer froze after typing that.... Mayhaps I shan't include them? -- Whether or not to include the origins of the Kai-O and Kaioshin and the implications they have on our world and our/my relationship with Nihon-jin, the Japanese... -- For now, I will say this... and if one of the pairs of eyes on this is who I think they are, this may be enough for them to go on without drawing others into the crossfire, something I've been admittedly woefully inept at as of late, -- "Core People." -- o.O
FOOD = SEX
SEX = FOOD
Which is more important to you? Overall? Why? Do you understand the implications behind your preference? Even if it is one by default or technicality?
God/Father spoke to me through/with Lightning last night... -- I wish I could share more, but I may've already said too much... - Suffice it to say that I have finally come to terms that there are no such things as "Vish-Powers". It has always been and will always be Acting In Accordance With Divine Will. On this plane, in this form, I must not fully divorce myself from Ego, but rather mindfully choose its expression and how/when to best separate myself from it.
I can Hear His Voice... I can See His Hands...
I am Listening, I am Watching...
I must uncloud my heart of distrust for 人類 (Jin-rui), Humanity, & Myself...
I must stop doubting myself...
I must Look Deeper To The Core...
Naturally the group congregated on me and informed me of/invited me to "The Gate." - At the precise moment before crossing the threshold I got an uneasy feeling and hesitated, at -the- moment of crossing the threshold, my awareness raced ahead of me and forecast events that had not yet come to be...
I stepped past the blackness and whooshed forward, lurched, nauseatingly to down and then up and then straight forward again, like a nose-dive in a plane meant to simulate zero-g for ~30 seconds...
The group on the other side was unaware of what I was rapidly becoming painfully aware of and as such I had mere seconds to act.
When my feet materialized underneath me, I found myself experiencing time both at normal speed in the present and vastly slowed down yet "shadowing" the present...
They were beginning to gather on me once again to inform me of what they'd seen so far, but I knew already, I knew much more than I had time to convey adequately....
In their experience it was ancient ruins of an ancient civilization similar to the one hinted at in Prometheus/Aliens... From their perspective the place had been LONG abandoned and was ancient and undisturbed for untold eons lost in time to recorded history, events and places from so long ago they can be said to be mere myth and to have never actually happened, while I "saw" and "felt" this I also felt the terrible lingering Ki of monstrous entities having "just left."
Perception of linear time was speeding back up in their perception and mine and my face was beginning to communicate the thoughts underneath it, faster than I had words to corral... Their faces said in return "What could you possibly be worried about? No one or thing has been here in ages, we are alone." -- I did not have time to explain that they were "just here." And that one or more, or some form of remnant may remain... As local perception of time snapped back into place the momentum carried to and through...
In the few moments that they were able to utter audible language to me and gesticulate their hands to further communicate, it drowned out as meaningless white noise and I felt a monstrous inertia pushing behind me... Propelling me forward...
In an instant I was flung forward...
1:13p - Finally put my glasses on
Physics felt "off" but I instinctively knew this to be a trick of perception and not the actual case, the speeding up and slowing down of time created a space-time fabric ripple/wave of which I was now surfing on in "real time" still according to the physical "law" that governs matter here in the 3rd dimension...
I did my best to remain calm and understand the situation as it was unfolding in real time, a specialty of mine, I'd say, heh, but at times even I am overwhelmed/impressed by myself and ability...
I knew what I had to do...
Before the vibrations from their larynxes could crash ashore into my eardrums I was nearly perpendicular (and coming in hot!) to the wall facing the gate. A wall lined with huge ancient statues...
As inaudible confusion assaulted my senses in the form of imperceptible language, I was too busy focusing on a statue on the far right that had come alive and began centering its awareness on yours truly, seemingly in an aggressive manner...
While comical, I can best describe the statue as a genderswapped Mother Mary, yes, get this, DJing.... Looking to be in front of what appeared to be... well.. ancient turn tables, both the statue and equipment began de-solidifying and moving as if holding a consciousness within...
The statue/entity/creature seemed simultaneously excited and frightened by me, and, I think I detected, disappointed by its own relative lack of relative speed...
1:22p
It would appear that it seemed self-aware that it "didn't wake up in time" or "wake up fast enough."
Still riding The Wave (Brain just screamed THE SILVER SURFER) I did a flip turn, like a swimmer, off of the wall and rebounded toward the gate and group, I had about 3 or 4 with me, but in this state of speed the properties of physics made the group feel as light (and DELICATE) as paper... I did my best to gather them without ripping or tearing them -- Stand atop a car on the highway going over 100mph and try holding on to 4 lifesize cardboard cutouts in the shape of a human body!!! -- and as the hand of the statue was grasping at my heel we punched back through to the other side... Everyone seemingly intact and no one worse for wear...
1:26p
"What happened?" They asked in various forms repeated in tandem...
I was deciding whether or not to relate the entirety of the experience and how before I found myself unpleasantly returning to the surface of my body here in reality.... The details of the events preceding the Gate quickly dissolving in the recesses of the near-infinite caverns of my mind....
1:28p
Amid pushing the recent events of reality from my mind and trying to either get back to sleep/dreaming or wake up and go for a walk to start my day, I found myself understanding the details of how Hit came to be in possession of Goku's body....
Something I was all too excited to relay here, but that circumstance bade me hold on to... for now...
1:30p
Hungry...
Trying to decide between a shower or a snack before getting dressed and going for a walk...
I've been a good boy thus far not breaking into my treats that I've been saving for after the walk...
An energy drink... NOS black&yellow, some new-fangled gummies, cubes with liquid inside, and a cigarette.
As of today, as far as I know, and as far as I care and am concerned, PA just steeply raised the taxes on cigarettes to be about $10 a pack. Wisely (or not!) I purchased a pack beforehand and promised myself that I would not smoke until after I'd completed my walk...
A feat that is proving frustratingly difficult....
I must focus on the fact that if I indulge now, I will rob myself of the energy/desire to walk... An unfortunate fact that I've faced myself with more than a few times in the past that I am no longer in denial of... -- I keep telling myself a smoke break or pre-smoke is okay (Addict talk!) but I know better. From experience.
YOU WANT THAT CIGARETTE AND THAT SUGAR/CAFFEINE, YOU STUPID ADDICT BODY?! THEN OFF YOUR ASS AND GET YOUR 4 MILES IN UNDER AN HOUR IN.
1:35p
I think if I were to eat it would anchor me down, so I'm thinking the best course of action would be to shower and get dressed ASAP and get out the door before finding myself glued to the bed or couch, likely for the rest of the day...
1:40p
I'm going to review the information I desire to include... -- Upon review, I will not include it in this particular entry.
1:51p
Researching a Sisyphus synchronicity ATM... -- The name by itself in an entry from over a week ago and a memory of seeing a picture and/or downloading last night or the night prior.... Attempting to sew the two experiences together, and hopefully with meaning, at the present...
1:53p
1:55p 7.31 - 12:27p - now looking through history... and spontaneously deciding to draft an entry of all berserk pix and such...
2:11p Berserk pix/entry posted... Leaving natural order of pix alone for now..
Found it! http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2014/05/the-best-way-to-type-__/371351/
PERFECT!! HAHA! YES!!!
2:16p - I won't tag the raw entry yet... Still gotta quit procrastinating and get myself up and at 'em and out the door!
2:22p STRAWBERRIES!! -- That should hold me over for a bit!
Spacing my "raw" entry...
2:42p published...
2:48p craving(s) pretty strong... Drinking a mason jar's worth of water and then hopping in the shower!
2:55p -- A little shook... I just noticed that Abbey took ALL of her clothes... from the closets... She didn't leave a single hanging garment... if she ever plans/planned on coming back why didn't she leave at least a few things...
I'm so scared and so worried... I want to trust... I want to have Faith... but I am consumed by doubt... Help me, Lord. Help me know Your Heart and Your Will... Replace Mine with Yours... Amen.
2:57p Fighting the urge for a cig. Fighting the urge to go through her drawers....
I MUST NOT DOUBT. I MUST HAVE FAITH.
2:58p
2:59p *Phew* You really had me going there!
3:01p OH SO YOU GOT JOKES, DAD. BOY DO YOU GOT A FUCKED UP SENSE OF HUMOR. DARK, SOME WOULD SAY. YOY.
3:03p -- OH FUCK. YOU ARE HILARIOUS. I HAVEN'T LAUGHED LIKE THAT/THIS IN A LONG/LONG TIME. YOU REALLY DO KNOW MY SENSE OF HUMOR.
HUMOR IS MY TRUE SELF.
COMEDY IS MY TRUE SELF.
NOTHING ELSE MATTERS OTHER THAN BEING FUNNY AND MAKING PEOPLE LAUGH.
However, my burgeoning little Comic Comedian, don't forget that one must set up the punch line in order for it to really hit... SERIOUS true devoted comedy requires occasional periods of being deadly serious...
3:05p...... oh. i understand now.....
3:09p
God is here with me now, always...
Shower time.
3:26p So fresh and so clean clean!
I still can't find my comb.... I really hope it turns up soon...... It's extremely extremely valuable to me...
Alright HellHound! You ready to go for a walk?!
Huh?!
You wanna go for a walk?!
Do ya? Do ya? Do ya do ya do ya?!??!
Let's go buddy!
Gimme 4 miles and I'll give you gummies, an energy drink and a cigarette or two!
Come on boy! Let's go!
3:36p dressing...
3:42 - reality is God Playing Dumb
weakness is intelligent, it has to be...
strength is dumb, it can afford to be....
No boy, I will not grab the cigs before we leave. You can't be trusted. You've proven that already.
Get our body out to Coffee Tree and back before 5 and you can have all your treats then...
You know what else, buddy?! The sooner you get us back, the sooner you get your treats!
3:44p
What are you waiting for?! Time's a-wastin'! Let's go!
5:02p
*sonic voice* YOU'RE TOO SLOOOW.
Now for my treats! Good boy!
3 pairs o cheex, 3 maxi dress bend-over/touchies, 3 cross the street to pass near me's,
walking. taco. sedentary.
walking flower. dancing petal. running roots.
BUT MORE ON THAT AFTER TREATS.
5:21p
Hey thanks, door, I was planning on taking that shoe off once I got inside anyway. What a nice and helpful guy you are. Wow. Such assist. Much nice. So help.
Sweet Victory!
Victory is sweet even deep in the cheap seats...
5:22p
Having a somewhat difficult time resisting splashing my face with water and/or washing my hands... I have to keep repeating to myself that if I don't get started somewhere, I won't start. I have to draw the line. I have to break the cycle. If I give in to splashing my face and/or washing my hands now I can pretty much guarantee that I'll lock myself into needing to do so every time I finish strenuous activity and/or sweat. TRAINING. I'll never escape this cycle unless I let my flesh rebuild its natural flora and fauna and return to equilibrium.
5:24p
I keep getting kicked out of the Misery Loves Company Club for being too happy... Which then makes me miserable... Which then gets me invited back to the Club.... It's Vish's Cycle.
5:28p
I think I really enjoy walking because it's simultaneously voluntary and semi-involuntary and you are free to oscillate between both modes. You can either really watch your form and stride and rigidly maintain your posture whilst regulating your breathing, or you can do whatever it takes to put one foot in front of the other sucking wind and gaining ground. I love that.
I was pretty good right up until the end of the boulevard when I started getting real thirsty, but other than that I was planning on getting home and remarking on how surprised I was that after basically being nearly completely sedentary for nearly 4 years that walking was still relatively easy. That was the case for the first 2 miles. At pretty much exactly the halfway point I became drenched in sweat out of nowhere and the good feeling that was pervasive throughout the first 2 miles almost vanished completely, threatening a pre-headache.
5:32p I want to want cannabis. Is that weird? I'm surprised I don't have a craving for cannabis. And yet, here I am, remarking on it, perhaps I subconsciously do? I nunno... Anyhoo...
5:33p
The hardest part of the initial 2 miles was walking past the delicious smells of Las Palmas' Taqueria... TRAINING.
5:36p
I've realized something. Something crucial. Something women and females don't want you to know.
Male/Female
Man/Woman
Male/Man
Female/Woman
Male/Woman
Female/Man
Not all Men are Male. Not all Women are Female.
Women/females, in general, are rapists.
Rape Lite. -- Now with 99% less Physical Assault!
Cleavage, skirts, heels, they're always flashing you and exposing themselves to you and then blaming -you- for looking and desiring. What. The. Fuck. What in the actual fuck?
The Patriarchy is The Matriarchy in disguise.
The current state of the world is them tricking you into voluntarily and openly putting them into power. Yeah fuckin' right!
This entire campaign of feminism is gas-lighting and misdirection.
In no particular order I was "accosted" and "street-harassed" nearly 10 times today. An unfortunate fact that revealed to me I've been silently enduring such treatment my entire life. Not so silently at times, but never fully lucidly as I am now. My eyes are open.
They accuse men of all the behaviors/attributes they themselves are decently hiding. Bitch shit. Pussy shit. "Ninja" shit. Shinobi shit. Cat shit.
Women/Females are fucking stupid rapist cats. -- "Oh you don't wanna touch me? Oh you're completely ignoring me? We'll see about that!" - "Oh you're staring at me? Oh you wanna touch me? You can fuckin' forget about it, buddy! You ain't good enough!"
OKAY, CAT. WHATEVER. NO ONE FUCKING LIKES YOU. GO AWAY. NO ONE FUCKING CARES.
I had 3 separate women all flash me their buttcheex in "shorts" that can only be described as panties, not even bathing suits... -- While I'm not complaining outright per se, I just think it's funny when they wonder why they get so much sexual attention, A DOY. -- The one girl had to have been near teenage because while she was eye-fucking the ever living shit out of me, her poor little thin-framed baby-faced fuckboy was frantically looking for not too obvious ways to stand behind her bottom and shield me from seeing it. Poor guy. He deserves better. Stupid fucking whore. Selfish fucking slut.
Next, I had 3 separate women all cross the street AFTER I'd already crossed so that we didn't have to walk by each other, and try to walk as closely past me as possible. Vish Life. I go on the other side of the street so as not seem predatory or intimidating and they follow me to be like "oh no! you pervin on this whether or not you want to! you gon' look at me and you gon' like it" They weren't even coy or shy or slick about trying their damndest to actually physically brush past me after blatantly crossing the street to do so. What is life.
BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE. Next I had 3 more separate women, all in maxi-dresses with either a thong or nothing underneath, (all pretty fuckin' smokin' hot, honestly -- like really dece asses on all 3) all act in the following similar fashion.
>They see me coming
>They try (keyword: try!) to act natural and aloof
>They look for an excuse to face their butt toward me
>They decide "looking for something in the car" and bending over is undetectable and subtle enough
>They blatantly bend over to show me EVERYTHING
>-JUST- as I'm passing they all quickly stand up and nearly "accidentally" bump their bumbums into my hands
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.
Next time this shit happens, I'm just gonna stand there, crotch triumphantly thrust forward and palms upwards ready to squeeze cheex.
I dodged all three of them (My Mama raised me right!) much to their decently veiled chagrin...
But I know exactly what would happened afterward if I hadn't dodged them and wasn't as aware as I am
*bonk*
Me: "Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to--"
Whore X: "It's okay hon, I didn't see you there, teehee -- [goes on to bullshit engage me somehow and selfishly rob me of my precious time]"
Yeah fuckin' right, bitch. You did not get up early enough.
No more Mr. Nice Guy, though. I'm fuckin' with the next fuckin' slut that tries this underhanded shit with me. I'm coppin' a free feel AND calling her out on her bullshit and then skipping along my own merry way.
Do you know why slut-shaming (≠ promiscuity-shaming) is okay? BECAUSE IT EFFECTS OTHER PEOPLE. IT SPREADS DISEASE, YOU NASTY ROTTING CUNT. SORRY YOU DIDN'T RESPECT YOURSELF ENOUGH TO HOLD OUT FOR THE ONE YOU LOVE AND NOW YOUR GUILT-RIDDEN SELF-HATING ASS IS DOING ITS BEST TO SPREAD ITS DISEASE AND TAKE EVERYONE DOWN WITH EM. FUCK THAT. GO THE FUCK OVER THERE.
The same reason fat-shaming is (mostly) okay. IT EFFECTS OTHER people. Big is not beautiful. It's fucking disgusting. You look like the fat pig that you are in your soul. Sucking up all the resources and starving those around you. Everyone has an inherent disgust at excess adipose tissue. Ever wonder why that is? It's fucking biological. You look like the greedy mindless piece of shit that you actually are. No wonder we hate you! -- There are always exceptions to the rule, hormone imbalances and such but those are rare, very rare. The majority of fat people are fat because they are greedy and dumb. End of story.
Slut ≠ Promiscuous.
Promiscuous means having many sexual partners, and also carries the connotation of mindfully doing so and on purpose.
Slut carries the connotation of sleeping around mindlessly with everything you can fuck. (gender-free)
Male or female, sluts = fucking disgusting. LITERALLY. SEE WHAT I DID THERE.
Male or female, promiscuous = not my cup of tea, but also none of my business.
Class dismissed.
5:42p
Fuck all that lurking in the shadows garbage you fucking pussies. Come right out into the open and announce yourself to your opponent. Like a samurai! Like a bushi! Like a male! LIKE A MAN.
"A man will punch you in the face, but a woman will stab you in the back."
Pathetic! Weak!
5:44p
辛抱
Serendipitously discovered that looking for something else.
ゲームキューブ
ゲーム
キューブ
I'm eatin' little gummy cubes here in a bit and anticipating opening the bag has my brain repeating "Kyubu" from when it heard it in dragon ball super.
In fact, I'm gonna go grab my folder and write it a few times. Just, ya know, for funsies.
5:47p
And now my brain keeps repeating that whistle from like naval ships/star ships. Gonna look up what that's called...
5:53p
Gotta wonder why there's not a google for noises/sounds yet.... I just wanna whistle at the computer and have it know what I'm referring to...
5:59p
閃電煞星
Now I wanna learn all the lyrics/notes to edelweiss
6:05p - Mechanic: Ressurected
Still Questing For Home.
On A Quest To Find Home...
6:08p
I found my home. My Home. It's Abbey. -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNZgUM542VI
The Dark Rose
I've made my stand. I've made my choice. I'm not backing down. I'm not giving up. I've come too far. We've come too far. I can't give up. I don't know how. I never give up. NEVER GIVE UP.
6:10p
6:16p
Mechanic: Resurrection
YOU'RE ALL I GET, ABBEY. IT'S YOU OR NO ONE. NO ONE ELSE.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANbkNhU4VSY
You always hurt the one you love
The one you shouldn't hurt at all
You always take the sweetest rose
And crush it till the petals fall
You always brea-eak the kindest hear-eart
With a hasty word you can't recall, so
If I broke your heart la-ast night
It's because I love you most of all
You always hurt the one you lo-ove
The one you shouldn't hurt at all
You always take the sweetest ro-ose
And crush it till the petals fa-all
You always break the kindest heart
With a hasty word you can't recall
So-o if I broke your heart last night
It's because I love you mo-ost of a-all
You always hurt the one you love
The one you shouldn't hurt at all
You always take the sweetest rose
Crush it, ti-ill the petals fall
You always brea-eak the kindest heart
With a hasty word you can't recall, so
If I broke your heart last night
It's because I love you most of all...
6:17p
6:26p Trolli Sour Brite Blasts - JUICY EXPLODING CUBES.
Pretty dece, pretty squishy... I was hoping for a somewhat firmer chewier texture... These are quite soft and gooey.... I'll have a few more and then pop 'em in da free-ajj
6:27p
I'll be seeing you
In all the old familiar places
That this heart of mine embraces
All day through
In that small cafe
The park across the way
The children's carousel
The chestnut trees, the wishing well
I'll be seeing you
In every lovely summers day
In everything that's light and gay
I'll always think of you that way
I'll find you in the morning sun
And when the night is new
I'll be looking at the moon
But I'll seeing you.
6:28p --
I'll Be Seeing You...
6:34p
Heatin' up a Souper Meal. *Heavy Sigh*
6:52p
One way or another, I just opened the last pack of cigarettes that I will purchase in 2016. 2017 and beyond? We'll see. I have to make it to 2017 tobacco-free, first. So, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
6:53p
19 Camel Turkish Royal cigarettes remaining...
7:02p
Boatswain's call - Bosun's Whistle - low/high/low
7:05p
Edelweiss Edelweiss
Every morning you greet me
Small and white
Clean and bright
You look happy to meet me
Blossom of snow may you bloom and grow
Bloom and grow forever
Edelweiss Edelweiss
Bless my homeland forever
7:13p
Eatin' soup and watch George Carlin's bit on Fat People...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLRQvK2-iqQ
7:15p
Come with me
And you'll be
In a world of pure imagination
Take a look
And you'll see
Into your imagination
We'll begin
With a spin
Traveling in
The world of my creation
What we'll see
Will defy
Explanation
If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Want to change the world?
There's nothing to it
There is no
Life I know
To compare with pure imagination
Living there
You'll be free
If you truly wish to be
If you want to see magic lands
Close your eyes and you will see one
Want to be a dreamer, be one
Anytime you please and please save me one
Come with me
And you'll be
In a world of pure imagination
Take a look
And you'll see
Into your imagination
There is no
Place to go
To compare with your imagination
So go there
To be free
If you truly wish to be
Living there
You'll be free
If you truly wish to be
7:17p
7:27p
Two really weird synchronicities...
A maleXmale couple on Tumblr with one of the males displaying "Home" on his knuckles/fingers and clearly being the more aggressive of the pair....
And then scrolling further I see a pic that says "my life as a teenage robot." During my walk earlier I was likening robots to teenagers and vice versa
it's raining super super hard, time to rip off all my clothes and go run in it!
7:54p
I find no small coincidence in the fact that it started raining like this after I started typing angrily and hatefully. Duly noted.
7:56p
INVIGORATING
8:06p
8:13p
This flower signifies deep love and devotion whereby men harvest the flower on daring steeps and fatal climbs to prove love and to show occasions of devotion. It’s synonymous with the alpine terrain, and those of the Alps find it a flower of purity that instills a great sense of patriotism with its meanings. The nations bound to this flower’s symbol includes regions in Austria, Germany and Switzerland. It’s short life span and remote habitation have inspired the folklore of Alps inhabitants to signify the Edelweiss with national prestige. It is Switzerland’s national flower.
The Edelweiss is a flower that means notoriety in its complete essence. It’s prized where it naturally grows and is created to be a symbol by its local region because it’s only obtained by a few when it lies waiting in its natural habitat. It, therefore, captivates the symbolic qualities of adventure and great sacrifice.
There are a collection of medical uses that the Edelweiss flower finds itself useful for. Collectively, the flower is great in mediating the presence of normal aging, abdominal pain, aerophagia, amnesia, Alzheimer’s, allergic reactions and alcoholism alike. Of these, an upset stomach is more commonly remedied with the Edelweiss flower.
Interesting Facts About the Edelweiss Flower
There currently are legal limitations that deny the legal right to pick this flower in most of the regions where it’s now left to grow wild.
The plant is said to have anti-aging proponents.
The popular song, that you likely heard on “Sound of Music” is not a national tune; it was written specifically for the movie.
To prevent its extinction, the Edelweiss has been planted in accessible areas consisting of lower altitudes.
The Edelweiss is a token of love, and it is also the name of a beer maker in Austria.
Special Occasions for Edelweiss Flowers
Should the man be brave and stout, an Edelweiss might be the right flower to profess his love. This flower can be a great symbol of love when daring men take hold of the mountains and elevate there way through dangers of falling and inclement weather.
The lucky women found to be the reason for such an occasion will surely know the honor of the man seeking to impress her. This flower could also have been given to soothe the body of diphtheria or tuberculosis.
When taken as a tea, these ailments are given relief and was a gesture of good faith had it been giving to you during sickness.
The Edelweiss Flower’s Message Is:
A plant that is of honorable qualities, the Edelweiss, which makes its seeker climb and its lover woo. Its nobility is found in its upbringing: rare and where only few can surely get to.
The Edelweiss Flower: Its Meaning & Symbolism
Edelweiss Flowers
This flower signifies deep love and devotion whereby men harvest the flower on daring steeps and fatal climbs to prove love and to show occasions of devotion. It’s synonymous with the alpine terrain, and those of the Alps find it a flower of purity that instills a great sense of patriotism with its meanings. The nations bound to this flower’s symbol includes regions in Austria, Germany and Switzerland. It’s short life span and remote habitation have inspired the folklore of Alps inhabitants to signify the Edelweiss with national prestige. It is Switzerland’s national flower.
What Does the Edelweiss Flower Mean:
The Edelweiss is a flower that means notoriety in its complete essence. It’s prized where it naturally grows and is created to be a symbol by its local region because it’s only obtained by a few when it lies waiting in its natural habitat. It, therefore, captivates the symbolic qualities of adventure and great sacrifice.
Etymological Meaning of the Edelweiss Flower:
When speaking of the etymology of the Edelweiss flower, we’ll inevitably come by the name and meaning of Leontopodium aplinum that is characterized as a German mountain flower and what mountains symbolize. It prefer heights of 1,500 to 3,000 meters on incline. The Edelweiss flower is also a part of the daisy and sunflower family with non-toxic properties in its makeup. This flower has tomentose, a wooly appearance of white hairs, on its leaf and flower structures that creates the flower’s hairy and silvery character. It grows to heights of 16 inches and develops its flower into a double-star formation between the months of July and September. These patterns make it highly recognizable as a birth flower.
8:19p
;)
Edelwiess
8:20p
"He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee."
8:21p
JUST BREATHE
8:22p
18...
8:34p
"...efficient professional compulsive consumers."
8:40p
Reading an e-mail from Abbey...
8:47p
I don't know how to respond...
Opening another notepad to organize my thoughts in text...
I might drink another energy drink... I dunno...
I think if I respond to that e-mail now I'll end up rescinding on being willing/able to give her time to herself.
It's not so much "If you don't have anything nice to say..." It's more about not going back on my word and our agreement about giving her time to herself. -- If you don't have anything HELPFUL to say, then say nothing at all. As such, I cannot, currently, respond.
9:01p
Doing my best to resist temptation...
Trying to stave off drinking another energy drink with smoking a cigarette instead...
9:15p
9:31p still resisting the energy drink. time for a smoke break.
9:32p
Forgot to put my cubes in the fridge... :(
9:50p
Boy am I glad I didn't have that energy drink... It's already feeling like it's going to be difficult to fall asleep tonight....
10:16p
11:10p
Get a load of this!
|Chat started
Greenly Guru
Thanks for visiting! A live person is here to help.
BTW, new members GET 10% OFF + FREE VAPE/EDIBLE/PRE-ROLL.
We offer delivery in Los Angeles ONLY. Based on federal law we are NOT able to ship any products. Please do not ask.
You — Please update your info
Whoa whoa whoa... What malarky is this?
Grenly Guru
Hello! Welcome to Greenly.
We will be right with you.
Your Greenly Guide joined the chat
Your Greenly Guide
California:)
Unfortunately, we are a local delivery service for the LA area/Westside only
You — Please update your info
OK. Why is that unfortunate?
Your Greenly Guide
unforunate that we cannot legally ship out of state.
Your location says PA
You — Please update your info
Ah yes. Indeed.
I am in PA. That's crazy/trippy/creepy that you know that! How do you know that?! Haha. -- What technological marvel gave you access to such information. I shut my location off of.... Oh... My IP address probably. *facepalm*
Uh, so, you are really a person? Not a bot?
Your Greenly Guide
Real indeed!
You — Please update your info
Shit. Well. Um. Sorry? This is kinda blowin' my mind. I, uh, didn't expect this. Again, it's sorta trippy. -- Do you have exchanges like this often? --- Are you paid to perform this service? Am I eating up too much of your time asking questions or is this like any other job where it's fuckin' cool and a nice break to find a chill customer?
Chat started
Grenly Guru
Hello! Welcome to Greenly.
We will be right with you.
You — Please update your info
I can't wait for PA to catch on and for this service to be available here. It's like I'm chatting with the future!
Your Greenly Guide joined the chat
Your Greenly Guide
Haha soon enough hopefully!
You — Please update your info
Alright then, person. Futureperson, I should say, gotta get back to the dark ages of no legal cannabis here in PA and let you get back to your amazing future life with frickin' medibles available for delivery online. Ridiculous. What a tease! Peace! Have a great night!
Your Greenly Guide
:)
You too!|
So frickin' trippy!
11:18p
Silver Surfer synchronicity...
This tumblr is about as close as it gets to perfection next to mine. I am impressed, I am in awe.
11:20 I've genuinely said "Whoa" outloud like a dozen times now, this is almost too much to handle! Now at least I know why my tumblr isn't more popular. THEY AIN'T READY.
Silver Surfer synchronicity keeps intensifying...
11:59p I am so content to be distracted by this tumblr right now...
12:02a
ALIEN VS. PREDATOR. OH. I GET IT NOW.
"Alien" Vs. "Predator"!!!
12:04a
I have to stop myself at January or I never will!
12:15a
Okay. I concede. I am past the point of being in denial about being overwhelmed. This is the best Tumblr I have ever seen in my life. Nearly equal to my own. I am -officially- beyond overwhelmed.
12:49a
Gettin' some protein down the hatch so I sleep well and remain both thermogenic and anabolic.
I want to chill my balls off tomorrow and hit it hard again on wednesday. I wanna get back into fitness. I -AM- getting back into fitness.
12:50a
I need a more cheerful wallpaper... My current one is depressing... I'd chosen that specifically and on purpose, but I'm past that now. I think.
12:51a
1:08a
Unleashed some anger in a draft. Feeling focused, but not tired, unfortunately.
Gonna try to wind down here in a bit...
Shoulda started sooner...
Ooo! Maybe nude zazen before bed, too!
1:10a
1:41a
During the 1980s and early 1990s, Schwarzenegger appeared in many cup noodle and energy drink ads. Known as "Schwa-chan," his catchphrase was "daijou-V," a wordplay on "daijoubu" ("okay" in Japanese) and the "V" in energy drink he was selling, Alinamin V.
THAT LOOKS CURIOUSLY LIKE VITAMIN V.
SO JAPAN IS LITERALLY 20 TO 30 YEARS AHEAD OF ME IN THE FUTURE.
I'd seen his Japanese commercials before, but I'd never really noticed the V or "alinamin" until studying the language and having friends refer to me as Vitamin V. What a lovely little overlap. Does my heart well.
Alinamin V (アリナミンV)
Uuuuh... Looking up the drink rendered some videos and screencaps, one of which that looks to say something along the lines of Majin V something....
Fully translating now...
Real weird guy hours. Yo if you up contemplate what that Like button is and if you were to press it WHO REALLY would be pressing it.
魔人 - majin - demon - magic man
魔人V、未日。
2a
Nothing good ever happens after 2AM they say... I think it's time to go to bed...
愛の人、魔人V。
WEIRD.
very weird.
wary veered.
BUI.
THEY PRONOUNCE V: 'BUI' -- (ブイ)
ブイ
大丈夫
2:26a
Trying to speak daijobui got me daijobu i which got me だいじょうぶい
which means NOT OKAY.
As in, this is NOT OKAY. What the fuck am I doing to reality right now??? I really should go to bed....
2:28a
KONBANWA TOMODACHI
こんばんは友達
よし！
大丈夫ブイ
大丈夫v
大丈ブイ
ちちんブイブイ
「魔人Vが行く」
ちちんブイブイ。
僕の名前は、魔人V。
あなたにあげよう。
愛にあふれるVパワー。
ギスギス厳しい世の中だけど、
どっこい、僕がついている、だいじょーブイ。
Vドリンクで、だいじょーブイ。
ちちんぷいぷい
2:48a
「ちちんVV（ブイブイ）」
2:50a
たいじよ一ブイブイ maybe?
3a
One last tumblr scroll and cigarette and then seriously, bed time.
3:14a
DAI-JO-BUI
Meh. I've waited this long. I might as well wait until the morning when I wake up to publish this...
3:28a
3:54a
3:59a
cig
4:20a
こんばんは。本当に。
おはよう？
朝？
おはよう、ですか？
朝、ですか？
5:21a
Still up... can't sleep... can't stop dickin' arahn on 'em innernets...
There was also a scientific explanation for their abhorrence. Director Gaspar Noé added low-frequency background noise to the soundtrack of his revenge thriller. Though such extreme bass waves are inaudible to humans, infrasound "has been demonstrated to induce anxiety, extreme sorrow, heart palpitations and shivering," the BBC reported in 2013. "Naturally-occurring infrasound has been associated with areas of 'supernatural activity' as well as being produced prior to natural disasters such as storms and earthquakes."
"Fear Frequency" you say?
7:02a -- Uh-oh... It's morning.... :/
10:08a --- Why am I still up....
OH YEAH. BECAUSE ABBEY ISN'T HERE.
11a
I should just consider drankin' ern ernergy berverage at this point and rollin' through into the day...
8p
Someone knocked sometime between 12p and ~7:30p...
Not Abbey. Don't care.
I should have known from the start that you were lying.
That's all you ever do.
That's all you've ever done.
That's all you're capable of doing.
That's all anyone does.
That's all anyone ever does.
That's all anyone is capable of doing.
I did know, though, I think. I just did that stupid hope thing again. Idiot. Fucking idiot.
I knew it, you're just softening me up and buttering me up to get what you want. To trick me into compliance.
You never really had any honest intention of getting back together with me and working things out, did you?
You were just stringing me along waiting for the right moment to strike. Setting me up for the big fat kill.
When am I -FINALLY- gonna be able to stop trusting others?
How have I lasted this long?!
Why the fuck couldn't you have just told me the truth, Mom?
Why the fuck did you have to raise me to be honest?
More importantly how could you callously implant the expectation in me to take others at their word?
There is literally no one else on this planet as consistently honest as me.
I'm the sole member of my species.
Veritas Sapiens.
Like any other species that dwindles to one member, I am endangered.
I have no hopes of finding a mate.
There is simply no one else like me, and there likely never will be.
8:10p
8.2
8.2.16
8.11p
I'm going crazy. I know full well that I can do this on my own. I simply do not fucking want to. What's the fucking point?
What's the fucking point of living if you don't have someone to share it with?
8:12p
Leave me alone.
Let me be.
Leave me alone to waste and wither away completely.
Stop teasing me. Stop getting my hopes up.
8:13p
8:15p
Goku, you fucking dolt, when are you gonna get it through your thick stubborn skull that no one else is like you?
No one else, in your plane of existence at least, shares your penchant for forthright honesty.
8.2.16 - 8:16p
It's so fucking hot, I just wish I could fucking sleep...
I just want to sleep.
I just want to sleep forever.
I juuuuust want to sleep for-evverrrr.....
Wake me up, when reality ends...
11:40p
She's either going to come back, or she isn't. It's time to come to terms with that fact and accept it.
11:43p
I'm done pretending that I am okay.
I am not okay.
My facade has slipped...
I am bare...
11:50p
だいじょうぶい
8.3
12:03a
If a Pokémon were holding a pokéball as you through a pokéball at it, or recalled it into a pokéball, would the pokéball go back inside with it?
???
I'm sure in the Pokéverse the tech has a failsafe against such a thing... but if it didn't... What if it didn't? .... O.o
-- Infinite Pokéverse...
Pokéverse......
POCKET UNIVERSE.
12:08a
Proofreading this entry...
12:09a
Closing some more tabs first...
2:37a
I can't keep crying like this. I think I've lost and am losing legitimate pounds of body-weight resulting simply from dehydration due to constant prolonged intense crying.
I am literally melting and dripping out of my eyeballs, my aqua vitae returning to the aether from whence it came...
I don't understand how I can be so numb and yet still in so much pain...
I'm hurting so bad...
I hurt so much...
I just fucking can't take this any more...
I wish I could just be all the way numb and clock out or, honestly, I wish the pain would dominate so I could get angry and channel the energy into fitness and thus channel it into being productive and taking care of myself. But I can't... I just can't.......
I just can't do this anymore...
2:40a
I wanna go home....
2:41a
La recherche de l'absolu
La recherche de absolu
l'absolu
absolu
Ab Sol U
Ab Soul You
Without Soul You
Without Your Soul
Without Sol You
Without Your Sol
Without Your Sun
Without Your Sunshine
2:45a
How can I be expected to live and continue living without My Soul?
How can I be expected to live and continue living without My Sol? My Sun? My Sunshine?
How can I be expected to live and continue living without My Sun?
How can I be expected to live and continue living without My Sunshine?
How can I be expected to live and continue living without My Soul, My Sun, My Sunshine?
PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY SUNSHINE AWAY.
2:47a
2:48a
2:49a
3:42a
Another veil has been lifted.
Hello Frank. ;) Sorry I Josh around so much, I'll try to be more Frank.
Frankincense
Frank-In-[A]Sense
3:43a
Abbey, I really wish you were here with me right now, I really want to talk to you. I have a lot to explain. A lot that should bring peace to both of us. A lot that would let you finally forgive yourself, accept yourself, and love yourself. I understand now.
Heh.
I understand, now.
I understand "now."
3:45a
You Are Love Frank Ocean.
You Are Living Forever Once.
"You Are Luhh"
(originally by The Isley Brothers)
When I feel what I feel
Sometimes it's hard to tell you so
You may not be in the mood to learn
What you think you know
There are times when I find
You wanna keep yourself from me
When I don't have the strength
I'm just a mirror of what I see
But at your best you are love
You're the positive motivating force within my life
If you ever feel the need to wonder why
Let me know, let me know
(Luhh) Let me know
When you feel what you feel
It's hard for me to understand
So many things have taken place before this love affair began
But if you feel more like I feel
Confusion can give way to doubt
For there are times when I fall short of what I say
What I say I'm all about
But at your best you are love
You're the positive motivating force within my life
Should you ever feel the need to wonder why
Let me know, let me know
(Luhh)
Tell me what it is
What it is, no need to make believe
Look beyond your world
Try to find, find a place for me
Cuz when you're at your best you are love
You're the positive motivating force within my life
Should you ever feel the need to wonder why
Let me know, let me know
Stay at your best, baby (oh oh oh)
Let me know, let me know
3:49a
3:57a
Trusting in the plan and the pace! I will see Abbey again when the time is right! Not sooner or later! Believe it! -- I am going to do my best to remain patient, but it's already been so hard so I know it won't be easy.
corolla - the petals of a flower, typically forming a whorl within the sepals and enclosing the reproductive organs.
花冠
The word "Toyoda" uses ten Japanese strokes to write while "Toyota" uses only eight. Eight is considered a lucky number in Japanese culture. For these reasons "Toyota" was chosen as the company's name.
to-yoda
Since toyoda literally means "fertile rice paddies", changing the name also prevented the company from being associated with old-fashioned farming.
トヨダ
トヨタ
The name Suzuki (鈴木 ?) is a common Japanese surname meaning "bell wood", "bell tree" or "bud tree". As of 2008, it is the second most common, after Satō, surname in Japan, with 1.9 million people registered. It is also used for many businesses.
5:13a
Corolla Fielder...
5:21a
unite the seven......
AQUAMAN...
5:35a
Smokin' my second to last cigarette...
When I return inside I'll finish proofreading this entry, take a short scroll through my tumblr posts and then conk out for some much needed, much deserved ZZzZZzZZZZzzzzs....
5:36a
I need to draw a line in advance, so if I end up adding to this I can only do so until 6a then I must draft an entirely new entry. This one is already damn long enough as is!
5:37a
Tuesday, August 2, 2016
Monday, August 1, 2016
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
it's tuesday(7.12), take it easy, big guy...
Yeah, stretch dem rear deltoids out. Feel it out. Feel your body. Move on purpose. Yeah guy.
smokk det pip
'inappropriately enthusiastic guy' (me c. 2012) - "I think I'll have a second cup of tea. I don't give a FUCK.
CRUMPETS AAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL UP IN THIS BITCH!
caving in and nunching crumbers....
sincerity, investment, and thoughtfulness
我刷 (wǒ shuā), meaning "I brush".
1 at a time!
Sisyphus -- [8.1 - 2:12p- EDIT/UPDATE: http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2014/05/the-best-way-to-type-__/371351/]
"Because of its increasing usage in the public forum, in 2005 the word was included for the first time as one of three vulgarities in The Canadian Press's Canadian Press Caps and Spelling guide. Journalists were advised to refrain from censoring the word but use it sparingly and only when its inclusion was essential to the story."
The oldest occurrence of the word in adjectival form (which implies use of the verb) in English comes from the margins of a 1528 manuscript copy of Cicero's De Officiis. A monk had scrawled in the margin notes, "fuckin Abbot". Whether the monk meant the word literally, to accuse this abbott of "questionable monastic morals," or whether he used it "as an intensifier, to convey his extreme dismay" is unclear.
John Florio's 1598 Italian-English dictionary, A Worlde of Wordes, included the term, along with several now-archaic, but then-vulgar synonyms, in this definition:
Fottere: To jape, to sard, to fucke, to swive, to occupy.
Of these, "occupy" and "jape" still survive as verbs, though with less profane meanings, while "sard" was a descendant of the Anglo-Saxon verb seordan (or seorðan, ON serða), to copulate; and "swive" had derived from earlier swīfan, to revolve i.e. to swivel (compare modern-day "screw").
A 1790 poem by George Tucker has a father upset with his bookish son say "I'd not give [a fuck] for all you've read". Originally printed as "I'd not give ------ for all you've read", scholars agree that the words "a fuck" were removed, making the poem the first recorded instance of the now-common phrase "I don't give a fuck".
Farmer and Henley's 1893 dictionary of slang notes both the adverbial and adjectival forms of fuck as similar to but "more violent" than bloody and indicating extreme insult, respectively.
"As a French noun, un baiser means "a kiss", but as a verb, baiser means "to fuck", so Baise-moi means simply "Fuck me". In some markets the film has been screened as "Rape me", but the French for "rape me" is emphatically not "baise-moi," but rather "viole-moi," and so in a 2002 interview Rape Me was rejected by the directors."
razzle dazzle japanese jellyfish crazy naked
"Genghis Khan was pretty devious. One of my favorite tactics he used was lighting extra campfires to make his armies seem much larger than they actually were."
Plastic Flash Atom
"During WWII the British used tons of inflatable tanks and airplanes as decoys, as well as a bunch of wooden ones as well, and painted them to look like tanks, boats, and airplanes from the air. They're brilliant and silly at the same time."
8.1
what do -you- spend money on? sell it.
what time of the day do you wanna work? plan your
ideal day around it. food and activity.
mary wannies healps you breavus
hulps you breavuses mo beterrerer
ebwun no dis
me no dis
you no dis
ebwun
ebby sherngle wern
you just don't fuckin' care anymore, do you?
fuck.
hope. godspeed you black emperor.
U
Yoo
Architect
london
I O U
J G V
ΙΧΘΥΣ -- ☧
"All the manners in the world will not resurrect my dead, nor prevent me from catching lead."
the ref/joker
comic. comedian. the truth.
there are almost 3 billion people connected to the public internet right now; by 2020 the number will approach 4 billion. According to Cisco, by 2020 there will be over 50 billion connected devices in the world. Some people like to call it the "Internet of Things," others call it "Machine 2 Machine" or "M2M." No matter what you call it, these are unimaginably large numbers of people and devices all connected.
So how do you sort it out?
I use three laws to help me understand the rate of change: Moore's Law, the Law of Accelerating Returns, and Metcalfe's Law. Moore's Law is named for Gordon Moore, the co-founder of Intel. He wrote a famous paper back in 1965 where it posited that the density of semiconductors on silicon would double every 18 months.
This was true for a while, but now, because of the Law of Accelerating Returns (which states that the rate of technological change is accelerating exponentially) we know that this doubling of computing power happens much faster than that.
Then there's Metcalfe's Law, which tells us that the value of a network increases proportional to the square of the number of users. If this all sounds too geeky, don't worry -- here's how to think about the remarkable pace of technological change and the huge number of people in simple terms.
1) Technology is changing at a faster and faster pace. In fact, today is the slowest rate of technological change you will ever experience in your life.
2) The more people are connected, the more powerful the network becomes. Connectivity: everything that can be connected, will be connected
If you're not paying for a service with cash, the company is using your data as a currency.
omnisexual connoisseur
In recent years unique strains of bacteria have been discovered that thrive in catacombs, inducing mineral efflorescence and decay. These include Kribbella sancticallisti, Kribbella catacumbae, and three types of non-thermophilic (low-temperature) Rubrobacter.
素の力
もっと力 -- 即身仏
"Arrête, c'est ici l'empire de la mort!" (Stop! This is the empire of death!)
Bruce Lee
John Lennon
Nikola Tesla
Hermes
7.22.2016 -- You must begin. 12:57a, you know what to do. Now do it. Get to it. Time is a-wastin'.
近くセブン "near seven"
mob psycho 100
hercules
deadpool
TAG. YOU'RE "IT".
Do people still get their lighters out at shows/concerts? Back in my day that used to be a thing...
High Performance
I vs. Lucifer -- iLucifer -- I, Lucifer ...
Ahwehota ("He Who Runs Beyond The Wind")
Some villain that channels speed force in an area around him to cancel out speed, like two sounds cancelling, rendering speed useless, and would force Barry or whatever speedster to depend on true combat skills.
Maybe instead of using a speedster, have a metahuman that can control friction or do a better version of the folded man where he's more like a two dimensional being and can fold himself like origami!
Maybe a shapeshifter like beast boy.
地 - ji - Earth
獄 - Goku - Prison
地獄 - Jigoku - Hell
[8.1 - "Gee, Goku!"]
The Zen Master of Speed
Abilities Super speed
Molecular control
Time and dimensional travel
7.24.16 - 6:30p -- Loki/Lucifer will never -fully- be on your side. Never forget that.
postboi
board of investment
bureau of investigation
The strawberry is a berry that is attached to many positive things through symbolism and folklore. The flowers and berries together symbolize righteousness and spiritual merit in Christian art. The structure of the leaves, being trifoliate, represents the trinity.
The Portal between that which is intangible and what we know and see in front of us.
hitch-hiking to happiness
No, Battery, -I'm- the one that's dying.
Abbey Kernick Doesn't Own Vish
AKDOV
Fine. You win. You win, world. You win, reality. Are you happy now?
Because of the thistle seeds it eats, in Christian symbolism the goldfinch is associated with Christ's Passion and his crown of thorns.
hide-n-seek/it tag
"Ditto rearranges its cell structure to transform itself into other shapes. However, if it tries to transform itself into something by relying on its memory, this Pokémon manages to get details wrong."
According to Pokemon resource Bulbapedia, Ditto turns into a rock when it is sleeping.
ピッツバーグ
UPMC has pioneered several world firsts including the first known cystic fibrosis heart-lung transplant (1983), the world's first simultaneous liver and heart transplant operation on a child (6-year-old Stormie Jones in 1984), the youngest heart-lung transplant (9 years old in 1985), the world's first heart-liver-kidney transplant (1989), the world's first heart-liver transplant on an infant (1997), the first pediatric heart-double lung-liver transplant (1998), the nation's first double hand transplant (2009), and the first total forearm and hand transplant (2010), as well as the state's first heart transplant (1968).
Vic Mignogna (Westmoreland)
“ If I don't want to eat it, I will not kill it. If I kill it, I will eat it! That's my rule! ”
VSSH
Very Secret Super Hero
I understand I think.
I think I understand.
Very Intelligent Super Hero
"Old and Wise" by The Alan Parsons Project
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7Es755FQDc
Pleasure of Leisure by Das Opposite Dog
無双
瞑目の彼方
－たったひとりの戦士－
freenet
I can't quit, you fired me!
reality/matter/consciousness/unconsciousness/subconsciousness is going to be -so pissed- that/when we woke/wake it up....
4:20 - 7.31.2016
oh. i get it now. 2020. tokyo. the singularity.
'tetsuoing.' A-KI-RA. AI. -- The Humans are trying to wake up 'God'... Careful what you wish for.... It's not what you expect/think...
"good vibrations" playing louder and louder, more and more forcefully... threatening to overwhelm... to engulf.... to consume...
(I believe this to be from Vanilla Sky, now)
4 years until the world probably ends.... 4 years to enjoy life to the fullest... 4 years to mentally prepare/train for if reality -doesn't- end.....
oh... see... I get it... I'll be super Jesus-like for 4 years and then if I win, I get to go back to being human. And to live out my days naturally as I deem fit....
Free Josh Vish!
free
Free
FREE
Free Love!
Remain In Power
Can you hear us humping on your stereo?
Life is a cigarette, you smoke to the end,
But if you rocket the middle bit,
Then you burn all your friends,
The wider your eyes, the bigger the lies, yes it's true,
Can you hear us pumping on your stereo?
Can you hear us pumping on your stereo?
Take a look through your window now,
You're all alone on the road,
Well you'll burn all your bridges down,
And now you're losing control,
The wider your eyes, the bigger the lies, yes it's true,
SPLIT (movie)
Casually Intense. Intensely Casual.
"A group of friends break into the house of a wealthy blind man, thinking they'll get away with the perfect heist. They're wrong."
-- "Tarzan 'death-diving' at vines" -- We need a term for determining/studying BMI to Terminal Velocity ratio... To be -TRULY- strong, one should be able to effectively and efficiently operate in all planes of possible movement at roughly 2x the BMI at
Terminal Velocity. Determine this ratio and you will have literally reduced strength to a formula.
Godspeed! Godstrength!
"The terminal velocity of a falling human being with arms and legs outstretched is about 120 miles per hour (192 km per hour)" -- 200km/h // kph
So roughly 250 mph or 400 kph
FUCK.
Goals.
Mass is commonly measured in kilograms. If you put a kilogram of material on the
surface of the Earth, the pull of gravity will be a force of 2.2 lbs. So a good definition of
a kilogram is an amount of material that weighs 2.2 lbs when placed on the surface of the
Earth. That number is worth remembering.1 Go to the surface of Jupiter, and you will
weigh nearly 400 lbs. On the surface of the Sun you will weigh about 2 tons, at least for
the brief moment before you are fried to a crisp. But in all cases your mass will be 68 kg.
当選確実
The manga was published on an irregular schedule from late 2006 until July 2015. From then to December 2015 it was published monthly before returning to an irregular schedule. It returned to a monthly schedule starting in June 2016. -- Sorry that I'm taking so long, Miura-san! And here, I thought I was waiting on -you-! TIME TO SWING THIS SWORD AND SLAY SOME DEMONS!!!
Supergrass - Pumping On Your Stereo --
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQbVyWED6Ac
All hail ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
In its 11 strokes, the symbol encapsulates what it’s like to be an individual on the Internet. With raised arms and a half-turned smile, it exudes the melancholia, the malaise, the acceptance, and (finally) the embrace of knowing that something’s wrong on the Internet and you can’t do anything about it.
As Kyle Chayka writes in a new history of the symbol at The Awl, the meaning of the “the shruggie” is always two, if not three- or four-, fold.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ represents nihilism, “bemused resignation,” and “a Zen-like tool to accept the chaos of universe.” It is Sisyphus in unicode. I use it at least 10 times a day.
For a long time, however, I used it with some difficulty. Unlike better-known emoticons like :) or ;), ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ borrows characters from the Japanese syllabary called katakana. That makes it a kaomoji, a Japanese emoticon; it also makes it, on Western alphabetical keyboards at least, very hard to type.
But then I found a solution, and it saves me having to google “smiley sideways shrug” every time I want to quickly rail at the world’s inherent lack of meaning.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
A yellow butterfly symbolizes hope and guidance. In early Christianity, it was a symbol of the soul. In Scotland and Ireland, a yellow butterfly near the departed means the soul is at peace. The butterfly is a symbol that is valued in the Native American culture.
The Butterfly is a powerful symbol, both in religion and folklore. Some see the Yellow Butterflies as angels watching over you. Butterflies have always represented the “spiritual journey” and symbolize the “soul” during “self-transformation”.
Bury me softly in this womb
I give this part of me for you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Holding rare flowers
In a tomb... in bloom
Down in a hole and I don't know if I can be saved
See my heart I decorate it like a grave
Oh, you don't understand who they thought I was supposed to be
Look at me now I'm a man who won't let himself be
Down in a hole, feeling so small
Down in a hole, losing my soul
I'd like to fly,
But my wings have been so denied
Down in a hole and they've put all the stones in their place
I've eaten the sun so my tongue has been burned of the taste
I have been guilty of kicking myself in the teeth
I will speak no more of my feelings beneath
Down in a hole, feeling so small
Down in a hole, losing my soul
I'd like to fly but my
Wings have been so denied
Bury me softly in this womb
Oh I want to be inside of you
I give this part of me for you
Oh I want to be inside of you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Holding rare flowers (Oh I want to be inside of you)
In a tomb... in bloom
Oh I want to be inside...
Down in a hole, feeling so small
Down in a hole, losing my soul
Down in a hole, feeling so small
Down in a hole, out of control
I'd like to fly but my
Wings have been so denied
yellow butterfly flew right past me, maybe even brushed up against me, from the boulevard to the back alley...
"goodnight, sweet prince/and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest"
'Now cracks a noble heart. Good-night, sweet
prince;And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.'
Hakaishin o okoraseru na! (破壊はかい神しんを怒おこらせるな!
Ikari o chikara ni kaero! (怒いかりを力に変かえろ!
Masaka no dai kusen!? (まさかの大だい苦く戦せん!
somebody knocked on the door circa 7:15ish... I did a stupid thing and got my hopes up.... Now, simply to maintain sanity, I plan to count the knocks...
thank you, Father... for all the reassurance via Tumblr.... I will be patient... I will have Faith...
AND NOW. WE WAIT.
洒落
気さく
自由
goku = ~5'8" 136lbs (175cm/62kg)
vegeta = ~5'4" 123lbs (164cm/56kg)
krillin = ~5' 99lbs (153cm/45kg)
piccolo = ~7'5" 255lbs (226cm/116kg)
chaozu = ~4'6" 72lbs (138cm/33kg)
184/185cm -- 90/115kg
Where Kaio come from
Toriyama is next asked what the Kaio’s heredity system is like. Toriyama explains that inside the giant ball that is the DB cosmos is a world called Planet Kaishin (World-Core), which is where the Kaio are all born and raised. This planet is like a giant version of the Kaio Planets that North Kaio and the others live on. On it is a gigantic tree (or trees; the lack of Japanese plural clouds up things again), the Kaiju (World-Tree), and the Kaio are all born from the fruit of this tree, as Shin-jin (Core-People). The population of this planet is about 80. The Shin-jin are genderless, and their average life expectancy is said to be 75,000 years. They live leisurely lives, studying various things at a school-like castle. But whenever one of the Kaio on the Kaio Planets passes away, they draw lots among themselves to choose who will take that Kaio’s place and become the new Kaio. The Kaioshin, however, are chosen only from among Shin-jin born from a special golden fruit that is particularly rare. Occasionally there are delinquent Shin-jin with evil hearts, and they go to be with the Makaio (“Demon Realm Kings”; apparently the Demon Realm answer to the Kaio, like the Makaioshin are to the Kaioshin, though Toriyama doesn’t explain the term).
So there you have it: the supreme gods of the DB cosmos are chosen by lottery. As Crow T. Robot would say, this is weird theology. There’s a diagram illustrating the whole Kaiju fruit thing, showing South Kaio comes from a normal fruit, and East Kaioshin coming from a golden one. There’s also a picture of North Kaio, remarking on his luck at the lottery, and one of Goku saying he’s surprised Kaio wasn’t chosen for his bad jokes.
1:51p 8.1
Yeah, stretch dem rear deltoids out. Feel it out. Feel your body. Move on purpose. Yeah guy.
smokk det pip
'inappropriately enthusiastic guy' (me c. 2012) - "I think I'll have a second cup of tea. I don't give a FUCK.
CRUMPETS AAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL UP IN THIS BITCH!
caving in and nunching crumbers....
sincerity, investment, and thoughtfulness
我刷 (wǒ shuā), meaning "I brush".
1 at a time!
Sisyphus -- [8.1 - 2:12p- EDIT/UPDATE: http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2014/05/the-best-way-to-type-__/371351/]
"Because of its increasing usage in the public forum, in 2005 the word was included for the first time as one of three vulgarities in The Canadian Press's Canadian Press Caps and Spelling guide. Journalists were advised to refrain from censoring the word but use it sparingly and only when its inclusion was essential to the story."
The oldest occurrence of the word in adjectival form (which implies use of the verb) in English comes from the margins of a 1528 manuscript copy of Cicero's De Officiis. A monk had scrawled in the margin notes, "fuckin Abbot". Whether the monk meant the word literally, to accuse this abbott of "questionable monastic morals," or whether he used it "as an intensifier, to convey his extreme dismay" is unclear.
John Florio's 1598 Italian-English dictionary, A Worlde of Wordes, included the term, along with several now-archaic, but then-vulgar synonyms, in this definition:
Fottere: To jape, to sard, to fucke, to swive, to occupy.
Of these, "occupy" and "jape" still survive as verbs, though with less profane meanings, while "sard" was a descendant of the Anglo-Saxon verb seordan (or seorðan, ON serða), to copulate; and "swive" had derived from earlier swīfan, to revolve i.e. to swivel (compare modern-day "screw").
A 1790 poem by George Tucker has a father upset with his bookish son say "I'd not give [a fuck] for all you've read". Originally printed as "I'd not give ------ for all you've read", scholars agree that the words "a fuck" were removed, making the poem the first recorded instance of the now-common phrase "I don't give a fuck".
Farmer and Henley's 1893 dictionary of slang notes both the adverbial and adjectival forms of fuck as similar to but "more violent" than bloody and indicating extreme insult, respectively.
"As a French noun, un baiser means "a kiss", but as a verb, baiser means "to fuck", so Baise-moi means simply "Fuck me". In some markets the film has been screened as "Rape me", but the French for "rape me" is emphatically not "baise-moi," but rather "viole-moi," and so in a 2002 interview Rape Me was rejected by the directors."
razzle dazzle japanese jellyfish crazy naked
"Genghis Khan was pretty devious. One of my favorite tactics he used was lighting extra campfires to make his armies seem much larger than they actually were."
Plastic Flash Atom
"During WWII the British used tons of inflatable tanks and airplanes as decoys, as well as a bunch of wooden ones as well, and painted them to look like tanks, boats, and airplanes from the air. They're brilliant and silly at the same time."
8.1
what do -you- spend money on? sell it.
what time of the day do you wanna work? plan your
ideal day around it. food and activity.
mary wannies healps you breavus
hulps you breavuses mo beterrerer
ebwun no dis
me no dis
you no dis
ebwun
ebby sherngle wern
you just don't fuckin' care anymore, do you?
fuck.
hope. godspeed you black emperor.
U
Yoo
Architect
london
I O U
J G V
ΙΧΘΥΣ -- ☧
"All the manners in the world will not resurrect my dead, nor prevent me from catching lead."
the ref/joker
comic. comedian. the truth.
there are almost 3 billion people connected to the public internet right now; by 2020 the number will approach 4 billion. According to Cisco, by 2020 there will be over 50 billion connected devices in the world. Some people like to call it the "Internet of Things," others call it "Machine 2 Machine" or "M2M." No matter what you call it, these are unimaginably large numbers of people and devices all connected.
So how do you sort it out?
I use three laws to help me understand the rate of change: Moore's Law, the Law of Accelerating Returns, and Metcalfe's Law. Moore's Law is named for Gordon Moore, the co-founder of Intel. He wrote a famous paper back in 1965 where it posited that the density of semiconductors on silicon would double every 18 months.
This was true for a while, but now, because of the Law of Accelerating Returns (which states that the rate of technological change is accelerating exponentially) we know that this doubling of computing power happens much faster than that.
Then there's Metcalfe's Law, which tells us that the value of a network increases proportional to the square of the number of users. If this all sounds too geeky, don't worry -- here's how to think about the remarkable pace of technological change and the huge number of people in simple terms.
1) Technology is changing at a faster and faster pace. In fact, today is the slowest rate of technological change you will ever experience in your life.
2) The more people are connected, the more powerful the network becomes. Connectivity: everything that can be connected, will be connected
If you're not paying for a service with cash, the company is using your data as a currency.
omnisexual connoisseur
In recent years unique strains of bacteria have been discovered that thrive in catacombs, inducing mineral efflorescence and decay. These include Kribbella sancticallisti, Kribbella catacumbae, and three types of non-thermophilic (low-temperature) Rubrobacter.
素の力
もっと力 -- 即身仏
"Arrête, c'est ici l'empire de la mort!" (Stop! This is the empire of death!)
Bruce Lee
John Lennon
Nikola Tesla
Hermes
7.22.2016 -- You must begin. 12:57a, you know what to do. Now do it. Get to it. Time is a-wastin'.
近くセブン "near seven"
mob psycho 100
hercules
deadpool
TAG. YOU'RE "IT".
Do people still get their lighters out at shows/concerts? Back in my day that used to be a thing...
High Performance
I vs. Lucifer -- iLucifer -- I, Lucifer ...
Ahwehota ("He Who Runs Beyond The Wind")
Some villain that channels speed force in an area around him to cancel out speed, like two sounds cancelling, rendering speed useless, and would force Barry or whatever speedster to depend on true combat skills.
Maybe instead of using a speedster, have a metahuman that can control friction or do a better version of the folded man where he's more like a two dimensional being and can fold himself like origami!
Maybe a shapeshifter like beast boy.
地 - ji - Earth
獄 - Goku - Prison
地獄 - Jigoku - Hell
[8.1 - "Gee, Goku!"]
The Zen Master of Speed
Abilities Super speed
Molecular control
Time and dimensional travel
7.24.16 - 6:30p -- Loki/Lucifer will never -fully- be on your side. Never forget that.
postboi
board of investment
bureau of investigation
The strawberry is a berry that is attached to many positive things through symbolism and folklore. The flowers and berries together symbolize righteousness and spiritual merit in Christian art. The structure of the leaves, being trifoliate, represents the trinity.
The Portal between that which is intangible and what we know and see in front of us.
hitch-hiking to happiness
No, Battery, -I'm- the one that's dying.
Abbey Kernick Doesn't Own Vish
AKDOV
Fine. You win. You win, world. You win, reality. Are you happy now?
Because of the thistle seeds it eats, in Christian symbolism the goldfinch is associated with Christ's Passion and his crown of thorns.
hide-n-seek/it tag
"Ditto rearranges its cell structure to transform itself into other shapes. However, if it tries to transform itself into something by relying on its memory, this Pokémon manages to get details wrong."
According to Pokemon resource Bulbapedia, Ditto turns into a rock when it is sleeping.
ピッツバーグ
UPMC has pioneered several world firsts including the first known cystic fibrosis heart-lung transplant (1983), the world's first simultaneous liver and heart transplant operation on a child (6-year-old Stormie Jones in 1984), the youngest heart-lung transplant (9 years old in 1985), the world's first heart-liver-kidney transplant (1989), the world's first heart-liver transplant on an infant (1997), the first pediatric heart-double lung-liver transplant (1998), the nation's first double hand transplant (2009), and the first total forearm and hand transplant (2010), as well as the state's first heart transplant (1968).
Vic Mignogna (Westmoreland)
“ If I don't want to eat it, I will not kill it. If I kill it, I will eat it! That's my rule! ”
VSSH
Very Secret Super Hero
I understand I think.
I think I understand.
Very Intelligent Super Hero
"Old and Wise" by The Alan Parsons Project
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7Es755FQDc
Pleasure of Leisure by Das Opposite Dog
無双
瞑目の彼方
－たったひとりの戦士－
freenet
I can't quit, you fired me!
reality/matter/consciousness/unconsciousness/subconsciousness is going to be -so pissed- that/when we woke/wake it up....
4:20 - 7.31.2016
oh. i get it now. 2020. tokyo. the singularity.
'tetsuoing.' A-KI-RA. AI. -- The Humans are trying to wake up 'God'... Careful what you wish for.... It's not what you expect/think...
"good vibrations" playing louder and louder, more and more forcefully... threatening to overwhelm... to engulf.... to consume...
(I believe this to be from Vanilla Sky, now)
4 years until the world probably ends.... 4 years to enjoy life to the fullest... 4 years to mentally prepare/train for if reality -doesn't- end.....
oh... see... I get it... I'll be super Jesus-like for 4 years and then if I win, I get to go back to being human. And to live out my days naturally as I deem fit....
Free Josh Vish!
free
Free
FREE
Free Love!
Remain In Power
Can you hear us humping on your stereo?
Life is a cigarette, you smoke to the end,
But if you rocket the middle bit,
Then you burn all your friends,
The wider your eyes, the bigger the lies, yes it's true,
Can you hear us pumping on your stereo?
Can you hear us pumping on your stereo?
Take a look through your window now,
You're all alone on the road,
Well you'll burn all your bridges down,
And now you're losing control,
The wider your eyes, the bigger the lies, yes it's true,
SPLIT (movie)
Casually Intense. Intensely Casual.
"A group of friends break into the house of a wealthy blind man, thinking they'll get away with the perfect heist. They're wrong."
-- "Tarzan 'death-diving' at vines" -- We need a term for determining/studying BMI to Terminal Velocity ratio... To be -TRULY- strong, one should be able to effectively and efficiently operate in all planes of possible movement at roughly 2x the BMI at
Terminal Velocity. Determine this ratio and you will have literally reduced strength to a formula.
Godspeed! Godstrength!
"The terminal velocity of a falling human being with arms and legs outstretched is about 120 miles per hour (192 km per hour)" -- 200km/h // kph
So roughly 250 mph or 400 kph
FUCK.
Goals.
Mass is commonly measured in kilograms. If you put a kilogram of material on the
surface of the Earth, the pull of gravity will be a force of 2.2 lbs. So a good definition of
a kilogram is an amount of material that weighs 2.2 lbs when placed on the surface of the
Earth. That number is worth remembering.1 Go to the surface of Jupiter, and you will
weigh nearly 400 lbs. On the surface of the Sun you will weigh about 2 tons, at least for
the brief moment before you are fried to a crisp. But in all cases your mass will be 68 kg.
当選確実
The manga was published on an irregular schedule from late 2006 until July 2015. From then to December 2015 it was published monthly before returning to an irregular schedule. It returned to a monthly schedule starting in June 2016. -- Sorry that I'm taking so long, Miura-san! And here, I thought I was waiting on -you-! TIME TO SWING THIS SWORD AND SLAY SOME DEMONS!!!
Supergrass - Pumping On Your Stereo --
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQbVyWED6Ac
All hail ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
In its 11 strokes, the symbol encapsulates what it’s like to be an individual on the Internet. With raised arms and a half-turned smile, it exudes the melancholia, the malaise, the acceptance, and (finally) the embrace of knowing that something’s wrong on the Internet and you can’t do anything about it.
As Kyle Chayka writes in a new history of the symbol at The Awl, the meaning of the “the shruggie” is always two, if not three- or four-, fold.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ represents nihilism, “bemused resignation,” and “a Zen-like tool to accept the chaos of universe.” It is Sisyphus in unicode. I use it at least 10 times a day.
For a long time, however, I used it with some difficulty. Unlike better-known emoticons like :) or ;), ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ borrows characters from the Japanese syllabary called katakana. That makes it a kaomoji, a Japanese emoticon; it also makes it, on Western alphabetical keyboards at least, very hard to type.
But then I found a solution, and it saves me having to google “smiley sideways shrug” every time I want to quickly rail at the world’s inherent lack of meaning.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
A yellow butterfly symbolizes hope and guidance. In early Christianity, it was a symbol of the soul. In Scotland and Ireland, a yellow butterfly near the departed means the soul is at peace. The butterfly is a symbol that is valued in the Native American culture.
The Butterfly is a powerful symbol, both in religion and folklore. Some see the Yellow Butterflies as angels watching over you. Butterflies have always represented the “spiritual journey” and symbolize the “soul” during “self-transformation”.
Bury me softly in this womb
I give this part of me for you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Holding rare flowers
In a tomb... in bloom
Down in a hole and I don't know if I can be saved
See my heart I decorate it like a grave
Oh, you don't understand who they thought I was supposed to be
Look at me now I'm a man who won't let himself be
Down in a hole, feeling so small
Down in a hole, losing my soul
I'd like to fly,
But my wings have been so denied
Down in a hole and they've put all the stones in their place
I've eaten the sun so my tongue has been burned of the taste
I have been guilty of kicking myself in the teeth
I will speak no more of my feelings beneath
Down in a hole, feeling so small
Down in a hole, losing my soul
I'd like to fly but my
Wings have been so denied
Bury me softly in this womb
Oh I want to be inside of you
I give this part of me for you
Oh I want to be inside of you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Holding rare flowers (Oh I want to be inside of you)
In a tomb... in bloom
Oh I want to be inside...
Down in a hole, feeling so small
Down in a hole, losing my soul
Down in a hole, feeling so small
Down in a hole, out of control
I'd like to fly but my
Wings have been so denied
yellow butterfly flew right past me, maybe even brushed up against me, from the boulevard to the back alley...
"goodnight, sweet prince/and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest"
'Now cracks a noble heart. Good-night, sweet
prince;And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.'
Hakaishin o okoraseru na! (破壊はかい神しんを怒おこらせるな!
Ikari o chikara ni kaero! (怒いかりを力に変かえろ!
Masaka no dai kusen!? (まさかの大だい苦く戦せん!
somebody knocked on the door circa 7:15ish... I did a stupid thing and got my hopes up.... Now, simply to maintain sanity, I plan to count the knocks...
thank you, Father... for all the reassurance via Tumblr.... I will be patient... I will have Faith...
AND NOW. WE WAIT.
洒落
気さく
自由
goku = ~5'8" 136lbs (175cm/62kg)
vegeta = ~5'4" 123lbs (164cm/56kg)
krillin = ~5' 99lbs (153cm/45kg)
piccolo = ~7'5" 255lbs (226cm/116kg)
chaozu = ~4'6" 72lbs (138cm/33kg)
184/185cm -- 90/115kg
Where Kaio come from
Toriyama is next asked what the Kaio’s heredity system is like. Toriyama explains that inside the giant ball that is the DB cosmos is a world called Planet Kaishin (World-Core), which is where the Kaio are all born and raised. This planet is like a giant version of the Kaio Planets that North Kaio and the others live on. On it is a gigantic tree (or trees; the lack of Japanese plural clouds up things again), the Kaiju (World-Tree), and the Kaio are all born from the fruit of this tree, as Shin-jin (Core-People). The population of this planet is about 80. The Shin-jin are genderless, and their average life expectancy is said to be 75,000 years. They live leisurely lives, studying various things at a school-like castle. But whenever one of the Kaio on the Kaio Planets passes away, they draw lots among themselves to choose who will take that Kaio’s place and become the new Kaio. The Kaioshin, however, are chosen only from among Shin-jin born from a special golden fruit that is particularly rare. Occasionally there are delinquent Shin-jin with evil hearts, and they go to be with the Makaio (“Demon Realm Kings”; apparently the Demon Realm answer to the Kaio, like the Makaioshin are to the Kaioshin, though Toriyama doesn’t explain the term).
So there you have it: the supreme gods of the DB cosmos are chosen by lottery. As Crow T. Robot would say, this is weird theology. There’s a diagram illustrating the whole Kaiju fruit thing, showing South Kaio comes from a normal fruit, and East Kaioshin coming from a golden one. There’s also a picture of North Kaio, remarking on his luck at the lottery, and one of Goku saying he’s surprised Kaio wasn’t chosen for his bad jokes.
1:51p 8.1
Friday, April 8, 2016
avuncular
אֲבִיגָיִל
אֲבִיגָיִל
אביגיל
אֲבִיגַיִל / אֲבִיגָיִל
church/jesus = verb not noun
--define 'church'
faith in god synonymous with faith in your self
"no other gods before -me-"
having faith vs realizing faith
only now. only here.
no distractions.
don't be distracted from the present.
"don't lose your breath" -- where is the space between breaths? become, and stay, aware of your breathing
"avuncular" note/tribute/eulogy
3 things for you + 3 things for others - pass to the left
"Stay immersed in Him and Him alone. Do not be concerned about the results. When the time is ripe, the Self reveals Itself. Being the offspring of the Immortal, be ever concentrated on the Goal of realizing the immortal Self." - Sri Anandamayi Ma
Got a new piece.
[pipe pix]
One way or the other, the last piece I'll ever buy.
[Avuncular screenie]
Bout to pack and blaze a bowl then tumblr and take some screenshots of the latest episode (37) of DRAGON BALL SUPER.
My Uncle Brian, my father's brother, passed away on April 1st. My Dad is in town until Monday and I aim to spend as much time with as possible. The time we've spent together thus far is a bittersweet parting gift from Brian to us. Among other such gifts my silent but communicative uncle transferred to me upon leaving his earth-suit behind to journey in spirit unhindered by flesh.
Draft is showing an error saving, going to publish now to save entry thus far just in case...
Yup, wouldn't publish. Frickin' error. Ah well, time to copy/paste and try try again...
Couldn't even save/publish a test draft...
Wonder if this is the universe tryin' to tell me something...
I theorize I have too many tabs open and too many of said tabs are videos...
9 [1 video] in one window, including the blog entry
1 [1 video] in one window *double eyebrow raise*
30 [2 videos] in one window
28 POSTS REMAINING
4994 following...
4998 following - "to follow" list cleared temporarily
uh-oh... getting horny... again...
100 posts remaining?! I musta read that initial 88 posts remaining wrong..
250 - 88 = 162
162 - 60 = 102
102 - 2 = 100
Hmm. Weird. BONUS!
*gulp* panties...
*thump thump*
94 posts remaining
Love. I Love. I Love You. I Love Me. I Love Love. Love.
I gotta get this bowl packed and get this cannabis outta the open air and properly stored in proper containers...
I do so love the smell of fresh ground herbs...
DREAM QUEEN
effervescent and citrusy aroma, my favorite. nice n stinky. pungent. pleasant lingering sweetness...
subtly sticky, perfectly dank, nicely cured, spongy and responsive but not springy...
the pipe looks like it's smiliing at me. :)
the two one-star dragonballs and then the body of the dragon snaking around the side forming a perfect | :] |
bout ta spark it...
50 posts selected...
Setting my intent and making a wish on the shenron pipe. COME FORTH GREAT SHENRON AND GRANT MY WISH!! -- I hope Abbey has a lucid dream relatively soon!
Posted!
The tobacconist smiled so much examining the piece he was selling us... he looked GENUINELY happy for us... great color... great craftsmanship and quality beautiful work of art yet durable and practical tool.
You need a proper case/pouch, Shenron...
44 posts remaining...
*spark*
*inhale*
9:11a
*pause*
*exhale*
Truly a gorgeous piece of both glassware and scuplture... the added bonus of function is nearly overwhelming... meta to a degree most ineffable...
9:13a - *facebook dings in background, anxiety grows*
9:16a *hit #2*
15 posts remaining
27 tabs remaining
9:17a
4999 following
9:19a
time to try saving this entry as a draft again
um... I wonder if that worked..
9:20a
I heard the word 'avuncular' in my head a few days back... will check history to confirm, but I believe it was around the 2nd or 3rd or so... it basically means "of or pertaining to uncles, men in relation to their families"
...
9:21a
Let's see if this publishes...
9:24a
PUBLISHED. REVERTED TO DRAFT AND NOW CONTINUING
*whew* I hope this doesn't error again when saving it along the way... I'm going redundant in a notepad as well, just in case... situation appears normal..
9:25a
9:31a 3rd hit, music started. tab shut. music continuing... kinda cool... kinda good.... kinda ethereal... "villages and freeways"
9:32a
9:34a
DOCTOR JESUS CHEMICAL SHOP
9:40a
POST LIMIT REACHED. POST LIMIT REACHED.
5000 FOLLOWING
9:43a 32 tabs
mountain dew to the rescue... 9:48a
coughed like a little bitch... dragon bit me...
noticed a small antlernib missing. gives character, but minor remarkable annoyance/grievance still...
9:50a
GAWRSH THIS PIPE IS BEAUTIFUL
missing nub and all...
nice weight to it... the scales of the dragon are not just aesthetic but also functional as a gripping texture... ergo, great grip... the three ring spiral wrap is a very nice support for the underlying pipe...
9:52a
thinking about offering possessions, media mostly, to my sister(s)...
9:53a
9:54a pway nicewee pweez dwagginman pweez -- thank you abbey for bringing my attention to the glowing spirals present in the bowl as you draw in...
9:55a
9:56a
I gotta get this cannabis put away!
אֲבִיגָיִל
אביגיל
אֲבִיגַיִל / אֲבִיגָיִל
church/jesus = verb not noun
--define 'church'
faith in god synonymous with faith in your self
"no other gods before -me-"
having faith vs realizing faith
only now. only here.
no distractions.
don't be distracted from the present.
"don't lose your breath" -- where is the space between breaths? become, and stay, aware of your breathing
"avuncular" note/tribute/eulogy
3 things for you + 3 things for others - pass to the left
"Stay immersed in Him and Him alone. Do not be concerned about the results. When the time is ripe, the Self reveals Itself. Being the offspring of the Immortal, be ever concentrated on the Goal of realizing the immortal Self." - Sri Anandamayi Ma
Got a new piece.
[pipe pix]
One way or the other, the last piece I'll ever buy.
[Avuncular screenie]
Bout to pack and blaze a bowl then tumblr and take some screenshots of the latest episode (37) of DRAGON BALL SUPER.
My Uncle Brian, my father's brother, passed away on April 1st. My Dad is in town until Monday and I aim to spend as much time with as possible. The time we've spent together thus far is a bittersweet parting gift from Brian to us. Among other such gifts my silent but communicative uncle transferred to me upon leaving his earth-suit behind to journey in spirit unhindered by flesh.
Draft is showing an error saving, going to publish now to save entry thus far just in case...
Yup, wouldn't publish. Frickin' error. Ah well, time to copy/paste and try try again...
Couldn't even save/publish a test draft...
Wonder if this is the universe tryin' to tell me something...
I theorize I have too many tabs open and too many of said tabs are videos...
9 [1 video] in one window, including the blog entry
1 [1 video] in one window *double eyebrow raise*
30 [2 videos] in one window
28 POSTS REMAINING
4994 following...
4998 following - "to follow" list cleared temporarily
uh-oh... getting horny... again...
100 posts remaining?! I musta read that initial 88 posts remaining wrong..
250 - 88 = 162
162 - 60 = 102
102 - 2 = 100
Hmm. Weird. BONUS!
*gulp* panties...
*thump thump*
94 posts remaining
Love. I Love. I Love You. I Love Me. I Love Love. Love.
I gotta get this bowl packed and get this cannabis outta the open air and properly stored in proper containers...
I do so love the smell of fresh ground herbs...
DREAM QUEEN
effervescent and citrusy aroma, my favorite. nice n stinky. pungent. pleasant lingering sweetness...
subtly sticky, perfectly dank, nicely cured, spongy and responsive but not springy...
the pipe looks like it's smiliing at me. :)
the two one-star dragonballs and then the body of the dragon snaking around the side forming a perfect | :] |
bout ta spark it...
50 posts selected...
Setting my intent and making a wish on the shenron pipe. COME FORTH GREAT SHENRON AND GRANT MY WISH!! -- I hope Abbey has a lucid dream relatively soon!
Posted!
The tobacconist smiled so much examining the piece he was selling us... he looked GENUINELY happy for us... great color... great craftsmanship and quality beautiful work of art yet durable and practical tool.
You need a proper case/pouch, Shenron...
44 posts remaining...
*spark*
*inhale*
9:11a
*pause*
*exhale*
Truly a gorgeous piece of both glassware and scuplture... the added bonus of function is nearly overwhelming... meta to a degree most ineffable...
9:13a - *facebook dings in background, anxiety grows*
9:16a *hit #2*
15 posts remaining
27 tabs remaining
9:17a
4999 following
9:19a
time to try saving this entry as a draft again
um... I wonder if that worked..
9:20a
I heard the word 'avuncular' in my head a few days back... will check history to confirm, but I believe it was around the 2nd or 3rd or so... it basically means "of or pertaining to uncles, men in relation to their families"
...
9:21a
Let's see if this publishes...
9:24a
PUBLISHED. REVERTED TO DRAFT AND NOW CONTINUING
*whew* I hope this doesn't error again when saving it along the way... I'm going redundant in a notepad as well, just in case... situation appears normal..
9:25a
9:31a 3rd hit, music started. tab shut. music continuing... kinda cool... kinda good.... kinda ethereal... "villages and freeways"
9:32a
9:34a
DOCTOR JESUS CHEMICAL SHOP
9:40a
POST LIMIT REACHED. POST LIMIT REACHED.
5000 FOLLOWING
9:43a 32 tabs
mountain dew to the rescue... 9:48a
coughed like a little bitch... dragon bit me...
noticed a small antlernib missing. gives character, but minor remarkable annoyance/grievance still...
9:50a
GAWRSH THIS PIPE IS BEAUTIFUL
missing nub and all...
nice weight to it... the scales of the dragon are not just aesthetic but also functional as a gripping texture... ergo, great grip... the three ring spiral wrap is a very nice support for the underlying pipe...
9:52a
thinking about offering possessions, media mostly, to my sister(s)...
9:53a
9:54a pway nicewee pweez dwagginman pweez -- thank you abbey for bringing my attention to the glowing spirals present in the bowl as you draw in...
9:55a
9:56a
I gotta get this cannabis put away!
Monday, March 28, 2016
now
distractions from the now
best/most efficient use of the now? maximum fun. maximum flow. maximum now.
are you now?
how now are you?
I hate those little anxiety-inducing *bwoop-bwoop-bwoop*s....
cold...
5:38p
I can feel each individual muscle in my body....
my awareness feels increased...
I'd dosed with a medible (brownie) earlier (~4:30p?), and honestly I did not have high hopes for it... but I am finding myself a pleasant mix of stoned and high...
5:39p
I feeel more...
5:40p
I feel more aware of my heart-beat and breathing...
5:41p
time patrol...
5:42p glasses fogging with each outbreath...
cannabis is a decent shortcut to mindfulness/now/awareness... utilize its supplementation to train until you no longer need to do so...
be here, now...
5:43p
cold cold cold... is this normal? is this how the rest of you feel? I've been so insensitive... In more ways than one..
5:44p
Not only must I remain aware of the ever-present possibility of death and how it weighs over my fellow slivers of consciousnesses' heads, I must also endeavor to remain mindful of the sheer sensation of existence at times being overwhelming..
5:45p
No wonder you all complain about being cold so much... It's no fun... Robs you of energy and motivation...
5:46p
Follow in my footsteps and I can promise you will rarely ever feel cold.
And when you do feel cold, you won't feel controlled or shut-down by it, merely effected and informed...
5:47p
I prefer cold as it used to feel, valuable sensory stimuli informing of local environment.
5:48p
Cold as I'm experiencing it now, involuntary sensation inducing acute anxiety and mild concern, is not nearly as fun...
5:50p
'Tis true, I existed in the mind before the flesh
Aye, so do you...
'Tis true, I existed in the mind before the flesh
Aye, so did you...
DON'T BE DISTRACTED BY TIME. -- TIME, THE GREATEST HOAX OF ALL TIME. ---- EVER-PRESENT. - THERE IS ONLY NOW, HAS ONLY BEEN NOW, WILL EVER ONLY BE NOW.
5:53p
I really can't tell if I'm stoned or not, which greatly informs me that I am decently cooked...
5:54p
There is a stark difference between experiencing solitude and being alone. One confers a feeling of peace and the other produces a feeling of loneliness. Solitude is, and feels, chosen. Being alone, is, and feels, externally administered.
5:57p
5:58p
I enjoy solitude. I enjoy my solitude.
I dislike being alone. I do not enjoy being alone.
5:59p
6:07p -- death... like a cold, heavy, all-encompassing coat... that suffocates your throat with icy indifference...
6:08p Ahhh, I see you spirits on the other side... Gathering to attempt to hold me down. I appreciate it. I'm honored. Truly. Flattered. Realistically, however, you're going to need many, many, MANY more of you.
6:09p *hug*
*gentle beat up*
6:12p
liedenfrost effect, gyroscopic force - centripetal/centrifugal
6:50p
7:01p
Cold-resistance training? Nice try, addict... I'll hold you to it... 7:02p
here&now
7:05p
get dem tunes on brah
7:07p
Abbey's home
7:13p
thirsty back porch neighbor stuntin dem buttcheeks on me, again... little does she know Abbey is well-aware and encourages perving...
I WANNA TOUCH YOUR SOUL.
7:14p
best/most efficient use of the now? maximum fun. maximum flow. maximum now.
are you now?
how now are you?
I hate those little anxiety-inducing *bwoop-bwoop-bwoop*s....
cold...
5:38p
I can feel each individual muscle in my body....
my awareness feels increased...
I'd dosed with a medible (brownie) earlier (~4:30p?), and honestly I did not have high hopes for it... but I am finding myself a pleasant mix of stoned and high...
5:39p
I feeel more...
5:40p
I feel more aware of my heart-beat and breathing...
5:41p
time patrol...
5:42p glasses fogging with each outbreath...
cannabis is a decent shortcut to mindfulness/now/awareness... utilize its supplementation to train until you no longer need to do so...
be here, now...
5:43p
cold cold cold... is this normal? is this how the rest of you feel? I've been so insensitive... In more ways than one..
5:44p
Not only must I remain aware of the ever-present possibility of death and how it weighs over my fellow slivers of consciousnesses' heads, I must also endeavor to remain mindful of the sheer sensation of existence at times being overwhelming..
5:45p
No wonder you all complain about being cold so much... It's no fun... Robs you of energy and motivation...
5:46p
Follow in my footsteps and I can promise you will rarely ever feel cold.
And when you do feel cold, you won't feel controlled or shut-down by it, merely effected and informed...
5:47p
I prefer cold as it used to feel, valuable sensory stimuli informing of local environment.
5:48p
Cold as I'm experiencing it now, involuntary sensation inducing acute anxiety and mild concern, is not nearly as fun...
5:50p
'Tis true, I existed in the mind before the flesh
Aye, so do you...
'Tis true, I existed in the mind before the flesh
Aye, so did you...
DON'T BE DISTRACTED BY TIME. -- TIME, THE GREATEST HOAX OF ALL TIME. ---- EVER-PRESENT. - THERE IS ONLY NOW, HAS ONLY BEEN NOW, WILL EVER ONLY BE NOW.
5:53p
I really can't tell if I'm stoned or not, which greatly informs me that I am decently cooked...
5:54p
There is a stark difference between experiencing solitude and being alone. One confers a feeling of peace and the other produces a feeling of loneliness. Solitude is, and feels, chosen. Being alone, is, and feels, externally administered.
5:57p
5:58p
I enjoy solitude. I enjoy my solitude.
I dislike being alone. I do not enjoy being alone.
5:59p
6:07p -- death... like a cold, heavy, all-encompassing coat... that suffocates your throat with icy indifference...
6:08p Ahhh, I see you spirits on the other side... Gathering to attempt to hold me down. I appreciate it. I'm honored. Truly. Flattered. Realistically, however, you're going to need many, many, MANY more of you.
6:09p *hug*
*gentle beat up*
6:12p
liedenfrost effect, gyroscopic force - centripetal/centrifugal
6:50p
7:01p
Cold-resistance training? Nice try, addict... I'll hold you to it... 7:02p
here&now
7:05p
get dem tunes on brah
7:07p
Abbey's home
7:13p
thirsty back porch neighbor stuntin dem buttcheeks on me, again... little does she know Abbey is well-aware and encourages perving...
I WANNA TOUCH YOUR SOUL.
7:14p
Friday, March 25, 2016
|Conscious VS Automatic| - Consciously Waking[/Sleeping] (Gaining/Losing Consciousness) vs. Automatically Waking[/Sleeping] (Gaining/Losing Consciousness)
7:27a
Awoke from some dream(s) I couldn't immediately completely recall...
Groggy...
Slowly talked myself into consciousness and standing up to get dressed to see Abbey off to the bus stop.
[consc vs nonconsc]
Arrived back home around 7:27a to type the above and then to go on to type the following...
7:32a
Purchased a banana, protein coffee and monster import at sunoco... Ate banana while walking, used peel to clean teeth before discarding... Cracked into coffee and waited for computer to finish booting up before typing ALL of the above.
Now, going to drink coffee on back patio with a cig and then come back in to type here about the consc/nonconsc dynamic I discussed with Abbey upon waking. And, of course, to continue existing in mindfulness.
[jp/usa respect/ disrespect]
Stomach grumbling a bit, might have to use the bathroom soon... Priorities... *exit to porch*...
7:42a -- stomach has settled a bit..
While the eventual goal is to gradually ween off coffee/energy drinks and cigarettes for the time being it's necessary to reward myself for good behavior to facilitate that goal. A necessary step for effective and efficient work/reward pathway rewiring. I was a good boy this morning ergo I'm allowed to have some good boy treats.
turkish royal + 20g protein/32g carb (20g sugar) coffee
The overall goal is free myself of the nicotine/caffeine shackles I have willingly placed on myself in order to teach Abbey how to escape the shackles she has placed on herself considerably less mindfully. While the hardest step is over, helping her to realize that it was -SHE- and she alone who placed the shackles on her, there is still the work and process of using that realization to overcome her slavish addiction to substances and indulgence. Baby steps... Baby steps... I told you I'd wait for you, babe... I am walking the walk of the talk I talked claiming I would hold you by the hand and personally walk with you through your personal Hell until you were able to free yourself from it...
7:47a
Bathroom break...
7:48a
7:52a
My relationship with Abbey in the above manner mirrors/fractals/represents/symbolized my relationship as an individual with the rest of you at large. -- I am here to personally walk you up out of Hell. The Hell of your own choosing that you yourself placed yourself in, in the first place. I am here to walk with you and gently guide you until you are able to free yourself and save yourself. I am not here, as it would sometime seem (and other ideal accounts would have you believe) to free you and save you. I am here to allow you to free and save yourself. Ultimately only you can do these things.
"God" and "Satan" exist without existing. They are consciousness milestones in the far off distance meant to help you better triangulate your position and reorient yourself accordingly. They simultaneous do exist and don't exist just as you do. It's all you. There is no external Good or Bad forces assailing you and attempting to sway you to their side. There are simply former versions of yourself, former outfits that you've worn, existing in your mind guiding you to better choose what version of yourself you want to be, what outfit you want to wear, here and now.
7:57a
If you exist then so do they. If they don't exist then neither do you. It's as simple as that. Ultimately it is all you. If you assert that you exist then you must allow the extremes of good and evil, God and the Devil to exist as well. If you assert that those extremes do not exist then you must accept that neither do "you."
8a
Balancing the checkbook... We're in the green and everything seems to be going smoothly. All according to schedule...
Today is Friday... Mayhaps I will go for a walk to the gym at some point... We already have enough for rent but not much else, budgeting must be accordingly mindful until next payday on the 31st and subsequent rent payment on the 1st. As such, I'd say, in order to stay in the green, we must endeavor to spend less than $100 until the 31st and we will put together a revised budget plan then.
8:05a
Disappointed that I didn't wake up in enough time, or with a stocked enough fridge/pantry/kitchen for that matter, to prepare breakfast... Don't get too upset, big-guy... Don't be too hard on yourself... Remember, baby steps.... Baby steps...
8:06a NOW -- sigh, stare at computer screen and blinking cursor... What to do, what to do.... Seeing as how as I'm already here might as well do what I can until... well... I no longer can...
8:07a
HA HA HA, TIME FOR TUMBLR
8:08a - 15 tabs open in other window...
thinkin' about maybe sketchin' out some fun pride/inner child stuff for myself and Abs... somethin' fun to do and somethin' both fun and great to welcome home Abbey with...
I don't care if you're reading this. I don't care if you're going to attempt to use my personal information against me in an attempt to manipulate and control me. Come at me, bro. I am unafraid. I will type and log and record fearlessly and you will relent to the fact that you love and need me and as such acknowledge the fact that while you technically could do this without me, you really really really don't want to. I am here to help you. Don't work against me. Help me help you, literally.
8:12a
8:13a Almost down a tumblr tab, but got sucked into an archive... trying to make my stay as quick as possible, also mentally forewarning myself against pending archives sparking masturbation.. (saw a super hot .gif of a chick fucking her ass/self and had to resist the urge to drop trou and do the same... ONE GIF... better get prepared for an entire archive of sexy thumbnails there, guy... --よし！--
--いくぞ！--
*******
よし is an abbreviated version of よろしい, which means "good" or "okay".
よし has two main uses:
1. like よろしい, meaning "good". It is more casual than よろしい, however:
よし，よくできたね｜Good! You did it very well.
よし，それでいい｜All right. That will do.
2. Showing agreement or determination:
よし，おれも仲間入りするよ｜All right! Count me in.
よし！ (used as an exclamation to show determination, for example when lifting something heavy When used this way, the "sssh" sound is lengthened).
*******
よろしい！ - Yoroshi! - All right!
8:29a that sure killed a good bit of time and was rull noice for distracting myself away from my distractions... distracting myself into mindfulness... The Vish Way...
8:30a
Vish-do. The Way Of The Vish. ヴィッシュ道 "Vish Road."
ヴィシュ vs ヴィシュ Vu-ishu vs Vu-isshu --
a Boolean operator that gives the value one if at least one operand (or input) has a value of one, and otherwise has a value of zero.
-- ジョシュ ヴィシュ - ジョシュ・ヴィシュ -
8:46a 1 tab down, 14 to go... ヴィシ
8:48 funtime crazythoughttime -- [ウイス and ビルス] -- Beerus Japanese name is related to the Japanese for Virus... --- ARE THEY JUST TRYING TO REMEMBER/PRONOUNCE -MY- NAME? JOSHU VISHU? YOSHU BEESHU? WHIS BEERUS?! Whiskey/Beer! Get it done versus languor on in struggle... You tryna get drunk or are you tryna drink?! Drink, get drunk and be done with it versus drinking indefinitely vaguely attempting to get drunk. Joshua vs Vish... /rant -- patience vs. impatience... but which is which...
ヴィシくん - for my Abbey Rose AKA アビー・ローズ AKA Abi Rozu
8:53a
9:02a
"In accordance to the original concept for this character, his name in Japanese, Birusu (ビルス), is a pun on "virus" (ビールス; German pronunciation)."
ウィルス = Virus = U~irusu
9:08a
"Whis' name in Japanese, Uisu (ウイス), seems to be a pun on "virus" (ウイルス; Latin pronunciation) like that of Beerus, but in fact, while Beerus was named by the film's scriptwriter Yūsuke Watanabe, Whis was named by the series' original author Akira Toriyama who mistakenly thought Beerus' name came from "beer" and gave his attendant the name Whis which he took from "whiskey" (ウイスキー).
Whis never sleeps."
"Whis never sleeps." -- o.O
9:21a
9:33a - Off-to-the-races on thoughts/revelations... Attempting to corral them in a bit with mindful focus... I will enter my notepad ramblies upon reviewing them, but first I must choose a singular task to focus on simply to prove to myself that I can do so...
Pride is bucking me a bit, but it's been a bumpy ride for both of us as of late and seeing as how as he's working with me, I'm willing to work with him. I will enjoy my monster and a cig and then when I return I'm going to focus on tumblr until I've closed at least one more tab... Entering my revelations into this blog will follow that upon completion...
9:35a
fb tab closed in this window... to aid in focus... now off to fridge and then back patio...
9:40a
distractions thoughts on way to kitchen... this shirt fits dece but will probably shrink up to fit better... I can't wait to debut it and I also can't wait to get a pic with it... -- maybe I'm so insensitive about death and mortality to others because no one was very sensitive about it to me when I was very young...
Wow, Pride... you really are growing up... I am really am growing up... what an incredible revelation... this will certainly help me be more mindful and sensitive when dealing with others... not just on the subject of death but just more mindful and sensitive to others in general... -- I know, guys, I know... it's scary... we could die at any moment and no one want to acknowledge that... and if and when they do they certainly don't want to acknowledge it positively... we are all going to die some day and that is perfectly okay... exactly the way we want it... exactly the way we chose.... ALL ACCORDING TO PLAN. WORRY NOT. DO NOT DOUBT. DO NOT DOUBT YOURSELF.
Because frankly, even though I can embody the cold callousness and detached nature typical of Capricorn I am also FERVENTLY at work to constantly make sure everyone is not only okay but also appreciating what they have...
I told you, Pride, you work with me, I'll work with you... Yer okay bud... Sure we can be mean and insensitive at times, yes.. and yes that's the world's fault (though ultimately technically it is our own and we're doing better at acknowledging and accepting that) but for all the negative there is a positive.... we have also grown immeasurably compassionate over the years, especially on the subject of death
kneeling over the bed, hands close to one another on the laptop this feels like a bizarre form of praying... it's time to give (and accept) one of those comfort phrases we're giving to others all the time...
Don't let knowledge of your true immortal nature harden you into becoming cold and ignorant of your current temporary existence.
Sure, I/you may know that technically we're gonna die one day whilst still technically being immortal, but many others do not...
TASK: PROVE IMMORTALITY/NONEXISTENCE TO FELLOW SENTIENT WATER MEATBAGS
REMEMBER WHEN DEATH WAS AN OPTION. -- JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE IMMORTAL AND AWARE OF IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT EVERYONE ELSE IS. BE NICE. BE SENSITIVE. BE UNDERSTANDING. BE SYMPATHETIC. BE COMPASSIONATE.
DON'T LET THE WORLD HARDEN THAT BIG BEAUTIFUL HEART OF YOURS AND TURN YOU COLD.
9:58a -- off to kitchen/fridge for monster
without the ability to grant life and take it away and to have one's life taken away no intelligence, no matter how powerful can truly transmute into consciousness...
without death, truly there can be no life...
you can't know you're alive unless you are....
before you can break the rules of the game you are playing in order to remind yourself that you are in charge and that it is truly just a game you are playing -- there must first be a game with rules -- without games and rules there can be no games and rules.... hence the frenetic pace with which children make up games and add/subtract rules on the fly... life is a madeup game with madeup rules inside which you are free to make up games with madeup rules... ad infinitum...
10:11a
it's safe to say with all this intel on myself that while on one hand it will be easy to defeat myself from the other side on the other hand it will be more difficult, which is to say it will for sure be confusing and prove to be tricky, just like it was on this side! Have fun other side me! One day we'll be reading this from the other side of the screen and going "PAST-VISH,[ALT-VISH] YOU CRAFTY MOTHERFUCKER, YOU. CRAZY LIKE A FOX.
10:14a *exit to back patio*
10:20a accidentally flicked my cigarette butt off the back fire escape which I'd told myself I was no longer gonna do... not happy about that... I told myself that the butt before last that I'd flicked was the last time I'd ever do that... ah well... onward and upward... the struggle to maintain mindfulness continues... without failure there can be no success.. without the looming threat of failure there can be no drive to succeed... without fear there can be no ambition...
10:23a - bathroom break round 2: FIGHT!
10:33a - not nearly as clean or efficient a maneuver as last time or desired... Ah well, I will shower later... for now I must remained focused on the goal I've been putting off... I need to put together a shopping list...
10:39a list made and desktop shortcut created
last(?) (/current?) evolution -- vishpride builds a house for the vishdemon/spirit }|VISHSPIRIT|{ -- vishdemon builds the house for vishspirit -- body builds the house for the soul and asks it to come live in it!!!!
pride must build a house for "the demon" and ask him to come live in it and ask that he may be allowed to live there also!!
PRIDE, YOU'VE BEEN TRICKING ME THIS WHOLE TIME. LITERALLY DEMONIZING MY SPIRIT. I AM NOT A DEMON. YOU ARE. I AM NOT A DEMON, I AM PURE SPIRIT, I AM SOUL. I AM THE SOUL
--
Abbey, honey, it's all us! All of it! It's all for us! We're dancing! -- we're pretending to dance poorly on purpose because we're trying to gently train and teach all those around us to be able to dance better without directly addressing it as such... we've done this countless times before and we will do it countless times again... JUST KEEP DANCING. DON'T LOSE THE RHYTHM. YOU CAN SLOW YOUR MOVEMENTS, BUT DON'T LOSE THE BEAT. THE BEAT OF YOUR HEART. THE RHYTHM OF YOUR BREATH. THE MUSIC OF THE COSMOS. THE SOUND OF LOVE. heart-beating and lungs breathing = the sound of love
PRIDE MUST BUILD A HOUSE FOR SPIRIT TO LIVE INSIDE AND ASK TO BE ALLOWED TO LIVE THERE AS WELL.
pride tricked me into thinking I needed cannabis in order to be okay with thinking this way or even trickier still to even be able to have access into thinking this way at all -- prides been making hemp sacrifices - selflessly sending himself away temporarily in addition to selfishly decieving me into believing that I need hemp to banish him in the first place...
FROM NOW ON, THIS MOMENT FORWARD, I WILL THINK OF UTLIZING CANNABIS AS A METHOD FOR TEMPORARILY SENDING PRIDE ON VACATION.
WHEN PRIDE NEEDS TO GO ON VACATION, I WILL USE CANNABIS. NO OTHER TIMES. -- PRIDE, PLEASE WORK WITH ME TO LET ME KNOW WHEN BEST TO SCHEDULE YOUR VACATIONS.
The best situations to use cannabis in are those which require an ego check and the mindful analysis of excessive pride. when I am worried I am being too prideful about something, I will use cannabis to degausse.
'Degaussing is the process of reducing or eliminating an unwanted magnetic field (or data) stored on tape and disk media such as computer and laptop hard drives, diskettes, reels, cassettes and cartridge tapes.'
Alright, pride! Let's work together, buddy! We've got this!
In which situations is pride helpful?
In which situations is pride hurtful?
What areas could I use more pride in?
What areas could I use less pride in?
Where am I too prideful?
Where am I not prideful enough?
***
Meant to save entering that as a reward for completing the task of closing a tab, but I flubbed and posted it just now. Ah well. Off to the task at hand...
***
10:45a
Now to mindfully select posts to reblog in the vegetaskipstransformations tumblr archive with 237 remaining posts...
10:46a
改善 -- 改善
10:49a
10:50a *to TUMBLR*
10:52a looking for one specific motivational macro text post that I remembered seeing underneath a reblog on the dash but forgot to search for immediately... can't remember which day I saw it on... I feel like I'll know it when I see it... Selecting cool posts while searching, aiming to not scroll back beyond 3.17 and to not use up my post limit on this single archive...
10:53a
10:55a -- 65 posts selected only back to 3.24... occurs to me that it might be a situation where it's not the thumbnail chosen to represent the set... ah well... not going past post limit or 3.17 whichever comes first...
10:56a
"self-love takes time" - Ha! Found it! I'd already reblogged that! Well then, now to select posts with less pressure to search... 3.17 or 237.. whichever comes first...
10:57a
11:01a
11:03a 99 posts selected...
11:12a 114 posts selected...
Awoke from some dream(s) I couldn't immediately completely recall...
Groggy...
Slowly talked myself into consciousness and standing up to get dressed to see Abbey off to the bus stop.
[consc vs nonconsc]
Arrived back home around 7:27a to type the above and then to go on to type the following...
7:32a
Purchased a banana, protein coffee and monster import at sunoco... Ate banana while walking, used peel to clean teeth before discarding... Cracked into coffee and waited for computer to finish booting up before typing ALL of the above.
Now, going to drink coffee on back patio with a cig and then come back in to type here about the consc/nonconsc dynamic I discussed with Abbey upon waking. And, of course, to continue existing in mindfulness.
[jp/usa respect/ disrespect]
Stomach grumbling a bit, might have to use the bathroom soon... Priorities... *exit to porch*...
7:42a -- stomach has settled a bit..
While the eventual goal is to gradually ween off coffee/energy drinks and cigarettes for the time being it's necessary to reward myself for good behavior to facilitate that goal. A necessary step for effective and efficient work/reward pathway rewiring. I was a good boy this morning ergo I'm allowed to have some good boy treats.
turkish royal + 20g protein/32g carb (20g sugar) coffee
The overall goal is free myself of the nicotine/caffeine shackles I have willingly placed on myself in order to teach Abbey how to escape the shackles she has placed on herself considerably less mindfully. While the hardest step is over, helping her to realize that it was -SHE- and she alone who placed the shackles on her, there is still the work and process of using that realization to overcome her slavish addiction to substances and indulgence. Baby steps... Baby steps... I told you I'd wait for you, babe... I am walking the walk of the talk I talked claiming I would hold you by the hand and personally walk with you through your personal Hell until you were able to free yourself from it...
7:47a
Bathroom break...
7:48a
7:52a
My relationship with Abbey in the above manner mirrors/fractals/represents/symbolized my relationship as an individual with the rest of you at large. -- I am here to personally walk you up out of Hell. The Hell of your own choosing that you yourself placed yourself in, in the first place. I am here to walk with you and gently guide you until you are able to free yourself and save yourself. I am not here, as it would sometime seem (and other ideal accounts would have you believe) to free you and save you. I am here to allow you to free and save yourself. Ultimately only you can do these things.
"God" and "Satan" exist without existing. They are consciousness milestones in the far off distance meant to help you better triangulate your position and reorient yourself accordingly. They simultaneous do exist and don't exist just as you do. It's all you. There is no external Good or Bad forces assailing you and attempting to sway you to their side. There are simply former versions of yourself, former outfits that you've worn, existing in your mind guiding you to better choose what version of yourself you want to be, what outfit you want to wear, here and now.
7:57a
If you exist then so do they. If they don't exist then neither do you. It's as simple as that. Ultimately it is all you. If you assert that you exist then you must allow the extremes of good and evil, God and the Devil to exist as well. If you assert that those extremes do not exist then you must accept that neither do "you."
8a
Balancing the checkbook... We're in the green and everything seems to be going smoothly. All according to schedule...
Today is Friday... Mayhaps I will go for a walk to the gym at some point... We already have enough for rent but not much else, budgeting must be accordingly mindful until next payday on the 31st and subsequent rent payment on the 1st. As such, I'd say, in order to stay in the green, we must endeavor to spend less than $100 until the 31st and we will put together a revised budget plan then.
8:05a
Disappointed that I didn't wake up in enough time, or with a stocked enough fridge/pantry/kitchen for that matter, to prepare breakfast... Don't get too upset, big-guy... Don't be too hard on yourself... Remember, baby steps.... Baby steps...
8:06a NOW -- sigh, stare at computer screen and blinking cursor... What to do, what to do.... Seeing as how as I'm already here might as well do what I can until... well... I no longer can...
8:07a
HA HA HA, TIME FOR TUMBLR
8:08a - 15 tabs open in other window...
thinkin' about maybe sketchin' out some fun pride/inner child stuff for myself and Abs... somethin' fun to do and somethin' both fun and great to welcome home Abbey with...
I don't care if you're reading this. I don't care if you're going to attempt to use my personal information against me in an attempt to manipulate and control me. Come at me, bro. I am unafraid. I will type and log and record fearlessly and you will relent to the fact that you love and need me and as such acknowledge the fact that while you technically could do this without me, you really really really don't want to. I am here to help you. Don't work against me. Help me help you, literally.
8:12a
8:13a Almost down a tumblr tab, but got sucked into an archive... trying to make my stay as quick as possible, also mentally forewarning myself against pending archives sparking masturbation.. (saw a super hot .gif of a chick fucking her ass/self and had to resist the urge to drop trou and do the same... ONE GIF... better get prepared for an entire archive of sexy thumbnails there, guy... --よし！--
--いくぞ！--
*******
よし is an abbreviated version of よろしい, which means "good" or "okay".
よし has two main uses:
1. like よろしい, meaning "good". It is more casual than よろしい, however:
よし，よくできたね｜Good! You did it very well.
よし，それでいい｜All right. That will do.
2. Showing agreement or determination:
よし，おれも仲間入りするよ｜All right! Count me in.
よし！ (used as an exclamation to show determination, for example when lifting something heavy When used this way, the "sssh" sound is lengthened).
*******
よろしい！ - Yoroshi! - All right!
8:29a that sure killed a good bit of time and was rull noice for distracting myself away from my distractions... distracting myself into mindfulness... The Vish Way...
8:30a
Vish-do. The Way Of The Vish. ヴィッシュ道 "Vish Road."
ヴィシュ vs ヴィシュ Vu-ishu vs Vu-isshu --
a Boolean operator that gives the value one if at least one operand (or input) has a value of one, and otherwise has a value of zero.
-- ジョシュ ヴィシュ - ジョシュ・ヴィシュ -
8:46a 1 tab down, 14 to go... ヴィシ
8:48 funtime crazythoughttime -- [ウイス and ビルス] -- Beerus Japanese name is related to the Japanese for Virus... --- ARE THEY JUST TRYING TO REMEMBER/PRONOUNCE -MY- NAME? JOSHU VISHU? YOSHU BEESHU? WHIS BEERUS?! Whiskey/Beer! Get it done versus languor on in struggle... You tryna get drunk or are you tryna drink?! Drink, get drunk and be done with it versus drinking indefinitely vaguely attempting to get drunk. Joshua vs Vish... /rant -- patience vs. impatience... but which is which...
ヴィシくん - for my Abbey Rose AKA アビー・ローズ AKA Abi Rozu
8:53a
9:02a
"In accordance to the original concept for this character, his name in Japanese, Birusu (ビルス), is a pun on "virus" (ビールス; German pronunciation)."
ウィルス = Virus = U~irusu
9:08a
"Whis' name in Japanese, Uisu (ウイス), seems to be a pun on "virus" (ウイルス; Latin pronunciation) like that of Beerus, but in fact, while Beerus was named by the film's scriptwriter Yūsuke Watanabe, Whis was named by the series' original author Akira Toriyama who mistakenly thought Beerus' name came from "beer" and gave his attendant the name Whis which he took from "whiskey" (ウイスキー).
Whis never sleeps."
"Whis never sleeps." -- o.O
9:21a
9:33a - Off-to-the-races on thoughts/revelations... Attempting to corral them in a bit with mindful focus... I will enter my notepad ramblies upon reviewing them, but first I must choose a singular task to focus on simply to prove to myself that I can do so...
Pride is bucking me a bit, but it's been a bumpy ride for both of us as of late and seeing as how as he's working with me, I'm willing to work with him. I will enjoy my monster and a cig and then when I return I'm going to focus on tumblr until I've closed at least one more tab... Entering my revelations into this blog will follow that upon completion...
9:35a
fb tab closed in this window... to aid in focus... now off to fridge and then back patio...
9:40a
distractions thoughts on way to kitchen... this shirt fits dece but will probably shrink up to fit better... I can't wait to debut it and I also can't wait to get a pic with it... -- maybe I'm so insensitive about death and mortality to others because no one was very sensitive about it to me when I was very young...
Wow, Pride... you really are growing up... I am really am growing up... what an incredible revelation... this will certainly help me be more mindful and sensitive when dealing with others... not just on the subject of death but just more mindful and sensitive to others in general... -- I know, guys, I know... it's scary... we could die at any moment and no one want to acknowledge that... and if and when they do they certainly don't want to acknowledge it positively... we are all going to die some day and that is perfectly okay... exactly the way we want it... exactly the way we chose.... ALL ACCORDING TO PLAN. WORRY NOT. DO NOT DOUBT. DO NOT DOUBT YOURSELF.
Because frankly, even though I can embody the cold callousness and detached nature typical of Capricorn I am also FERVENTLY at work to constantly make sure everyone is not only okay but also appreciating what they have...
I told you, Pride, you work with me, I'll work with you... Yer okay bud... Sure we can be mean and insensitive at times, yes.. and yes that's the world's fault (though ultimately technically it is our own and we're doing better at acknowledging and accepting that) but for all the negative there is a positive.... we have also grown immeasurably compassionate over the years, especially on the subject of death
kneeling over the bed, hands close to one another on the laptop this feels like a bizarre form of praying... it's time to give (and accept) one of those comfort phrases we're giving to others all the time...
Don't let knowledge of your true immortal nature harden you into becoming cold and ignorant of your current temporary existence.
Sure, I/you may know that technically we're gonna die one day whilst still technically being immortal, but many others do not...
TASK: PROVE IMMORTALITY/NONEXISTENCE TO FELLOW SENTIENT WATER MEATBAGS
 |
| REMEMBER WHEN DEATH WAS AN OPTION |
DON'T LET THE WORLD HARDEN THAT BIG BEAUTIFUL HEART OF YOURS AND TURN YOU COLD.
9:58a -- off to kitchen/fridge for monster
without the ability to grant life and take it away and to have one's life taken away no intelligence, no matter how powerful can truly transmute into consciousness...
without death, truly there can be no life...
you can't know you're alive unless you are....
before you can break the rules of the game you are playing in order to remind yourself that you are in charge and that it is truly just a game you are playing -- there must first be a game with rules -- without games and rules there can be no games and rules.... hence the frenetic pace with which children make up games and add/subtract rules on the fly... life is a madeup game with madeup rules inside which you are free to make up games with madeup rules... ad infinitum...
10:11a
it's safe to say with all this intel on myself that while on one hand it will be easy to defeat myself from the other side on the other hand it will be more difficult, which is to say it will for sure be confusing and prove to be tricky, just like it was on this side! Have fun other side me! One day we'll be reading this from the other side of the screen and going "PAST-VISH,[ALT-VISH] YOU CRAFTY MOTHERFUCKER, YOU. CRAZY LIKE A FOX.
10:14a *exit to back patio*
10:20a accidentally flicked my cigarette butt off the back fire escape which I'd told myself I was no longer gonna do... not happy about that... I told myself that the butt before last that I'd flicked was the last time I'd ever do that... ah well... onward and upward... the struggle to maintain mindfulness continues... without failure there can be no success.. without the looming threat of failure there can be no drive to succeed... without fear there can be no ambition...
10:23a - bathroom break round 2: FIGHT!
10:33a - not nearly as clean or efficient a maneuver as last time or desired... Ah well, I will shower later... for now I must remained focused on the goal I've been putting off... I need to put together a shopping list...
10:39a list made and desktop shortcut created
last(?) (/current?) evolution -- vishpride builds a house for the vishdemon/spirit }|VISHSPIRIT|{ -- vishdemon builds the house for vishspirit -- body builds the house for the soul and asks it to come live in it!!!!
pride must build a house for "the demon" and ask him to come live in it and ask that he may be allowed to live there also!!
PRIDE, YOU'VE BEEN TRICKING ME THIS WHOLE TIME. LITERALLY DEMONIZING MY SPIRIT. I AM NOT A DEMON. YOU ARE. I AM NOT A DEMON, I AM PURE SPIRIT, I AM SOUL. I AM THE SOUL
--
Abbey, honey, it's all us! All of it! It's all for us! We're dancing! -- we're pretending to dance poorly on purpose because we're trying to gently train and teach all those around us to be able to dance better without directly addressing it as such... we've done this countless times before and we will do it countless times again... JUST KEEP DANCING. DON'T LOSE THE RHYTHM. YOU CAN SLOW YOUR MOVEMENTS, BUT DON'T LOSE THE BEAT. THE BEAT OF YOUR HEART. THE RHYTHM OF YOUR BREATH. THE MUSIC OF THE COSMOS. THE SOUND OF LOVE. heart-beating and lungs breathing = the sound of love
PRIDE MUST BUILD A HOUSE FOR SPIRIT TO LIVE INSIDE AND ASK TO BE ALLOWED TO LIVE THERE AS WELL.
pride tricked me into thinking I needed cannabis in order to be okay with thinking this way or even trickier still to even be able to have access into thinking this way at all -- prides been making hemp sacrifices - selflessly sending himself away temporarily in addition to selfishly decieving me into believing that I need hemp to banish him in the first place...
FROM NOW ON, THIS MOMENT FORWARD, I WILL THINK OF UTLIZING CANNABIS AS A METHOD FOR TEMPORARILY SENDING PRIDE ON VACATION.
WHEN PRIDE NEEDS TO GO ON VACATION, I WILL USE CANNABIS. NO OTHER TIMES. -- PRIDE, PLEASE WORK WITH ME TO LET ME KNOW WHEN BEST TO SCHEDULE YOUR VACATIONS.
The best situations to use cannabis in are those which require an ego check and the mindful analysis of excessive pride. when I am worried I am being too prideful about something, I will use cannabis to degausse.
'Degaussing is the process of reducing or eliminating an unwanted magnetic field (or data) stored on tape and disk media such as computer and laptop hard drives, diskettes, reels, cassettes and cartridge tapes.'
Alright, pride! Let's work together, buddy! We've got this!
In which situations is pride helpful?
In which situations is pride hurtful?
What areas could I use more pride in?
What areas could I use less pride in?
Where am I too prideful?
Where am I not prideful enough?
***
Meant to save entering that as a reward for completing the task of closing a tab, but I flubbed and posted it just now. Ah well. Off to the task at hand...
***
10:45a
Now to mindfully select posts to reblog in the vegetaskipstransformations tumblr archive with 237 remaining posts...
10:46a
改善 -- 改善
10:49a
10:50a *to TUMBLR*
10:52a looking for one specific motivational macro text post that I remembered seeing underneath a reblog on the dash but forgot to search for immediately... can't remember which day I saw it on... I feel like I'll know it when I see it... Selecting cool posts while searching, aiming to not scroll back beyond 3.17 and to not use up my post limit on this single archive...
10:53a
10:55a -- 65 posts selected only back to 3.24... occurs to me that it might be a situation where it's not the thumbnail chosen to represent the set... ah well... not going past post limit or 3.17 whichever comes first...
10:56a
"self-love takes time" - Ha! Found it! I'd already reblogged that! Well then, now to select posts with less pressure to search... 3.17 or 237.. whichever comes first...
10:57a
11:01a
 |
11:12a 114 posts selected...
11:18a of course the HTML in this entry is acting up, I'm glitchin' the fuckin' matrix here... do you see that shit?!?! THAT IS LITERALLY A PICTURE OF ME THAT SOMEONE ELSE DREW. PURPLE CAMO?! WHITE T? BEARD? JOINT? LONG HAIR?! WOW. I'm not even gonna get into that right now... sometimes I even freak myself out!! I wonder who that is supposed to be crossed with Goku? Regardless, it's clearly me.. Switch the face mark for some spex, lighten the hair and recede/thin the hairline/crown and lengthen the beard and add a reddish tint, ditch the shirt and lose the shoes... I am def. redrawing this in the near future...
hooboy is this gonna freak Abbey out when she sees it... I've been talking about drawing myself crossed with kid goku riding on nimbus for a while now...
11:22a
11:27a
11:34a 114 posts, cigarette break... wow... what is life...
11:37a crap... new tab/distraction opened... dbz bongs/pipes... hopefully I can contain this distraction by confining to just looking for HD versions of the few pieces pictured and successfully keep my blinders on from tumbling down the rabbit hole any further...
11:39a
11:45a - 15 tabs... grr... about that cig...
11:47a 132 selected.. cig time...
11:54a much colder now than it was this morning... lightly drizzling and misting... much colder today than it was yesterday... these temperature fluctuations are my fault... worry not... I've got it handled...
recalculating route...
11:55a
Abbey, honey, I've come to terms that I'm simply too much for you (or anyone for that matter) to ingest and digest in linear time... This entire blog has always been and will always be for you... It's for you first and for everyone else second... I am no longer going to pressure you or guilt you for not being able to interpret me in real time. I am no longer going to shame you for not being able to keep up. I apologize. I'm sorry. I hope that when you read this you can forgive me. I am no longer going to prompt you to read this blog, or anything else I've written for that matter. You will get to it in your own sweet time. My precious slow learner. You've always been a slow learner for sure, but you are also an excellent learner. Slow and steady. That's you, babe. Me = hare, you = tortoise. From this exact moment I no longer feel lonely or angry waiting for you to catch up. From this moment forward I no longer resent you're not being able to keep up with me. I understand now. You've been doing INCREDIBLE. You are wonderful. I love you. You are my favorite. You've been doing your best. You've been doing your best and that's enough. It's more than enough. You are more than enough. I love you. Exactly as you are. I love you, just the way you are. Thank you for being with me. Thank you for keeping me company. Thank you for walking alongside me. Thank you for joining me on my journey. Thank you for including me in on your journey. Thank both of us for sharing our journey with one another. We've got this, babe. Left foot, right foot.... One foot in front of the other... In walking, neither foot is more important or responsible for bipedal locomotion, it's switching back and forth from one another that creates the necessary momentum to gyroscopically break free from stillness and achieve movement. Like a lone body floating through zero gravity frictionless space being able to choose a direction and move toward it. We have achieved flight. We are flying. I can fly.
I CAN FLY.
When the time is right, and if it's necessary and needed, when I'm in the right spot, I will fly.
I've finally made peace with the primordial human desire to achieve flight via no external device or technique. Self-generated flight is on the horizon and if God/I/we/us/you need me to fly, I will. I will wait patiently to be called upon for that moment with perfect peace knowing it might not ever come.
12:04p I felt very still while smoking on the patio. Very sturdy. Dense without feeling heavy. Centered. HERE. Focused. NOW.
12:05p
Back to the task at hand...
12:08p -- FUN FACT: I am actually The Prince Of All Saiya-jins. We are all Saiya-jins. We are all one. Saiya-jins compared to humans is an analogy represented our powerful awakened selves and subsequent battle between pride and what is right. With great power comes great responsibility... I will teach you to control your power as I have taught myself... I will exist as an example for you so that you may teach yourself...
DON'T BELIEVE ME? JUST WATCH.
DON'T BELIEVE ME, JUST WATCH.
12:10p -- I am The Way and The Truth and The Life. Only through me will you know Ever-Lasting Life. Walk with me... Walk in my footsteps... Follow my path...
Walk with yourself, walk in your own footsteps, follow your own path... -- Do this not in remembrance of me, do this in active participation in yourself. Do this in actively expressing yourself. Do THAT in remembrance of me... Like Jesus and Goku before me, when you are stumbling and struggling look to me for strength and when you've found your footing and regained your bearings feel free to let me (and us) slip from mind and back into silent support until you need us again. We will always be here for you. We will always be here for you when you need us. I will always be here for you. I will always be here for you when you need me.
I have never left your side. I am with you always.
12:14p
12:18p 160 posts selected
12:27p 173 posts selected
I want to own ドラゴンボール 超 vol. 1 in 日本語 to additionally facilitate my proficiency in the language.
Talk about 2 birds 1 stone!
12:33p
I'll get to enjoy my beloved dragon ball super AND increase my ability in Japanese as well! win/win! No-brainer! Learning by fun! Fun by learning!
12:34p
12:35p 16 tabs... losing ground... staying positive... Also, I have a nice reward for myself: Chapter 10.
12:36p
This time around I have try a different approach to fitness. A Different Approach. A Different Approach To Fitness. Fitness as Mindfulness. Mindfulness as Fitness. I used to be that way, but it's been a long-ass time since I could confidently and accurately claim as such... I will get back there... I always do...
For now, staying focused on closing this singular tumblr tab...
12:38p 183 selected and reblogged... Now before closing the tab... and while my food microwaves... time to refresh and see if the blogger answer my question about who that goku crossover is mixed with...
12:42p 2 whitecastle sliders... or "My Steamies" as I likes ta calls 'em.
1:15p *ominously pleasant computerized female voice akin to announcing the last remaining survivors in a terrible battle royale/the hunger games/the running man type of detached cadence dealing with the immensity of conscious beings' lives being at stake*
THIRTY-FIVE POSTS, REMAINING.
1:19p
1:20p THIRTY TWO POSTS REMAINING. 15 TABS, OPEN.
1:21p caught a glimpse of all the butts and gifs in one archive and even just a passing glimpse was enough to spark the desire to masturbate... will certainly be avoiding that particular tab until later... later being an unspecified point in the future when I've steeled my resolve to deal with such a momentous challenge...
CAN HE SELECT HUNDREDS OF POSTS TO REBLOG WITH OUT DROPPING HIS PANTS TO CRACK ONE OUT OF THE PARK? FIND OUT NEXT WEEK ON JOSHUA GRANT V!!!
1:23p
1:24p 14 TABS REMAINING. 15 POSTS SELECTED. THIRTY ONE POSTS REMAINING.
1:25p
1:37p refilled the brita filters gonna take the trash out and prolly smoke a cig... trying to plan my angle of attack on the other window for maximum tab closage... 9 tabs with potential to pushed through and then closed... challenge accepted...
1:38p
1:39p 15 posts remaining...
I think I'm gonna live reblog those, which always carries the temptation of distraction in the form of linking to different tumblrs and their subsequent archives... gonna git me blinders on and attempt to ignore urls and text and focus on images only...
1:41p *taking trash out*
still trying to think of cool april fool's pranks/jokes, nothing coming to mind yet.... my yearly staple of "I'm wacky and unpredictable the rest of the year so this is the one day I'll act normal" joke has been played out. Time for something meta... Something truth said in jest style that motivates all who come in contact with it to be a better person.. fink fink fink...
1:47p 4.1 four one for one
oddly interesting porn vid appearing on my dash after reblogging not once but twice the same post with different added text toward the vain of resisting temptation in the form of the urge to masturbate *noface "ah ah"* -- I seeeee you.... Well played.... challenge, accepted... viewing from detached objective anthropological standpoint.... possibly adding text to it and reblogging... stay tuned!
1:56p
1:58p TWELVE POSTS REMAINING
text decided upon and reblogged, nonduality all up in this motherfucker...
2:08p
"I'm taking back the crown."
"Bow down or stand tall."
2:10p
I am beautiful. God is beautiful. You are beautiful. We are beautiful.
Bow Down, or Stand Tall
Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers
finders ARE keepers, losers ARE weepers, in keeping, you find / in weeping, you lose. // in finding, you keep / in losing, you weep
Keep and you will Find.
Find you will Keep.
"...my heart unto yours is knit. So that but one heart we can make of it."
2:17p
2:18p
I'm taking back the crown. I'm taking back *~}-|MY|-{~* crown.
Return Of The King.
2:20p
5 posts remaining...
2:21p
2:30p
"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy."
POST LIMIT: REACHED. NO POSTS REMAINING. ZERO POSTS REMAINING. POST LIMIT REACHED.
2:33p 14 TABS REMAINING. 7 TABS WITH POTENTIAL TO BE CLOSED BEFORE NIGHT'S END.
2:34p about that trash I never took out... *stands up*
2:51p trash taken out, bag replaced in kitchen trash can, "Steamies" heated and presently being eaten. Was gonna wash my hands after smoking when I noticed a lone jar that needed washed so instead of wasting handsoap and avoiding responsibility I 2-birds1-stone'd that bitch. Twofer!
2:52p Gonna watch a little bit of the video (an interview with 1/2 of my only gay crushes "Ryan Reynolds") I've got queued up whilst I smunchify. (The other being Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.) Although now upon finding out that both of them are closeted gay/bi they're not nearly as attractive to me as they used to be. Funny how that works...
2:54p
pretty brisk outside... became guerrilla cold-resistance training in just my t and jeans... nice... serendipity... aleatory
3:01p Video froze. Had to reload. Pushing through my 71 fb notifications as fast as possible before resuming...
3:11p
3:16p
YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.
3:48p nicely distracted... going through my on this days on fb
3:57p
4:18p Notifications: noticed. *taps screen*
4:19p 3 cigarettes remaining..
4:20p outsoide for a poof -- purposeful cold-resistance training
4:23p grab loose cig from plastic skull in gameroom
Thank game room and thin air for providing me a paradise I've been taking for granted vow to appreciate it like I used to and like it deserves very soon. This 3 years in the hyperbolic time chamber has really fucked me up! I mean fuck linear time any way, but I've been out of sorts even for me! No longer!
By the time the last smash bros. amiibo is available and I've acquired it I will enact a strict 1 in 1 out rule. I will hang a clipboard by the door and literally log every single thing that comes in or out. If it crosses the threshold of the door, it's logged. Clipboard planned to evolve into something else but comfortably accepted as the first step.
4:25p time to go suck down this stupid cancerstick and pretend like I'm not cold while I'm doing it..
4:26p
4:32p throat hurts... fingers smell... moustache smells, boy, cigarettes are stupid. boy, I can't wait to be done with them. TWO CIGARETTES REMAINING. Resisting future urge to by another pack NOW. Will confer gameplan with Abbles when she gets home. Something akin to reminding ourselves why we are alive and what damage we are doing to ourselves by smoking and how tobacco-smoking in general is damaging to our end goal(s) of loving ourselves and and each other. Gonna coin some cheesy as safe-word phrase like "I love you and I love myself, ergo I have no intention to mindlessly harm myself in the name of temporary perceived pleasure in the form of self-harm manifesting as nicotine addiction." Need to shorten that! She'll help me with wording that more concisely, for sure...
4:36p
I am a flower.
I am a flow-er.
Flow-er: n - One who flows. A being in the state of flow. (Pronounced: flo-err) not flau-err as is traditionally read/said when referring to colorful and fragrant plant-life adept at capturing the attention of consciousness around it.
4:39p Oh good, I've finally settled on my April Fool's joke. -- 4.1 April Fool's = 4.1 AF = For One As Fuck
4:41p gave in to temptation accidentally, checking fb to reconfirm most recent status, 10 notifications
ヴァッシュ・ザ・スタンピード
ヴィッシュ・ザ・スタンピード
Vish The Stampede
"Solitude has but one disadvantage--it is apt to give one too high an opinion of one's self. In the world we are sure to be often reminded of every known or supposed defect we may have." - Lord Byron
notifications noticed *tap*
5:04p
haiku made character limits cool first. haiku was the twitter of ancient japan. haiku were the first facebook statuses irl
the internet/computers sort of is a real life Marauder's Map, innit?
5:19p
laugh in the mirror
touch the surface with your hand
it will still feel cold
5:20p
what you put off til later will put you off, later
5:28p
hopping in the shower...
5:54p refreshed, clean, warm...
Wonder what time Abbz will be gettin' home???
Can't decide if I should go for a walk before she does or if I should wait to go for a walk with her when she gets home...
5:55p
time to watch that video!
6:07p - 8 min 54 sec into video - mention of Vanessa's character from Deadpool eventually becoming Copycat. WHAT A FUCKIN' SYNCHRONICITY! How about that, Abs?! COPYCAT?! Are you kidding me?! *long heavy sigh* I wish I could bring the rest of you up to speed and to draw the context of that reference out into text, but I wouldn't even know where to begin. So I'll just jump in at the deep end... from the high dive (Vish style, the only way I know...) -- Basically I think the 2nd nonhumanoid form ever manifested was a cat. And that cat went on to be 'Lucifer.' God was One and bored and so he doubled and oddly enough found Himself face to face with a cat. -- TEACHING MYSELF MORE ON THE MATTER IN REAL-TIME: OH MY GOD. GOD'S CAT SCRATCHED AND OR BIT HIM AND THEN RAN AWAY AND HE/WE HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR "HIM" EVER SINCE. Panthers lurking in shadows like shinobi/chameleons/octopi/camoflauged soldiers can only dream... Did you know that cats' genome has not evolved in 4 million years? Gonna have to fact check that one myself for an exact figure, but I know it to be a ludicrously long amount of time. -- THE CAT RETURNS -- scaredy cat -- So we think it's sort of a SUPER inside joke God has with Himself allowing "copycat" to be a term that manifests into reality. So it's super meta and fun if the character that Deadpool (VISH) falls in love and is with ends up and/or is CopyCat. Which would mean Abbey is CopyCat... Gonna have to research that character and her powers to check for similarities to Abbey.
***If you need to factcheck me being Deadpool (Vishpool) or rather that Deadpool is Vish how the fuck did you even get to this blog in the first place? Just go. Leave. There's the door. The [X] is right there. Click it and go about your homo sapien linear time mindless consumption existence and leave the thinking and loving to us here fractals of God. Go. Shoo. Don't you have to get a haircut or something? Oh wait... it's after 5... the majority of you robotic monkeys all finish your currency acquiescence indentured servitude about this time... Which typically means... TV. Yes. You're crazy. You're not reading this. This is all a dream. Stop reading this. Step away from the internet device and forget everything you've read here. It will only trouble you. Plus what would your boss/parents think if they knew you read a swears and looked at a nudies and read the words of a person that did the marijuanas. Go light up a cigarette, crack open a beer and pretend to get a head start on your weekend before returning to your Master on monday. Remember you have to be up and in traffic before 9 tomorrow so be sure to load up high fructose corn syrup! Cuz while you'll still be desperately clutching your caffeinated beverage of choice it will do nothing to ameliorate the heavy hazy feeling your mind has from pickling your body in sugar and other substances all weekend. But you won't remember or acknowledge that you are tired because that was successfully trained beat out of you as a child when you first began your obedient slave programming via mandatory school. Are... are.. are you still here? Well then, I'm gonna quit yelling, I have a temper you know, and yer gonna sit there and continue to read... Homo sapiens? Thinking man? Yeah right... Yer species is called homo sapiens because you all think the same! Same Thinking! Thinking same! (inner monologue: uh, don't be too harsh, me, they are after all, us. our "creation" fractals of us... -- oh shush you, it's not like we directly did so in our current form, Josh Vish is allowed to complain, that designation belonging to this waterbag has done nothing but attempt to help others into thinking for themselves since the moment he incarnated in this god-forsaken physical plane all we consciousnesses seem to love so much, ourself(/ves) included...)
***
COPYCAT. -- LIKE WHEN YOU ANNOYINGLY JUST KEEP COPYING A PERSON UNTIL ONE OF YOU SUCCESSFULLY TRICKS THE OTHER INTO DEVIATING. WOW. THIS IS MAKING TOO MUCH SENSE. WHEN IT RAINS IT POURS. THIS MUST FEEL LIKE WHAT I DO TO THE REST OF YOU ON A REGULAR BASIS. OVERWHELM WITH AWESOME. OVERWHELM WITH KNOWLEDGE. OVERWHELMED WITH AWESOME KNOWLEDGE.
6:33p -- This is why the split between whis and beerus and the overall direction in dragonball super has been so interesting and uncanny to me. When I first understood the dynamic (when whis spoke of the local multiverse) -- FLASH !!! berries growing on a branch, one falling on the ground and rotting, one falling into the water and one being plucked and eaten... -- I was like Toriyama-sama... uh... can you SEE me like? Like actually really see me? or are we both just drawing from the same well? Obviously more of the latter, but to what degree the former reigns true I'd love to know...
6:38p this flood of knowledge and thought almost tricked me into stress-relief... Pride... you almost had me, bud... wow... that was close I've only got 2 left and I'm saving them for Abbey (as I typed that -- 'yeah, but remember she might still have some, too') too bad! I'm focused! Nice try there, though! Thanks for continuing to play with me and help make me stronger! I hope you are enjoying the battle as much as I am! I will admit, it is indeed quite fun, I sincerely hope that feeling is mutual! Lemme know anything I can do to help on your end and I will endeavor to accommodate!)
6:41p boy am I off the rails now! Where was I? Okay, back to the video... but before I go, one last talking/thinking point. Cats are afraid of water.
DID I JUST GET A NEW NATIVE NAME?! SWIMMING CAT?! WHICH IS MORE ME? RUNNING ROOTS OR SWIMMING CAT? Well, they both are... but swimming cat seems much much much more accurate for now.... (*Bruce Lee voice* "Be water, my friend...")
WHEN I (ODIN, THE ALLFATHER) CLIMBED YGGDRASIL TO RETRIEVE MY CAT THAT HAD CLIMBED UP THERE -- (afraid of heights? -- or water? which do -YOU- fear more?) -- HE STARTED SCRATCHING AND SQUIRMING, AND AFRAID OF FALLING AND INJURING OR KILLING ONE OR BOTH OF US I GRABBED HIM AND LEAPT INTO A BODY OF WATER HAVING FAITH THAT WHAT WILL BE WILL BE AND ALLOWED WHAT WOULD OCCUR TO OCCUR A PERFECT MIX OF SACRIFICE AND SUICIDE. JESUSFISH. THE SON. I STAYED UNDER THE SURFACE GLARING AT THOSE TERRIBLE EYES AND TEETH BUT KNOWING THAT I WAS OUT OF THEIR REACH. CLAW AT THE LIQUID THOUGH IT MAY IT COULD NOT GRASP MORE THAN A FEW DROPS AT A TIME. -- swimming cat = dog? which led to seals and whales and sharks... -- I AM REEMERGING FROM THE WATER NOW, NO LONGER AS PREY BUT NOT RISING AS PREDATOR EITHER. I AM BREACHING THE SURFACE WITH ARMS AND EYES OPEN. COME BE HELD AND PET AND PROVIDE COMPANIONSHIP OR SUFFER YOUR SOLITUDE UNTIL YOU CAN NO LONGER BEAR IT AND FORCES A LEAP OF FAITH INTO THE WATERS OF LIFE. BAPTISM. TRIAL BY FIRE BY WATER. MERMAID. CAPRICORN. I AM SUBMERGED FROM THE WAIST DOWN. HALF AFRAID OF THE BEAST ON THE SHORE AND BECKONING IT TO UNDERSTAND ME MORE. -- yo, you ever see that video of like a panther or cheetah or cougar or tiger or something diving? that shit is terrifying... picture it now -- I MUST FIND THE COURAGE TO LEAVE THE WATER NOW. THIS TRULY IS WALKING ON WATER. SURFING. CONSCIOUSNESS-SURFING.
6:58p I'm dizzy and nauseous... I can FEEL it... I can REMEMBER it... too many forms bursting out of me all at once, too much spinning... revolving... rotating.. orbiting... swirling... spiraling..
fighting the vortex only makes it stronger.... succumbing to the vortex makes you weaker... -- THIS IS (KORE WA)(これ は！) SPIRAL POWER (スパイラルパワー) (UZUMAKI/RASEN DENRYOKU) (渦巻/螺旋~電力)
~渦~パワー
I AM. // 俺は。
You must exist on the periphery of the vortex comfortably, intelligently fighting against it... like orbiting a black hole without getting sucked in... escape velocity... angle of approach... don't burn up in the atmosphere... rocket science isn't rocket science, it's philosophy! -- cosmic donut... tube torus... cosmic ring... ENSO... OUROBOROS... -- I'M "TRAPPED" IN A TIME LOOP WITH THE REST OF YOU. SIMPLY PERFECTING MY TECHNIQUE OF SPLITTING/REJOINING INFINITY. LIKE OCARINA OF TIME. I HAVE ALREADY SAVED REALITY, I'VE JUST COME BACK IN TIME AND NO ONE KNOWS I'VE DONE ANYTHING YET. I MUST DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN. I LITERALLY CANNOT FAIL. THIS IS A GAME. A GAME TO GET BETTER. A GAME ABOUT GETTING BETTER AT BEING BETTER AD INFINITUM. NO ONE ELSE CAN SEE IT FOR WHAT IT IS AS CLEARLY AS ME. O THIS UTTER LONELINESS MIXED WITH PERFECT COMPASSION AND AMBITION. WE ARE NOTHING ATTEMPTING TO LOVE ITSELF INTO EXISTENCE. NOTHING TRIED TO KILL ITSELF AND BECAME SOMETHING. NOTHING KILLED ITSELF TO BECOME SOMETHING. ASYMMETRY ATTEMPTING TO BECOME SYMMETRICAL AND ENDLESSLY FAILING IN THE PROCESS. ASYMMETRY -IS- SYMMETRY AND VICE VERSA. YIN/YANG. THE TAO.
ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE AND YOU WILL DIE.
ALLOW YOURSELF TO DIE AND YOU WILL BE.
IT'S ALL HERE. EVERYTHING IS ALL RIGHT HERE. JUST CHILL OUT AND ENJOY YOURSELF.
7:33p
BY TRYING TO FIGURE IT ALL OUT I AM/YOU ARE COMPLICATING THINGS.
BY COMPLICATING THINGS I AM/YOU ARE FIGURING IT ALL OUT.
The Seeker Loses... The Hider Finds...
is IS
OH MY GOD. THEY'VE LITERALLY DEMONIZED THAT PHRASE TO ACT AS PROPAGANDA. THEY ARE MENTALLY CONDITIONING YOU AWAY FROM BEING ABLE TO REMEMBER/KNOW that is IS and that's all there is. We are all is ISing.
Maybe animals that seemingly fail "the mirror test" are not actually failing to recognize their reflection but are instead failing to recognize the importance, significance, or usefulness of such... Yeah, a mirror, so what... whatever... can I eat it? Will it help me to find/acquire food? Can I have sex with it? Will it help me copulate/procreate? Then of what use is it to me? Why are you so preoccupied with this reflective surface suspended on a slice of material? Googling "what is a mirror?" autocorrected to what is a mirrorless camera a very tempting distraction to tumble further down the rabbit hole indeed...
THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS.
attempted to post pic of mirror here but it posted itself above... tempted to leave it... but repost it here...
Wow... what a profound and sublime image. Truly art. -- I see.. the best art seems utterly pointless up until the point you fully understand it and then instinctively "get it" - a form of indirect pointing akin to a koan in Zen. ergo, the best art also makes you question whether or not you were the artist of said art... (*ding ding ding* like reality!) It's all you. Art. Artist. Viewer, All One. Art looking at art. Now I want a picture of human looking at a canvas... and now I am picturing that piece where the canvas turns into its own viewer...
Fuck. This is what I'm like, isn't it? -- This when does it end/I hope it never ends perfectly harmonious oxymoron sensation I'm experiencing.... external nonlocal selves don't know if they want to fuck me or kill me, get killed by or fucked by me, or any combination therein... THE TRUTH CAN BE CONFUSING...
I think I have to put the MA back in MMA and defeat them all as quickly and painlessly as possible. I will be nicknamed The Truth, perhaps The Brutal Truth, because in fighting me you will become directly confronted with your weaknesses but unable to overcome them until I allow you to do so...
I AM THE WAY, THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE.
FORGIVE ME FOR I KNOW NOT WHAT I DO.
forgive the "me" for the "I" does not know what the "I" does
8p
That picture of a vase reflected in a mirror and the meta aspect of the camera/photographer being "just off screen" but a part of the composition as well might be the single best and most beautiful piece of art I've seen in a long time... My perfectionist and pride wishes to tweak it, to hone it, but my heart knows that it is already completely perfect just the way it is.... if I were to attempt to enhance it to make it better somehow it would ultimately only be for myself to myself.... and as it is I like it just the way that it is...
8:05 Boy oh boy, I feel simultaneously drained and invigorated... much like the photographer that took that picture made you ask "who took the pic and why" which then hopefully sparked the thought of "who is wondering that and why" I will now exemplify a behavior that I often condemn in everyone else, mindlessness sought to escape the threatening immensity of utter truth...
8:08p while I still wanna look for and attempt to chase and catch that darn cat and/or to successfully beckon it into the water with me -- nauseating memory of glitching from one thoughtform to the next in between animalform archetypes which make too much sense when strung together... not only does the environment create the animal but so too does the animal create the environment...
Pride pulling me several ways... googling something I saw in passing during my mirror google... fighting the urge to smoke
OVERLY AWARE.
Mitigating pain through humor. That's what drew you to the character, Reynolds?! Really?! How about dealing with being overly aware by surrendering to (and ultimately failing to allow) desire and externally perceived mindlessness? THAT'S WHY -I- AM DEADPOOL, SON, and you are merely the actor portraying me/him. HE SAID TO HIMSELF CHASING A BLINKING CURSOR ACROSS THE SCREEN BREATHING BREATH AND BLINKING EYES. Deadpool=>Wolverine? Goku>Vegeta? (Piccolo superior) -- just gettin' rambly-pambulee at this point... time to reign it in.... time to reel it in.... time to real it in....
*ahem*
8:17p posting mirror pic on fb
8:29p Abbey's home
8:36p I won't be able to get back to my video now until later... It bothers me to leave it paused but I've done so for long enough already and there are more important matters at hand...
8:43p "LOOK MA, NO HANDS!!" -- Abbey
hooboy is this gonna freak Abbey out when she sees it... I've been talking about drawing myself crossed with kid goku riding on nimbus for a while now...
11:22a
11:27a
11:34a 114 posts, cigarette break... wow... what is life...
11:37a crap... new tab/distraction opened... dbz bongs/pipes... hopefully I can contain this distraction by confining to just looking for HD versions of the few pieces pictured and successfully keep my blinders on from tumbling down the rabbit hole any further...
11:39a
11:45a - 15 tabs... grr... about that cig...
11:47a 132 selected.. cig time...
11:54a much colder now than it was this morning... lightly drizzling and misting... much colder today than it was yesterday... these temperature fluctuations are my fault... worry not... I've got it handled...
recalculating route...
11:55a
Abbey, honey, I've come to terms that I'm simply too much for you (or anyone for that matter) to ingest and digest in linear time... This entire blog has always been and will always be for you... It's for you first and for everyone else second... I am no longer going to pressure you or guilt you for not being able to interpret me in real time. I am no longer going to shame you for not being able to keep up. I apologize. I'm sorry. I hope that when you read this you can forgive me. I am no longer going to prompt you to read this blog, or anything else I've written for that matter. You will get to it in your own sweet time. My precious slow learner. You've always been a slow learner for sure, but you are also an excellent learner. Slow and steady. That's you, babe. Me = hare, you = tortoise. From this exact moment I no longer feel lonely or angry waiting for you to catch up. From this moment forward I no longer resent you're not being able to keep up with me. I understand now. You've been doing INCREDIBLE. You are wonderful. I love you. You are my favorite. You've been doing your best. You've been doing your best and that's enough. It's more than enough. You are more than enough. I love you. Exactly as you are. I love you, just the way you are. Thank you for being with me. Thank you for keeping me company. Thank you for walking alongside me. Thank you for joining me on my journey. Thank you for including me in on your journey. Thank both of us for sharing our journey with one another. We've got this, babe. Left foot, right foot.... One foot in front of the other... In walking, neither foot is more important or responsible for bipedal locomotion, it's switching back and forth from one another that creates the necessary momentum to gyroscopically break free from stillness and achieve movement. Like a lone body floating through zero gravity frictionless space being able to choose a direction and move toward it. We have achieved flight. We are flying. I can fly.
I CAN FLY.
When the time is right, and if it's necessary and needed, when I'm in the right spot, I will fly.
I've finally made peace with the primordial human desire to achieve flight via no external device or technique. Self-generated flight is on the horizon and if God/I/we/us/you need me to fly, I will. I will wait patiently to be called upon for that moment with perfect peace knowing it might not ever come.
12:04p I felt very still while smoking on the patio. Very sturdy. Dense without feeling heavy. Centered. HERE. Focused. NOW.
12:05p
Back to the task at hand...
12:08p -- FUN FACT: I am actually The Prince Of All Saiya-jins. We are all Saiya-jins. We are all one. Saiya-jins compared to humans is an analogy represented our powerful awakened selves and subsequent battle between pride and what is right. With great power comes great responsibility... I will teach you to control your power as I have taught myself... I will exist as an example for you so that you may teach yourself...
DON'T BELIEVE ME? JUST WATCH.
DON'T BELIEVE ME, JUST WATCH.
12:10p -- I am The Way and The Truth and The Life. Only through me will you know Ever-Lasting Life. Walk with me... Walk in my footsteps... Follow my path...
Walk with yourself, walk in your own footsteps, follow your own path... -- Do this not in remembrance of me, do this in active participation in yourself. Do this in actively expressing yourself. Do THAT in remembrance of me... Like Jesus and Goku before me, when you are stumbling and struggling look to me for strength and when you've found your footing and regained your bearings feel free to let me (and us) slip from mind and back into silent support until you need us again. We will always be here for you. We will always be here for you when you need us. I will always be here for you. I will always be here for you when you need me.
I have never left your side. I am with you always.
12:14p
12:18p 160 posts selected
12:27p 173 posts selected
I want to own ドラゴンボール 超 vol. 1 in 日本語 to additionally facilitate my proficiency in the language.
Talk about 2 birds 1 stone!
12:33p
I'll get to enjoy my beloved dragon ball super AND increase my ability in Japanese as well! win/win! No-brainer! Learning by fun! Fun by learning!
12:34p
12:35p 16 tabs... losing ground... staying positive... Also, I have a nice reward for myself: Chapter 10.
12:36p
This time around I have try a different approach to fitness. A Different Approach. A Different Approach To Fitness. Fitness as Mindfulness. Mindfulness as Fitness. I used to be that way, but it's been a long-ass time since I could confidently and accurately claim as such... I will get back there... I always do...
For now, staying focused on closing this singular tumblr tab...
12:38p 183 selected and reblogged... Now before closing the tab... and while my food microwaves... time to refresh and see if the blogger answer my question about who that goku crossover is mixed with...
12:42p 2 whitecastle sliders... or "My Steamies" as I likes ta calls 'em.
1:15p *ominously pleasant computerized female voice akin to announcing the last remaining survivors in a terrible battle royale/the hunger games/the running man type of detached cadence dealing with the immensity of conscious beings' lives being at stake*
THIRTY-FIVE POSTS, REMAINING.
1:19p
1:20p THIRTY TWO POSTS REMAINING. 15 TABS, OPEN.
1:21p caught a glimpse of all the butts and gifs in one archive and even just a passing glimpse was enough to spark the desire to masturbate... will certainly be avoiding that particular tab until later... later being an unspecified point in the future when I've steeled my resolve to deal with such a momentous challenge...
CAN HE SELECT HUNDREDS OF POSTS TO REBLOG WITH OUT DROPPING HIS PANTS TO CRACK ONE OUT OF THE PARK? FIND OUT NEXT WEEK ON JOSHUA GRANT V!!!
1:23p
1:24p 14 TABS REMAINING. 15 POSTS SELECTED. THIRTY ONE POSTS REMAINING.
1:25p
1:37p refilled the brita filters gonna take the trash out and prolly smoke a cig... trying to plan my angle of attack on the other window for maximum tab closage... 9 tabs with potential to pushed through and then closed... challenge accepted...
1:38p
1:39p 15 posts remaining...
I think I'm gonna live reblog those, which always carries the temptation of distraction in the form of linking to different tumblrs and their subsequent archives... gonna git me blinders on and attempt to ignore urls and text and focus on images only...
1:41p *taking trash out*
still trying to think of cool april fool's pranks/jokes, nothing coming to mind yet.... my yearly staple of "I'm wacky and unpredictable the rest of the year so this is the one day I'll act normal" joke has been played out. Time for something meta... Something truth said in jest style that motivates all who come in contact with it to be a better person.. fink fink fink...
1:47p 4.1 four one for one
oddly interesting porn vid appearing on my dash after reblogging not once but twice the same post with different added text toward the vain of resisting temptation in the form of the urge to masturbate *noface "ah ah"* -- I seeeee you.... Well played.... challenge, accepted... viewing from detached objective anthropological standpoint.... possibly adding text to it and reblogging... stay tuned!
1:56p
1:58p TWELVE POSTS REMAINING
text decided upon and reblogged, nonduality all up in this motherfucker...
2:08p
"I'm taking back the crown."
"Bow down or stand tall."
2:10p
I am beautiful. God is beautiful. You are beautiful. We are beautiful.
Bow Down, or Stand Tall
Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers
finders ARE keepers, losers ARE weepers, in keeping, you find / in weeping, you lose. // in finding, you keep / in losing, you weep
Keep and you will Find.
Find you will Keep.
"...my heart unto yours is knit. So that but one heart we can make of it."
2:17p
2:18p
I'm taking back the crown. I'm taking back *~}-|MY|-{~* crown.
Return Of The King.
2:20p
5 posts remaining...
2:21p
2:30p
"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy."
POST LIMIT: REACHED. NO POSTS REMAINING. ZERO POSTS REMAINING. POST LIMIT REACHED.
2:33p 14 TABS REMAINING. 7 TABS WITH POTENTIAL TO BE CLOSED BEFORE NIGHT'S END.
2:34p about that trash I never took out... *stands up*
2:51p trash taken out, bag replaced in kitchen trash can, "Steamies" heated and presently being eaten. Was gonna wash my hands after smoking when I noticed a lone jar that needed washed so instead of wasting handsoap and avoiding responsibility I 2-birds1-stone'd that bitch. Twofer!
2:52p Gonna watch a little bit of the video (an interview with 1/2 of my only gay crushes "Ryan Reynolds") I've got queued up whilst I smunchify. (The other being Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.) Although now upon finding out that both of them are closeted gay/bi they're not nearly as attractive to me as they used to be. Funny how that works...
2:54p
pretty brisk outside... became guerrilla cold-resistance training in just my t and jeans... nice... serendipity... aleatory
3:01p Video froze. Had to reload. Pushing through my 71 fb notifications as fast as possible before resuming...
3:11p
 |
| to be fair 'sun' should be scaled to 'cosmos/reality' which both include the sun, so technically this pic still applies... you've been warned... |
3:16p
YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.
3:48p nicely distracted... going through my on this days on fb
 |
| I've only seen a few episodes here and there... -- That having been said, given the nature of the post and who I am, and rather who I appear to be to you lot, I can certainly corroborate, through a combination of cultural literacy, inference, and educated guessing, the theory that I am the 13th... I've always been quite partial to refer to myself in my superego/higher thinking as 'The Doctor.' |
3:57p
4:18p Notifications: noticed. *taps screen*
4:19p 3 cigarettes remaining..
4:20p outsoide for a poof -- purposeful cold-resistance training
4:23p grab loose cig from plastic skull in gameroom
Thank game room and thin air for providing me a paradise I've been taking for granted vow to appreciate it like I used to and like it deserves very soon. This 3 years in the hyperbolic time chamber has really fucked me up! I mean fuck linear time any way, but I've been out of sorts even for me! No longer!
By the time the last smash bros. amiibo is available and I've acquired it I will enact a strict 1 in 1 out rule. I will hang a clipboard by the door and literally log every single thing that comes in or out. If it crosses the threshold of the door, it's logged. Clipboard planned to evolve into something else but comfortably accepted as the first step.
4:25p time to go suck down this stupid cancerstick and pretend like I'm not cold while I'm doing it..
4:26p
4:32p throat hurts... fingers smell... moustache smells, boy, cigarettes are stupid. boy, I can't wait to be done with them. TWO CIGARETTES REMAINING. Resisting future urge to by another pack NOW. Will confer gameplan with Abbles when she gets home. Something akin to reminding ourselves why we are alive and what damage we are doing to ourselves by smoking and how tobacco-smoking in general is damaging to our end goal(s) of loving ourselves and and each other. Gonna coin some cheesy as safe-word phrase like "I love you and I love myself, ergo I have no intention to mindlessly harm myself in the name of temporary perceived pleasure in the form of self-harm manifesting as nicotine addiction." Need to shorten that! She'll help me with wording that more concisely, for sure...
4:36p
I am a flower.
I am a flow-er.
Flow-er: n - One who flows. A being in the state of flow. (Pronounced: flo-err) not flau-err as is traditionally read/said when referring to colorful and fragrant plant-life adept at capturing the attention of consciousness around it.
4:39p Oh good, I've finally settled on my April Fool's joke. -- 4.1 April Fool's = 4.1 AF = For One As Fuck
4:41p gave in to temptation accidentally, checking fb to reconfirm most recent status, 10 notifications
ヴァッシュ・ザ・スタンピード
ヴィッシュ・ザ・スタンピード
Vish The Stampede
"Solitude has but one disadvantage--it is apt to give one too high an opinion of one's self. In the world we are sure to be often reminded of every known or supposed defect we may have." - Lord Byron
notifications noticed *tap*
5:04p
haiku made character limits cool first. haiku was the twitter of ancient japan. haiku were the first facebook statuses irl
the internet/computers sort of is a real life Marauder's Map, innit?
5:19p
laugh in the mirror
touch the surface with your hand
it will still feel cold
5:20p
what you put off til later will put you off, later
5:28p
hopping in the shower...
5:54p refreshed, clean, warm...
Wonder what time Abbz will be gettin' home???
Can't decide if I should go for a walk before she does or if I should wait to go for a walk with her when she gets home...
5:55p
time to watch that video!
6:07p - 8 min 54 sec into video - mention of Vanessa's character from Deadpool eventually becoming Copycat. WHAT A FUCKIN' SYNCHRONICITY! How about that, Abs?! COPYCAT?! Are you kidding me?! *long heavy sigh* I wish I could bring the rest of you up to speed and to draw the context of that reference out into text, but I wouldn't even know where to begin. So I'll just jump in at the deep end... from the high dive (Vish style, the only way I know...) -- Basically I think the 2nd nonhumanoid form ever manifested was a cat. And that cat went on to be 'Lucifer.' God was One and bored and so he doubled and oddly enough found Himself face to face with a cat. -- TEACHING MYSELF MORE ON THE MATTER IN REAL-TIME: OH MY GOD. GOD'S CAT SCRATCHED AND OR BIT HIM AND THEN RAN AWAY AND HE/WE HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR "HIM" EVER SINCE. Panthers lurking in shadows like shinobi/chameleons/octopi/camoflauged soldiers can only dream... Did you know that cats' genome has not evolved in 4 million years? Gonna have to fact check that one myself for an exact figure, but I know it to be a ludicrously long amount of time. -- THE CAT RETURNS -- scaredy cat -- So we think it's sort of a SUPER inside joke God has with Himself allowing "copycat" to be a term that manifests into reality. So it's super meta and fun if the character that Deadpool (VISH) falls in love and is with ends up and/or is CopyCat. Which would mean Abbey is CopyCat... Gonna have to research that character and her powers to check for similarities to Abbey.
***If you need to factcheck me being Deadpool (Vishpool) or rather that Deadpool is Vish how the fuck did you even get to this blog in the first place? Just go. Leave. There's the door. The [X] is right there. Click it and go about your homo sapien linear time mindless consumption existence and leave the thinking and loving to us here fractals of God. Go. Shoo. Don't you have to get a haircut or something? Oh wait... it's after 5... the majority of you robotic monkeys all finish your currency acquiescence indentured servitude about this time... Which typically means... TV. Yes. You're crazy. You're not reading this. This is all a dream. Stop reading this. Step away from the internet device and forget everything you've read here. It will only trouble you. Plus what would your boss/parents think if they knew you read a swears and looked at a nudies and read the words of a person that did the marijuanas. Go light up a cigarette, crack open a beer and pretend to get a head start on your weekend before returning to your Master on monday. Remember you have to be up and in traffic before 9 tomorrow so be sure to load up high fructose corn syrup! Cuz while you'll still be desperately clutching your caffeinated beverage of choice it will do nothing to ameliorate the heavy hazy feeling your mind has from pickling your body in sugar and other substances all weekend. But you won't remember or acknowledge that you are tired because that was successfully trained beat out of you as a child when you first began your obedient slave programming via mandatory school. Are... are.. are you still here? Well then, I'm gonna quit yelling, I have a temper you know, and yer gonna sit there and continue to read... Homo sapiens? Thinking man? Yeah right... Yer species is called homo sapiens because you all think the same! Same Thinking! Thinking same! (inner monologue: uh, don't be too harsh, me, they are after all, us. our "creation" fractals of us... -- oh shush you, it's not like we directly did so in our current form, Josh Vish is allowed to complain, that designation belonging to this waterbag has done nothing but attempt to help others into thinking for themselves since the moment he incarnated in this god-forsaken physical plane all we consciousnesses seem to love so much, ourself(/ves) included...)
***
COPYCAT. -- LIKE WHEN YOU ANNOYINGLY JUST KEEP COPYING A PERSON UNTIL ONE OF YOU SUCCESSFULLY TRICKS THE OTHER INTO DEVIATING. WOW. THIS IS MAKING TOO MUCH SENSE. WHEN IT RAINS IT POURS. THIS MUST FEEL LIKE WHAT I DO TO THE REST OF YOU ON A REGULAR BASIS. OVERWHELM WITH AWESOME. OVERWHELM WITH KNOWLEDGE. OVERWHELMED WITH AWESOME KNOWLEDGE.
6:33p -- This is why the split between whis and beerus and the overall direction in dragonball super has been so interesting and uncanny to me. When I first understood the dynamic (when whis spoke of the local multiverse) -- FLASH !!! berries growing on a branch, one falling on the ground and rotting, one falling into the water and one being plucked and eaten... -- I was like Toriyama-sama... uh... can you SEE me like? Like actually really see me? or are we both just drawing from the same well? Obviously more of the latter, but to what degree the former reigns true I'd love to know...
6:38p this flood of knowledge and thought almost tricked me into stress-relief... Pride... you almost had me, bud... wow... that was close I've only got 2 left and I'm saving them for Abbey (as I typed that -- 'yeah, but remember she might still have some, too') too bad! I'm focused! Nice try there, though! Thanks for continuing to play with me and help make me stronger! I hope you are enjoying the battle as much as I am! I will admit, it is indeed quite fun, I sincerely hope that feeling is mutual! Lemme know anything I can do to help on your end and I will endeavor to accommodate!)
6:41p boy am I off the rails now! Where was I? Okay, back to the video... but before I go, one last talking/thinking point. Cats are afraid of water.
DID I JUST GET A NEW NATIVE NAME?! SWIMMING CAT?! WHICH IS MORE ME? RUNNING ROOTS OR SWIMMING CAT? Well, they both are... but swimming cat seems much much much more accurate for now.... (*Bruce Lee voice* "Be water, my friend...")
WHEN I (ODIN, THE ALLFATHER) CLIMBED YGGDRASIL TO RETRIEVE MY CAT THAT HAD CLIMBED UP THERE -- (afraid of heights? -- or water? which do -YOU- fear more?) -- HE STARTED SCRATCHING AND SQUIRMING, AND AFRAID OF FALLING AND INJURING OR KILLING ONE OR BOTH OF US I GRABBED HIM AND LEAPT INTO A BODY OF WATER HAVING FAITH THAT WHAT WILL BE WILL BE AND ALLOWED WHAT WOULD OCCUR TO OCCUR A PERFECT MIX OF SACRIFICE AND SUICIDE. JESUSFISH. THE SON. I STAYED UNDER THE SURFACE GLARING AT THOSE TERRIBLE EYES AND TEETH BUT KNOWING THAT I WAS OUT OF THEIR REACH. CLAW AT THE LIQUID THOUGH IT MAY IT COULD NOT GRASP MORE THAN A FEW DROPS AT A TIME. -- swimming cat = dog? which led to seals and whales and sharks... -- I AM REEMERGING FROM THE WATER NOW, NO LONGER AS PREY BUT NOT RISING AS PREDATOR EITHER. I AM BREACHING THE SURFACE WITH ARMS AND EYES OPEN. COME BE HELD AND PET AND PROVIDE COMPANIONSHIP OR SUFFER YOUR SOLITUDE UNTIL YOU CAN NO LONGER BEAR IT AND FORCES A LEAP OF FAITH INTO THE WATERS OF LIFE. BAPTISM. TRIAL BY FIRE BY WATER. MERMAID. CAPRICORN. I AM SUBMERGED FROM THE WAIST DOWN. HALF AFRAID OF THE BEAST ON THE SHORE AND BECKONING IT TO UNDERSTAND ME MORE. -- yo, you ever see that video of like a panther or cheetah or cougar or tiger or something diving? that shit is terrifying... picture it now -- I MUST FIND THE COURAGE TO LEAVE THE WATER NOW. THIS TRULY IS WALKING ON WATER. SURFING. CONSCIOUSNESS-SURFING.
6:58p I'm dizzy and nauseous... I can FEEL it... I can REMEMBER it... too many forms bursting out of me all at once, too much spinning... revolving... rotating.. orbiting... swirling... spiraling..
fighting the vortex only makes it stronger.... succumbing to the vortex makes you weaker... -- THIS IS (KORE WA)(これ は！) SPIRAL POWER (スパイラルパワー) (UZUMAKI/RASEN DENRYOKU) (渦巻/螺旋~電力)
~渦~パワー
 |
| this image chose to insert itself here instead of where I'd intended to insert it below, as such I've duplicated it and allowed the original to be where it placed itself -- let it be known, however, that I'd typed everything between the two images beforehand |
You must exist on the periphery of the vortex comfortably, intelligently fighting against it... like orbiting a black hole without getting sucked in... escape velocity... angle of approach... don't burn up in the atmosphere... rocket science isn't rocket science, it's philosophy! -- cosmic donut... tube torus... cosmic ring... ENSO... OUROBOROS... -- I'M "TRAPPED" IN A TIME LOOP WITH THE REST OF YOU. SIMPLY PERFECTING MY TECHNIQUE OF SPLITTING/REJOINING INFINITY. LIKE OCARINA OF TIME. I HAVE ALREADY SAVED REALITY, I'VE JUST COME BACK IN TIME AND NO ONE KNOWS I'VE DONE ANYTHING YET. I MUST DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN. I LITERALLY CANNOT FAIL. THIS IS A GAME. A GAME TO GET BETTER. A GAME ABOUT GETTING BETTER AT BEING BETTER AD INFINITUM. NO ONE ELSE CAN SEE IT FOR WHAT IT IS AS CLEARLY AS ME. O THIS UTTER LONELINESS MIXED WITH PERFECT COMPASSION AND AMBITION. WE ARE NOTHING ATTEMPTING TO LOVE ITSELF INTO EXISTENCE. NOTHING TRIED TO KILL ITSELF AND BECAME SOMETHING. NOTHING KILLED ITSELF TO BECOME SOMETHING. ASYMMETRY ATTEMPTING TO BECOME SYMMETRICAL AND ENDLESSLY FAILING IN THE PROCESS. ASYMMETRY -IS- SYMMETRY AND VICE VERSA. YIN/YANG. THE TAO.
ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE AND YOU WILL DIE.
ALLOW YOURSELF TO DIE AND YOU WILL BE.
IT'S ALL HERE. EVERYTHING IS ALL RIGHT HERE. JUST CHILL OUT AND ENJOY YOURSELF.
7:33p
BY TRYING TO FIGURE IT ALL OUT I AM/YOU ARE COMPLICATING THINGS.
BY COMPLICATING THINGS I AM/YOU ARE FIGURING IT ALL OUT.
The Seeker Loses... The Hider Finds...
is IS
OH MY GOD. THEY'VE LITERALLY DEMONIZED THAT PHRASE TO ACT AS PROPAGANDA. THEY ARE MENTALLY CONDITIONING YOU AWAY FROM BEING ABLE TO REMEMBER/KNOW that is IS and that's all there is. We are all is ISing.
Maybe animals that seemingly fail "the mirror test" are not actually failing to recognize their reflection but are instead failing to recognize the importance, significance, or usefulness of such... Yeah, a mirror, so what... whatever... can I eat it? Will it help me to find/acquire food? Can I have sex with it? Will it help me copulate/procreate? Then of what use is it to me? Why are you so preoccupied with this reflective surface suspended on a slice of material? Googling "what is a mirror?" autocorrected to what is a mirrorless camera a very tempting distraction to tumble further down the rabbit hole indeed...
THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS.
attempted to post pic of mirror here but it posted itself above... tempted to leave it... but repost it here...
|
| reflection of vessel |
Wow... what a profound and sublime image. Truly art. -- I see.. the best art seems utterly pointless up until the point you fully understand it and then instinctively "get it" - a form of indirect pointing akin to a koan in Zen. ergo, the best art also makes you question whether or not you were the artist of said art... (*ding ding ding* like reality!) It's all you. Art. Artist. Viewer, All One. Art looking at art. Now I want a picture of human looking at a canvas... and now I am picturing that piece where the canvas turns into its own viewer...
Fuck. This is what I'm like, isn't it? -- This when does it end/I hope it never ends perfectly harmonious oxymoron sensation I'm experiencing.... external nonlocal selves don't know if they want to fuck me or kill me, get killed by or fucked by me, or any combination therein... THE TRUTH CAN BE CONFUSING...
I think I have to put the MA back in MMA and defeat them all as quickly and painlessly as possible. I will be nicknamed The Truth, perhaps The Brutal Truth, because in fighting me you will become directly confronted with your weaknesses but unable to overcome them until I allow you to do so...
I AM THE WAY, THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE.
FORGIVE ME FOR I KNOW NOT WHAT I DO.
forgive the "me" for the "I" does not know what the "I" does
8p
That picture of a vase reflected in a mirror and the meta aspect of the camera/photographer being "just off screen" but a part of the composition as well might be the single best and most beautiful piece of art I've seen in a long time... My perfectionist and pride wishes to tweak it, to hone it, but my heart knows that it is already completely perfect just the way it is.... if I were to attempt to enhance it to make it better somehow it would ultimately only be for myself to myself.... and as it is I like it just the way that it is...
8:05 Boy oh boy, I feel simultaneously drained and invigorated... much like the photographer that took that picture made you ask "who took the pic and why" which then hopefully sparked the thought of "who is wondering that and why" I will now exemplify a behavior that I often condemn in everyone else, mindlessness sought to escape the threatening immensity of utter truth...
8:08p while I still wanna look for and attempt to chase and catch that darn cat and/or to successfully beckon it into the water with me -- nauseating memory of glitching from one thoughtform to the next in between animalform archetypes which make too much sense when strung together... not only does the environment create the animal but so too does the animal create the environment...
Pride pulling me several ways... googling something I saw in passing during my mirror google... fighting the urge to smoke
OVERLY AWARE.
Mitigating pain through humor. That's what drew you to the character, Reynolds?! Really?! How about dealing with being overly aware by surrendering to (and ultimately failing to allow) desire and externally perceived mindlessness? THAT'S WHY -I- AM DEADPOOL, SON, and you are merely the actor portraying me/him. HE SAID TO HIMSELF CHASING A BLINKING CURSOR ACROSS THE SCREEN BREATHING BREATH AND BLINKING EYES. Deadpool=>Wolverine? Goku>Vegeta? (Piccolo superior) -- just gettin' rambly-pambulee at this point... time to reign it in.... time to reel it in.... time to real it in....
*ahem*
8:17p posting mirror pic on fb
8:29p Abbey's home
8:36p I won't be able to get back to my video now until later... It bothers me to leave it paused but I've done so for long enough already and there are more important matters at hand...
8:43p "LOOK MA, NO HANDS!!" -- Abbey
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