3.21.15 - Spiritual Colorblindness

What if I told you there was a whole world of "color" out there that you weren't able to see? Well, naturally, being a part of our "I'll believe it when I see it." culture, you likely wouldn't believe me.

What if I told you that "color" and "colorblindness" were mere metaphors and symbols for an entire realm of perception just beyond your grasp?

Would you believe me?

Would you trust me?

How could you know if there were no linguistic way to communicate it to you and no possible way of direct perception?

I ask you to put on these "Special Glasses" and to learn to see the world the way that I do. Connected. One. More uniting us than dividing us. Where the majority typically perceive separateness and division, I only see unity. Moreover, I have no clue how this is not 1) painfully blatantly obvious to everyone else and 2) I have no clue how to effectively transmit my perception to those not already in possession of it.

It's going to take a leap of faith.

You're just going to have to believe...

Maybe one day, you will see...

Until then, you're just going to have to take my word for it.

Tjúguskegg

3.17
"The innocent side of love is captivating to you these days. Although you are ready to reduce the complexity of your life, downsizing is more challenging than it sounds. Nevertheless, walking away from a stressful situation might be part of the larger plan. But this is not the time for a Houdini-like disappearing act; instead, you are learning the subtleties of patience. Romance need not be a house of cards held up by fantasy; a down-to-earth approach to love is more likely to result in a happy heart."

3.19
"Your life seems to be working out just as it should now, but for some unknown reason you still secretly wonder if everything is going to be okay in the long run. This odd juxtaposition tells a story of what can happen if you hide your feelings from those you love. Even if you have a clear view of your path ahead, sometimes it's hard to know the best way to reach your destination. Don't let go of your vision of the future. Focusing on your goals enables you to find your way when you feel overwhelmed. Sharing a burden makes it lighter to bear."

3.20
"You prefer having your day mapped out in detail, but your current schedule won't likely withstand the shifting pressures. Unfortunately, even your most sensible plans will be turned upside down today because the Pisces Solar Eclipse rocks your 3rd House of Immediate Environment. Crossed messages may contribute to delays or even a cancellation of a scheduled event, prompting you to think deeply about how you spend your leisure time. Rolling with the unexpected waves of change allows you to turn any setback into an exciting opportunity."

I will now be drawing myself into all of my favorite series as my favorite character(s.) You're going to have to deal with this so you might as well enjoy it.

"The Way of the Samurai is, morning after morning, the practice of death, considering whether it will be here or be there, imagining the most sightly way of dying, and putting one’s mind firmly in death. Although this may be a most difficult thing, if one will do it, it can be done. There is nothing that one should suppose cannot be done."

"Almost all animals who survive external hazards to their biological functioning eventually die from biological aging, known in life sciences as “senescence”. Some organisms experience negligible senescence, even exhibiting biological immortality. These include the jellyfish Turritopsis dohrnii, the hydra, and the planarian."

"As scientific knowledge and medicine advance, a precise medical definition of death becomes more problematic."

"The concept of death is a key to human understanding of the phenomenon. There are many scientific approaches to the concept. For example, brain death, as practiced in medical science, defines death as a point in time at which brain activity ceases. One of the challenges in defining death is in distinguishing it from life. As a point in time, death would seem to refer to the moment at which life ends. However, determining when death has occurred requires drawing precise conceptual boundaries between life and death. This is problematic because there is little consensus over how to define life. This general problem applies to the particular challenge of defining death in the context of medicine. It is possible to define life in terms of consciousness. When consciousness ceases, a living organism can be said to have died. One of the notable flaws in this approach, however, is that there are many organisms which are alive but probably not conscious (for example, single-celled organisms). Another problem is in defining consciousness, which has many different definitions given by modern scientists, psychologists and philosophers. Additionally, many religious traditions, including Abrahamic and Dharmic traditions, hold that death does not (or may not) entail the end of consciousness. In certain cultures, death is more of a process than a single event. It implies a slow shift from one spiritual state to another.

Other definitions for death focus on the character of cessation of something. In this context "death" describes merely the state where something has ceased, for example, life. Thus, the definition of "life" simultaneously defines death. Historically, attempts to define the exact moment of a human's death have been problematic. Death was once defined as the cessation of heartbeat (cardiac arrest) and of breathing, but the development of CPR and prompt defibrillation have rendered that definition inadequate because breathing and heartbeat can sometimes be restarted. Events which were causally linked to death in the past no longer kill in all circumstances; without a functioning heart or lungs, life can sometimes be sustained with a combination of life support devices, organ transplants and artificial pacemakers. Today, where a definition of the moment of death is required, doctors and coroners usually turn to "brain death" or "biological death" to define a person as being dead; people are considered dead when the electrical activity in their brain ceases. It is presumed that an end of electrical activity indicates the end of consciousness. However, suspension of consciousness must be permanent, and not transient, as occurs during certain sleep stages, and especially a coma. In the case of sleep, EEGs can easily tell the difference. However, the category of "brain death" is seen by some scholars to be problematic. For instance, Dr. Franklin Miller, senior faculty member at the Department of Bioethics, National Institutes of Health, notes: "By the late 1990s, however, the equation of brain death with death of the human being was increasingly challenged by scholars, based on evidence regarding the array of biological functioning displayed by patients correctly diagnosed as having this condition who were maintained on mechanical ventilation for substantial periods of time. These patients maintained the ability to sustain circulation and respiration, control temperature, excrete wastes, heal wounds, fight infections and, most dramatically, to gestate fetuses (in the case of pregnant "brain-dead" women)." Those people maintaining that only the neo-cortex of the brain is necessary for consciousness sometimes argue that only electrical activity should be considered when defining death. Eventually it is possible that the criterion for death will be the permanent and irreversible loss of cognitive function, as evidenced by the death of the cerebral cortex. All hope of recovering human thought and personality is then gone given current and foreseeable medical technology. However, at present, in most places the more conservative definition of death – irreversible cessation of electrical activity in the whole brain, as opposed to just in the neo-cortex – has been adopted (for example the Uniform Determination Of Death Act in the United States). In 2005, the Terri Schiavo case brought the question of brain death and artificial sustenance to the front of American politics. Even by whole-brain criteria, the determination of brain death can be complicated. EEGs can detect spurious electrical impulses, while certain drugs, hypoglycemia, hypoxia, or hypothermia can suppress or even stop brain activity on a temporary basis. Because of this, hospitals have protocols for determining brain death involving EEGs at widely separated intervals under defined conditions."

"People found unconscious under icy water may survive if their faces are kept continuously cold until they arrive at an emergency room. This "diving response", in which metabolic activity and oxygen requirements are minimal, is something humans share with cetaceans called the mammalian diving reflex."

crazypersonthought: we have to return to the oceans....

The True Age Of Aquarius: The Return To Atlantis

Where are the most water-adapted humans on the planet, today?

[Mammalian Diving Reflex]

Aqua Sapiens sapiens

"Bradycardia is the first response to submersion. Immediately upon facial contact with cold water, the human heart rate slows down ten to twenty-five percent. Seals experience changes that are even more dramatic, going from about 125 beats per minute to as low as 10 on an extended dive. Slowing the heart rate lessens the need for bloodstream oxygen, leaving more to be used by other organs. Last is the blood shift that occurs only during very deep dives. When this happens, organ and circulatory walls allow plasma/water to pass freely throughout the thoracic cavity, so its pressure stays constant and the organs aren't crushed. In this stage, the lungs' alveoli fill up with blood plasma, which is reabsorbed when the animal leaves the pressurized environment. This stage of the diving reflex has been observed in humans (such as accomplished freediver Bret Gilliam) during deep (over 90 metres or 300 ft) dives."

[Underwater Vision] -- Seeing underwater... FUN FACT: without my glasses or contacts, and with only goggles, I have perfect 20/20 under water. Beyond 20/20, actually, it's more akin to the movie 'Senseless.' I can see every pore and goose-pimple on someone an Olympic length away.

Accidentally on purpose.
On purpose, accidentally.

3.20.15 -- Happy Birthday, Mr. Rogers! -- Fred Rogers would have turned 87 years old today. -- Fred McFeely Rogers (March 20, 1928 – February 27, 2003) 

Mister Vish's Neighborhood?

Mr. Vish's 'Hood?

How to impact/influence/educate/entertain children whilst doing the same with teenagers/young adults?

How do you account for sexuality, entheogens and intoxicants, violence, the concept of death?

Mr. V
Mister V

Mischievous Mystery

"Rogers was red–green color blind, swam every morning, and neither smoked nor drank."

*ahem* Vish! 

"In 1963, Rogers moved to Toronto, where he was contracted by the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC) to develop his debut in front of the camera, the 15-minute children's program Misterogers, which though popular with children ran just three seasons."

*AH-AH-AH-AHEM* VISH!!! 

"Rogers also believed in not acting out a different persona on camera compared to how he acted off camera, stating that "One of the greatest gifts you can give anybody is the gift of your honest self. I also believe that kids can spot a phony a mile away.""

"All of us have special ones who have loved us into being. Would you just take, along with me, ten seconds to think of the people who have helped you become who you are. Ten seconds of silence."

X-Rated Mister Rogers
Rated V for Vish

"On New Year's Day 2004, Michael Keaton, who had been a stagehand on Mister Rogers' Neighborhood before becoming an actor, hosted the PBS TV special Fred Rogers: America's Favorite Neighbor."

Searchable shows. sometimes streaming

mister vish neighborhood
mister v talk

mister vish on record
mr v on record
mr v and you

vish us

here&now

MAKE FEEDING YOURSELF AND OTHERS, FUN. 

MAKE FEEDING YOURSELF AND OTHERS SYNONYMOUS WITH FUN. 

THE FUNNEST ASSEMBLY LINE EVER CONCEIVED.

Food Dance.

"Mindfulness is a popular buzzword that most of us associate with meditation, yoga and spirituality, although its definition in popular culture can be loose and subjective. In experimental psychology, the word is more rigorously defined as controlled attentiveness, a deliberate “awareness of what is happening in the present moment.”"

"Mindfulness “facilitates the acceptance of things as they occur.”"

"Good health is simply the slowest way a human being can die."


Memento Mori 

"1. Everyone must die...

2. The remainder of our life span is decreasing continually.

3. Death will come regardless of whether or not we have made time to practice the dharma.

4. Human life expectancy is uncertain.

5. There are many causes of death.

6. The human Body is very fragile.

7. Our wealth cannot help us.

8. Our loved ones cannot help.

9. Our body cannot help."

"Light Grey"
Lawful Neutral + Chaotic Good

"greydient"

Watch/listen to the entire thing entirely in its entirety or do us a both a favor and refrain from speaking to me forever.

"I and The Father are One. He who has seen me has seen The Father. Before Abraham was, I am. I am The Way and The Truth and The Life. I am The Resurrection and The Light." - [You Are, Too.]

"Wake Up EveryBody, and Find Out Who You Are."

"-A- Son Of God." - "Of The Nature Of God." -- We Are All Divine. EveryThing Is Divine.

"What happened was, this being blasphemy for the Jews, it became blasphemy for the Christians for anyone else [other] than Jesus to say it. They said 'Okay, baby, it was so with you, but there it stops! No more of this business!' And as a result of that, Jesus was made irrelevant by Pedastalization, by Being Kicked Up-Stairs. In spite of the fact that He said, "Greater works than these, that I do, shall you do." 'Oh no, upstairs with you, baby. Because we just can't have that sorta thing going on in a Monarchical Universe. We're not gonna have democracy in the Kingdom Of Heaven.'"

"Be not anxious for the morrow."

"Do not worry about what you shall eat and what you shall drink and what you shall wear, God'll take care of you. Doesn't He take care of the birds? Don't the flowers grow? They're wonderful, they're crazy, they're great! What are you worrying about?!"

"the only serious philosophical problem is whether or not to commit suicide"

"Yes, Boredom is of course -The- Problem."
"Boredom is the Other Side of Creativity. And the energy of Creation, that is the Yang, the Yin side of that energy is called Boredom. Everything is of course fundamentally Yang and Yin, if you understand that, you really don't need to understand anything else."

-- --The- Authority.-

3.21.15 -- "You're less interested in gaining recognition for your efforts today than you are in developing your potential. There is a deeper message that taskmaster Saturn is teaching you now and it's not about being admired or appreciated. In fact, you might be disappointed at first if your well-intended actions go unnoticed. Continue to do the best you can in all endeavors. Seeing your game improve is more rewarding now than anything else."

Please permit me an indefinite amount of time to sit still, breathe, and be quiet.

"Oh Buddhas and Bodhisattvas abiding in all directions,
Endowed with great compassion,
Endowed with foreknowledge,
Endowed with divine eye,
Endowed with love,
Affording protection to sentient beings,
Please come forth through the power of your great compassion,
Please accept these offerings, both actually presented and mentally created.

Oh Compassionate Ones, you who possess
The wisdom of understanding,
The love of compassion,
The power of doing divine deeds,
And of protecting in incomprehensible measure,
[...................................] is passing from this world to the next,
[He/she] is taking a great leap,
The light of this world has faded for [him/her],
[He/she] has entered solitude with their karmic forces,
[He/she] has gone into a vast silence,
[He/she] is borne away by the great ocean of birth and death ..…

Oh Compassionate Ones, protect [......................] who is defenceless. Be to [him/her] like a mother and father.

Oh Compassionate Ones, let not the force of your compassion be weak, but aid them.

Let [...........................] not go into the miserable states of existence.

Forget not your ancient vows."

I wish Abbey would get home already...

Vish!

"An artist is a person who performs certain things skillfully but doesn't really know how he does it."

"An artist is a person who performs certain things skillfully but doesn't really know how he does it. You learn art by methods that you don’t know how you learn."

VISH

short for vicious circle...

I hear an owl outside my bedroom window...

"Do you know a game called "Vish?" What you do is, everybody has a standard Webster's college dictionary, you sit round a table, and then there's a hat and you pull out, somebody pulls out a word, and everybody looks the word up, then they write down on a pad, the keywords and the definition of that word, then they start looking them up, and the first person who gets back to the original word calls out "Vish," short for "vicious circle" and he wins the round. And the referee, there's always a referee, he decides whether you worked fairly, whether you didn't take an illegitimate shortcut."

"The UnSpeakable World.
Unspeakable also means disreputable..."


"All such philosophers should play Vish. Each player is given a copy of the same dictionary. A referee draws a word from a hat, and immediately the players look it up, take a key word from the definition and look that up, and so on. The first player to get back to the original word calls out "Vish!" (vicious circle), and the referee checks his steps to be sure they are legitimate."

"churches are sexual regulation societies."

"Each player is given a copy of the same dictionary. A referee draws a word from a hat, and immediately the players look it up, take a key word from the definition and look that up, and so on. The first player to get back to the original word calls out "Vish!" (vicious circle), and the referee checks his steps to be sure they are legitimate."

"meaning never enters into his game. All such philosophers should play Vish. Each player is given a copy of the same dictionary. A referee draws a word from a hat, and immediately the players look it up, take a key word from the definition and look that up, and so on. The first player to get back to the original word calls out "Vish!" (vicious circle), and the referee checks his steps to be sure they are legitimate."

The Most Highly Skillful Art Of All

Talk:Vish_(game)

Vish (Game) -- "In the game of Vish (short for vicious circle), players compete to find circularity in dictionary definitions. Irish mathematician and physicist, John Lighton Synge, invented the multi-player, refereed game to emphasize the circular reasoning implicit in the defining process of any standard dictionary."

"All such philosophers should play Vish." - Alan Wilson Watts (In My Own Way: An Autobiography)

Learning The Human Game

*ahem*

VISH!

[HER]E

I didn't always have a name for this feeling. When I was younger and awake in the middle of the night and alone I would get this "feeling." I didn't always know to call it "happy" or "sad." It wasn't until I spoke of it to other people that I heard it referred to as 'happy' or 'sad.' Some said, 'happy.' Others said, 'sad.' I didn't know what it was called then, I don't know what it's called now. Here. Presence. Being. Now. Awareness.

Maybe.

"This feeling" will do. It always has. Why name it, when I can feel it?

Un-name your feelings. Don't name your feelings. FEEL them.

The inextricable blur betwixt pain and pleasure is best felt and experienced rather than dissected and analyzed.

I don't know what I am feeling but I know that I am feeling.

It's hard for me to be quiet. It's hard for me to sit still.

I am going to attempt to have a conversation with myself.
I am having a conversation with myself.
There, realizing it was all it took. That wasn't so hard, now was it?

No. You know what I mean.
You?
I know what I mean. Humor me. Humor your self.
I am humoring myself.

I am having a conversation with myself.

*sit*
*flick*
*inhale*
*exhale*
*twist*
*sip*
*swallow*
*sit*

If only I could type as fast as I can think. I'd settle for even as fast as I talk.
I should probably go to bed.
That would be responsible.
That's the responsible thing to do.
Maintain a good sleep schedule.
Be a good little human.

Oh wait. No off button on this thing. Just sorta have to wait it out...

Sleeping isn't want I wanted initially anyway. I wanted to have a good think. I wanted to record myself thinking. Doing a pretty decent, tip-of-the-iceberg style, job of it presently, I'd say. Posture needed reassessed. As did laptop placement. All comfy like now.

I wanted to type this and then read a catalog I got in the mail today. Followed by

HER 6 AM ALARM IS GOING OFF

FUCK THIS SHIT. ABBEY IS AWAKE. TIME TO HANG OUT WITH HER.

男の人は食べています。

男の人は食べています。

I can breathe again.

SomeThing Happening Last Night.
SomeThing Changed Last Night.

A Return To Me.

Healed. Recovered.

I've been sick for about a week now. Real nasty cough compounded with really congested sinus. I'm no slouch. Rest. Fluids. Spicy Food. It's been slow goin', which is not something I'm used to. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Usually my inhuman immune system renders any sickness void in fewer than 72 hours. Not this time around. Perhaps it was to reacquaint me with my humanity or perhaps there was a reason for it well beyond that.

I had some pretty dense dreams last night, and unlike usually where I can recall every minute detail with perfect clarity, last night's subconscious shenanigans were quite blurry. I can only recall bits and pieces. Again, I can really only refer to this feeling as "human." This is what it's like for the rest of you guys, huh? My goodness I can see how frustrating that would be. I often take my gifts for granted, this being one of them. Being a serial (and often unwanted) lucid dreamer the grass of non-lucid dreams seems greener. It's just different grass is all. You guys are jealous of my ability to control and remember my dreams. I was jealous of you lot for having dreams independent of conscious control that fade upon waking. Indeed it was and is a major reason I supplement with cannabis. It dampens the intensity and amount of dreams I dream during the night and pushes them from my mind faster when I awake.

You desire the ability to control and recall, I desire the ability to participate and forget.

Well, this is one instance where I'm missing my natural set of attributes and feeling stymied by my seeming inability to consciously reactivate them.

One day perhaps, once and for all, I will do myself and the world a favor and empirically determine which grass is actually greener. Until then, I'm content to discuss shades and hues and appreciate the differences therein.

The portions of last night's mental magic that I've got a hold on are fragmented, illusory and too vague to be immediately interpreted. Granted that does not dictate that some parts are quite easy to break down amid easily replaying them.

In no particular order, I remember 3 "main" "parts."

There was a monstrously high and tall corporate building that two men worked in or maybe were just meeting in. I say "there was" because I had no direct connection to either of them, nor did I experience any of this "part" from either of their first person perspectives. I was more just a roving observer taking it in. Lacking my usual lush and descriptive language I am going to have to do my best to paint a picture in your mind missing the colors and brushes used to paint them in the first place. There was some sort of a tension to their meeting and it seemed to be a high-stakes one. The one guy I can clearly remember and describe as basically muscular Greg from Dharma and Greg, wearing black slacks and shoes and a light blue button-down rebelliously rolled at the sleeves and worn with no tie or jacket. In the dream this carried the nuance of only him being permitted to dress in this manner in a hypocritical, unspoken, and tenuous way.

There was another man, looking very similar, but tanner, shorter and far more ripped. In the face I seem to recall him looking a lot like the other guy, but the details are, reluctantly, admittedly, hazy. So in the sake of brevity a fitting description might be slightly-latino Greg from Dharma and Greg, haha.

They were discussing things in a very heated yet relaxed manner, as most high-level board-room conversations between two high-powered executives are conducted in real life. A dueling banjoes dynamic began to develop as each tried to one-up the others' proposal or idea, and the longer this continued the more sexual tension began to build. Eventually, as somewhat anticipated at this point the conversation devolved into direct comparisons of appearance. They fiercely named the muscles and movements responsible for their development in an attempt to impress and overwhelm the other to no avail. They punctuated such observations with others about clothing and its source and cost.

The "climax" of this "dream-scene" was represented in a urgent embrace from Greg to Latino-Greg to which Latino-Greg promptly, gently yet firmly cautioned "You're being bossy." In retrospect, that moment changes the rest of the way I remember Greg's initial character. Indeed retroactively his whole personality seems tainted by this exchange. Prior to this point the powerplay dynamics asserting themselves seemed openly tipped in Greg's favor, at this point however it was clear that Latino-Greg had been "in charge" the whole time.

After a rapidfire exchange of boasting one's own qualities while attempting to point out the other's in a way that highlighted one's own, they moved closer and began more intensely examining one another's sartorial choices in the same fierce way they'd been highlighting one another's flesh-suits.

The "true climax" of this moment came when after a compliment on his pectorals from L-G, G un-buttoned his shirt as if to say "Yes. Revel in them and be overtaken by them!" L-G didn't bat an eye as he deftly flicked the button necessary to reveal his own rippling chest, to which G was very much unable to hide the fact that he was genuinely impressed. That prompted the situation to come to a head and Greg tenderly embraced Latino-Greg's neck and upper shoulders in a searching manner preceding a kiss. Latino-Greg neither moved no reciprocated, rather he issued the stern "You're being bossy." Which caused a stern Greg to immediately recoil and recoup. Unable to decide whether he was dejected or intrigued, the character's pacing back and forth in distance from the other's represents the subtle waves washing ashore and flowing back out to sea way in which the memory breaks down and fades away for me.

The symbolism in this one is the most easily read for me. Recently I excised one toxic relationship from my life whilst reuniting with a beneficial one unfortunately moved away from some time ago. In short, I traded one player for another.

Clearly this scene was merely an on-the-nose metaphor for the power play dynamics between myself and these two other men. Less clear however is who was represented by whom, and for what amount of time. Like I advise most of you coming to me for dream interpretation, I must simply not think on it directly and allow myself to subconsciously search through it as I go about my day. A lot easier said than done! I'll keep that in mind next time I'm downplaying its difficulty!

The other 2 main acts are far more disjointed and ambiguous still. As such, my descriptions of them will be fittingly brief and woefully underdeveloped.

At one point I was on a different version of earth or perhaps a rare corner of the actual globe covered in resort and obstacle-course style trappings. Honestly, a pretty typical dream setting for me that I've come to anticipate and have grown quite familiar and comfortable with. Another familiar theme is that it began being invaded by "others." Unlike normally where I could plainly describe them, a blurry sorta-aliens-or-sorta-insects-or-sorta-monsters-or-something-but-definitely-not-humans is really the best I can do! They swarmed upon the resort and most fled or were shot down. A HUD appeared and whether it was self-generated and percieved or a feature from the resort remains to be seen or known, a beeping and red highlight along with awareness of peripheal vision warned me of an "Invader" coming in hot on my 3 o'clock, and unlike normally where I manifest some sort of strength, weapon, or magic, I winced and covered up and crouched in fear. This is not in and of itself unique or ground-breaking as many of my nightmares are categorized not by gore, pain, or dying but by rather not knowing how or refusing to fight back. THAT for me is the true nightmare. This was no different. However in this "nightmare moment" I did something I'm not sure I've done since I was a kid. I "paused" the dream. I spontaneously became lucid and froze the rest of the action into a 3D diorama I was free to navigate at my whim. Hence why I can recall this part with so much clarity. I "woke up." Not enough to open my physical eyes in reality but just enough to bring me back to center on my character overlapping reality and non-reality. I do not cower. I do not fear. I am Josh Vish. I do not back down. I fight back. Consciously holding all that in mind, I unpaused and promptly decked the offending Invader out of the air and several hundred feet away. From that point on the action/visuals fade into a standard battle being won by one side possessing a mighty warrior doing most of the work.

The symbolism best ascertained from this is "believe in yourself and you will be capable of great things." If you cower in fear, then you will be cowardly and afraid. If you stand and fight, then even if you fall, you will be brave and strong.

As almost a subset of the above, the other snippet was illustrating a similar theme in a re-mixed manner. I was in a convenience store amid another "Invasion." This particular store seemed to be in a New York style area or maybe even the actual Big Apple. The people populating it were well aware that conflict was going on but were doggedly determined to continue on with business as usual. Explosions are rattling the walls and immigrants are haggling prices of candybars. America in a nutshell. Well played, brain. At some point marauders/looters had infiltrated the store and seized the owner effectively taking control of the storefront. They forced him to remain at the counter and then attempted to rob and/or maim whichever brave unwitting customer dare approach. I was one such customer, but when I bent down to grab an impulse item, unaware of the situation at hand, they foolishly fired above where I had previously been standing. I dropped to the ground and stealthily made my way around to the swinging door leading behind the cashier. I went unnoticed as they moved onto their next victim. The leader was crouched knees to chest behind the store-owner and too pre-occupied to notice me sidle up mere inches away from him. When I whispered "hey" he jumped and ran in a knee-jerk reaction that forfeited the bluff and minor weapon I had planned on injuring him with.

The lesson here being fighting fire with fire. Scaring the scary. Sneaking up on the sneaky. He was so thoroughly shocked that dream-physics (or my perception of them rather) may or may not have broke down for a moment as he appeared to literally jump out of his skin akin to old Tom and Jerry cartoons. He was so frightened! I derived so much sinister pleasure for being responsible! Like the others, everything seems to blur and fade from here.

I was motivated to capture as much of the experience in text as I could this morning thanks to the conversation held last night.

Vish Fantasy League just cut a toxic player from the team and re-signed a former star.
I can't seem to get the idea out of my head that this is what finally made me better and helped me overcome this illness I'd been battling for an uncharacteristically long amount of time.

I was afforded the wonderful opportunity to reunite with a lost friend. One from an era and group of friends that I'd sadly resigned myself to not ever see again. A while back he'd randomly blocked me on facebook and in response I blocked him in real life. About a week or so ago, he apologized for his actions and contacted me to get together. Not just to explain, but simply to catch up. And catch up we did! Not to put his business out there, because he was very adamant that I not spread his personal life about, but to loosely recount the night we talked on many subjects that I myself am very familiar with but that most Body-Builder/Personal Trainers only have a cursory knowledge of. Fitness talk was expected and unabashed. HOWEVER, spiritual talk and matters of meditation were a very pleasant and welcome surprise! Two, three in addition to fitness, areas of my expertise! I won't include much more detail than that as I've agreed to respect his privacy. Hence not naming/identifying this mystery friend of mine. And endeavoring to speak so generally that even if an enterprising individual were to deduce his idenity that no subject discussed would reveal anything preferred to be kept private.

Something I will describe in paradoxically vague detail is the juxtaposition of our living spaces and how they represent the subsequent juxtaposition of our actual lives. He'd apparently moved near me recently and as such, we're technically neighbors, something which is mildly painful to know I was unaware of during the interim in which he and I didn't speak. "You were this close the whole time?!" Big and empty. He clearly makes and has made more money than me in the past, but the sparse (read: non-existent) decoration in the house communicated an austere asceticism I thought un-befitting of a person mired in proving one's appearance to the outside world. I am neither condescending nor condemning. Indeed, I rather like it. And, praised it and him as such. It just seemed oddly oxymoronic. Like going over Snoop Dogg's house and seeing nary a pot-leaf or cannabis related item anywhere. His family, while not boastful in the least, good honest hard-working blue-collars poised to become and slowly transitioning into respectable white-collars even spread its influence into me as my family is very very very similar. So coming from the same "family" I expected his trappings to be more lavish. That is not to imply, however, that I was somehow disappointed by what I saw. Quite the opposite as I've already stated above.

In our Family, appearance is claimed to not be important but plays a vital unspoken role in establishing oneself as a sovereign member of the group. While gold, cars, and expensive electronics are desired, bought, and enjoyed, they come at the unspoken price of being categorized as luxuries and therefore ultimately unnecessary. This does not change our natural human proclivity to enjoy and praise them though. We just attempt to do so in a diminished manner separate from what really matters. On the opposite end of the spectrum are things like seasonal decorations or other such comfortable amenities. Knick-knacks and brick-a-brack not owned for status but merely for comfort. The disparity between the two often results in a bizarrely triangulated keeping-up-with-the-joneses not merely content to remain unspoken but violently guarded from being directly acknowledged.

Family member "A": "Hey, I just got an expensive new [x!] Come check it out!"
Family member "B": "I think there are better things you could be spending your money on... Or better yet, better to just save your money instead of frivolously spending it at all."
A: "..."
B: U_U

A: "Look at these sentimental value mementos I saved from [Elder Family Member X!]"
B: "Oh wow! Those are so cool! I'm so jealous!"
A: ^_______^
B: ^_______^

A: "I just bought this new [x] so that I can make and store more food for the rest of the family!"
B: "Oh yeah? That's nothin'. I just bought [y] so that I can build and repair more things for the rest of the family."
A: "Pfft. Whatevs. I also got [z] to...."
B: "Well I got [q]"
So on and so forth for an uncalled for amount of time.

So that being said and represented, I mean to simply say I expected him to have more and was pleasantly surprised and proud that he did not.

My apartment with Abbey stands on the far other end of the extreme in that the actual place itself is somewhat in a state of disrepair but is bursting at the seems with free/found furniture and prized possessions accumulated over the course of decades and separate individuals. A wonderfully visual juxtaposition.

Big Nice, Mostly Empty Place vs. Medium Acceptable, Crammed Place

It even seems to me personally to represent both our bodies and our minds compared and contrasted to one another.

Not completely, obviously as there is far more "inside him" than his place lets on and there is urgent potential to graduate to a larger place for myself. - I suppose and surmise, like all things in reality, a balance between the two will naturally equalize. For both parties. Diffusion is after all the only absolute truth. *Tangent* Diffusion is the founding principle of Reality. Everything you perceive (and even what you don't) is diffusion in process somehow. It's the closest thing there is to an absolute universal truth. It's the closest I personally have gotten to a TOE (Theory Of Everything.)

-Just- experienced a synchronicity with the drink he made me after we'd been sippin' maker's mark for a few hours, the Moscow Mule - VODKA, GINGER BEER, LIME. Never heard of it prior to drinking it and then saw it atop a friend's page on facebook today from being posted at roughly the same time we were drinking ours.


[Un-named Collaboration X] I was going to include my business proposal to/with this individual but the toxic individual that I've removed from life is prone to reading this very blog and pilfering its ideas to claim as his own. So unfortunately I must remain hushed until developed enough to debut. Suffice it to say, I think that the two of us working together would be extremely mutually beneficial.


男の人は食べています。