3.21.15 - Spiritual Colorblindness

What if I told you there was a whole world of "color" out there that you weren't able to see? Well, naturally, being a part of our "I'll believe it when I see it." culture, you likely wouldn't believe me.

What if I told you that "color" and "colorblindness" were mere metaphors and symbols for an entire realm of perception just beyond your grasp?

Would you believe me?

Would you trust me?

How could you know if there were no linguistic way to communicate it to you and no possible way of direct perception?

I ask you to put on these "Special Glasses" and to learn to see the world the way that I do. Connected. One. More uniting us than dividing us. Where the majority typically perceive separateness and division, I only see unity. Moreover, I have no clue how this is not 1) painfully blatantly obvious to everyone else and 2) I have no clue how to effectively transmit my perception to those not already in possession of it.

It's going to take a leap of faith.

You're just going to have to believe...

Maybe one day, you will see...

Until then, you're just going to have to take my word for it.

Tjúguskegg

3.17
"The innocent side of love is captivating to you these days. Although you are ready to reduce the complexity of your life, downsizing is more challenging than it sounds. Nevertheless, walking away from a stressful situation might be part of the larger plan. But this is not the time for a Houdini-like disappearing act; instead, you are learning the subtleties of patience. Romance need not be a house of cards held up by fantasy; a down-to-earth approach to love is more likely to result in a happy heart."

3.19
"Your life seems to be working out just as it should now, but for some unknown reason you still secretly wonder if everything is going to be okay in the long run. This odd juxtaposition tells a story of what can happen if you hide your feelings from those you love. Even if you have a clear view of your path ahead, sometimes it's hard to know the best way to reach your destination. Don't let go of your vision of the future. Focusing on your goals enables you to find your way when you feel overwhelmed. Sharing a burden makes it lighter to bear."

3.20
"You prefer having your day mapped out in detail, but your current schedule won't likely withstand the shifting pressures. Unfortunately, even your most sensible plans will be turned upside down today because the Pisces Solar Eclipse rocks your 3rd House of Immediate Environment. Crossed messages may contribute to delays or even a cancellation of a scheduled event, prompting you to think deeply about how you spend your leisure time. Rolling with the unexpected waves of change allows you to turn any setback into an exciting opportunity."

I will now be drawing myself into all of my favorite series as my favorite character(s.) You're going to have to deal with this so you might as well enjoy it.

"The Way of the Samurai is, morning after morning, the practice of death, considering whether it will be here or be there, imagining the most sightly way of dying, and putting one’s mind firmly in death. Although this may be a most difficult thing, if one will do it, it can be done. There is nothing that one should suppose cannot be done."

"Almost all animals who survive external hazards to their biological functioning eventually die from biological aging, known in life sciences as “senescence”. Some organisms experience negligible senescence, even exhibiting biological immortality. These include the jellyfish Turritopsis dohrnii, the hydra, and the planarian."

"As scientific knowledge and medicine advance, a precise medical definition of death becomes more problematic."

"The concept of death is a key to human understanding of the phenomenon. There are many scientific approaches to the concept. For example, brain death, as practiced in medical science, defines death as a point in time at which brain activity ceases. One of the challenges in defining death is in distinguishing it from life. As a point in time, death would seem to refer to the moment at which life ends. However, determining when death has occurred requires drawing precise conceptual boundaries between life and death. This is problematic because there is little consensus over how to define life. This general problem applies to the particular challenge of defining death in the context of medicine. It is possible to define life in terms of consciousness. When consciousness ceases, a living organism can be said to have died. One of the notable flaws in this approach, however, is that there are many organisms which are alive but probably not conscious (for example, single-celled organisms). Another problem is in defining consciousness, which has many different definitions given by modern scientists, psychologists and philosophers. Additionally, many religious traditions, including Abrahamic and Dharmic traditions, hold that death does not (or may not) entail the end of consciousness. In certain cultures, death is more of a process than a single event. It implies a slow shift from one spiritual state to another.

Other definitions for death focus on the character of cessation of something. In this context "death" describes merely the state where something has ceased, for example, life. Thus, the definition of "life" simultaneously defines death. Historically, attempts to define the exact moment of a human's death have been problematic. Death was once defined as the cessation of heartbeat (cardiac arrest) and of breathing, but the development of CPR and prompt defibrillation have rendered that definition inadequate because breathing and heartbeat can sometimes be restarted. Events which were causally linked to death in the past no longer kill in all circumstances; without a functioning heart or lungs, life can sometimes be sustained with a combination of life support devices, organ transplants and artificial pacemakers. Today, where a definition of the moment of death is required, doctors and coroners usually turn to "brain death" or "biological death" to define a person as being dead; people are considered dead when the electrical activity in their brain ceases. It is presumed that an end of electrical activity indicates the end of consciousness. However, suspension of consciousness must be permanent, and not transient, as occurs during certain sleep stages, and especially a coma. In the case of sleep, EEGs can easily tell the difference. However, the category of "brain death" is seen by some scholars to be problematic. For instance, Dr. Franklin Miller, senior faculty member at the Department of Bioethics, National Institutes of Health, notes: "By the late 1990s, however, the equation of brain death with death of the human being was increasingly challenged by scholars, based on evidence regarding the array of biological functioning displayed by patients correctly diagnosed as having this condition who were maintained on mechanical ventilation for substantial periods of time. These patients maintained the ability to sustain circulation and respiration, control temperature, excrete wastes, heal wounds, fight infections and, most dramatically, to gestate fetuses (in the case of pregnant "brain-dead" women)." Those people maintaining that only the neo-cortex of the brain is necessary for consciousness sometimes argue that only electrical activity should be considered when defining death. Eventually it is possible that the criterion for death will be the permanent and irreversible loss of cognitive function, as evidenced by the death of the cerebral cortex. All hope of recovering human thought and personality is then gone given current and foreseeable medical technology. However, at present, in most places the more conservative definition of death – irreversible cessation of electrical activity in the whole brain, as opposed to just in the neo-cortex – has been adopted (for example the Uniform Determination Of Death Act in the United States). In 2005, the Terri Schiavo case brought the question of brain death and artificial sustenance to the front of American politics. Even by whole-brain criteria, the determination of brain death can be complicated. EEGs can detect spurious electrical impulses, while certain drugs, hypoglycemia, hypoxia, or hypothermia can suppress or even stop brain activity on a temporary basis. Because of this, hospitals have protocols for determining brain death involving EEGs at widely separated intervals under defined conditions."

"People found unconscious under icy water may survive if their faces are kept continuously cold until they arrive at an emergency room. This "diving response", in which metabolic activity and oxygen requirements are minimal, is something humans share with cetaceans called the mammalian diving reflex."

crazypersonthought: we have to return to the oceans....

The True Age Of Aquarius: The Return To Atlantis

Where are the most water-adapted humans on the planet, today?

[Mammalian Diving Reflex]

Aqua Sapiens sapiens

"Bradycardia is the first response to submersion. Immediately upon facial contact with cold water, the human heart rate slows down ten to twenty-five percent. Seals experience changes that are even more dramatic, going from about 125 beats per minute to as low as 10 on an extended dive. Slowing the heart rate lessens the need for bloodstream oxygen, leaving more to be used by other organs. Last is the blood shift that occurs only during very deep dives. When this happens, organ and circulatory walls allow plasma/water to pass freely throughout the thoracic cavity, so its pressure stays constant and the organs aren't crushed. In this stage, the lungs' alveoli fill up with blood plasma, which is reabsorbed when the animal leaves the pressurized environment. This stage of the diving reflex has been observed in humans (such as accomplished freediver Bret Gilliam) during deep (over 90 metres or 300 ft) dives."

[Underwater Vision] -- Seeing underwater... FUN FACT: without my glasses or contacts, and with only goggles, I have perfect 20/20 under water. Beyond 20/20, actually, it's more akin to the movie 'Senseless.' I can see every pore and goose-pimple on someone an Olympic length away.

Accidentally on purpose.
On purpose, accidentally.

3.20.15 -- Happy Birthday, Mr. Rogers! -- Fred Rogers would have turned 87 years old today. -- Fred McFeely Rogers (March 20, 1928 – February 27, 2003) 

Mister Vish's Neighborhood?

Mr. Vish's 'Hood?

How to impact/influence/educate/entertain children whilst doing the same with teenagers/young adults?

How do you account for sexuality, entheogens and intoxicants, violence, the concept of death?

Mr. V
Mister V

Mischievous Mystery

"Rogers was red–green color blind, swam every morning, and neither smoked nor drank."

*ahem* Vish! 

"In 1963, Rogers moved to Toronto, where he was contracted by the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC) to develop his debut in front of the camera, the 15-minute children's program Misterogers, which though popular with children ran just three seasons."

*AH-AH-AH-AHEM* VISH!!! 

"Rogers also believed in not acting out a different persona on camera compared to how he acted off camera, stating that "One of the greatest gifts you can give anybody is the gift of your honest self. I also believe that kids can spot a phony a mile away.""

"All of us have special ones who have loved us into being. Would you just take, along with me, ten seconds to think of the people who have helped you become who you are. Ten seconds of silence."

X-Rated Mister Rogers
Rated V for Vish

"On New Year's Day 2004, Michael Keaton, who had been a stagehand on Mister Rogers' Neighborhood before becoming an actor, hosted the PBS TV special Fred Rogers: America's Favorite Neighbor."

Searchable shows. sometimes streaming

mister vish neighborhood
mister v talk

mister vish on record
mr v on record
mr v and you

vish us

here&now

MAKE FEEDING YOURSELF AND OTHERS, FUN. 

MAKE FEEDING YOURSELF AND OTHERS SYNONYMOUS WITH FUN. 

THE FUNNEST ASSEMBLY LINE EVER CONCEIVED.

Food Dance.

"Mindfulness is a popular buzzword that most of us associate with meditation, yoga and spirituality, although its definition in popular culture can be loose and subjective. In experimental psychology, the word is more rigorously defined as controlled attentiveness, a deliberate “awareness of what is happening in the present moment.”"

"Mindfulness “facilitates the acceptance of things as they occur.”"

"Good health is simply the slowest way a human being can die."


Memento Mori 

"1. Everyone must die...

2. The remainder of our life span is decreasing continually.

3. Death will come regardless of whether or not we have made time to practice the dharma.

4. Human life expectancy is uncertain.

5. There are many causes of death.

6. The human Body is very fragile.

7. Our wealth cannot help us.

8. Our loved ones cannot help.

9. Our body cannot help."

"Light Grey"
Lawful Neutral + Chaotic Good

"greydient"

Watch/listen to the entire thing entirely in its entirety or do us a both a favor and refrain from speaking to me forever.

"I and The Father are One. He who has seen me has seen The Father. Before Abraham was, I am. I am The Way and The Truth and The Life. I am The Resurrection and The Light." - [You Are, Too.]

"Wake Up EveryBody, and Find Out Who You Are."

"-A- Son Of God." - "Of The Nature Of God." -- We Are All Divine. EveryThing Is Divine.

"What happened was, this being blasphemy for the Jews, it became blasphemy for the Christians for anyone else [other] than Jesus to say it. They said 'Okay, baby, it was so with you, but there it stops! No more of this business!' And as a result of that, Jesus was made irrelevant by Pedastalization, by Being Kicked Up-Stairs. In spite of the fact that He said, "Greater works than these, that I do, shall you do." 'Oh no, upstairs with you, baby. Because we just can't have that sorta thing going on in a Monarchical Universe. We're not gonna have democracy in the Kingdom Of Heaven.'"

"Be not anxious for the morrow."

"Do not worry about what you shall eat and what you shall drink and what you shall wear, God'll take care of you. Doesn't He take care of the birds? Don't the flowers grow? They're wonderful, they're crazy, they're great! What are you worrying about?!"

"the only serious philosophical problem is whether or not to commit suicide"

"Yes, Boredom is of course -The- Problem."
"Boredom is the Other Side of Creativity. And the energy of Creation, that is the Yang, the Yin side of that energy is called Boredom. Everything is of course fundamentally Yang and Yin, if you understand that, you really don't need to understand anything else."

-- --The- Authority.-

3.21.15 -- "You're less interested in gaining recognition for your efforts today than you are in developing your potential. There is a deeper message that taskmaster Saturn is teaching you now and it's not about being admired or appreciated. In fact, you might be disappointed at first if your well-intended actions go unnoticed. Continue to do the best you can in all endeavors. Seeing your game improve is more rewarding now than anything else."

Please permit me an indefinite amount of time to sit still, breathe, and be quiet.

"Oh Buddhas and Bodhisattvas abiding in all directions,
Endowed with great compassion,
Endowed with foreknowledge,
Endowed with divine eye,
Endowed with love,
Affording protection to sentient beings,
Please come forth through the power of your great compassion,
Please accept these offerings, both actually presented and mentally created.

Oh Compassionate Ones, you who possess
The wisdom of understanding,
The love of compassion,
The power of doing divine deeds,
And of protecting in incomprehensible measure,
[...................................] is passing from this world to the next,
[He/she] is taking a great leap,
The light of this world has faded for [him/her],
[He/she] has entered solitude with their karmic forces,
[He/she] has gone into a vast silence,
[He/she] is borne away by the great ocean of birth and death ..…

Oh Compassionate Ones, protect [......................] who is defenceless. Be to [him/her] like a mother and father.

Oh Compassionate Ones, let not the force of your compassion be weak, but aid them.

Let [...........................] not go into the miserable states of existence.

Forget not your ancient vows."

I wish Abbey would get home already...

Barefoot in The City

I slept all day today. ALL day. From like 10:30AM to 11:35PM.

During this sleep I had some of the most intense partially lucid dreams/nightmares I've ever had. Which has been a steadily increasing trend as of late. Each batch is more fierce than the last. During the peak of my lucidity in the dreams the most prevalent thoughts are a combination of, "This cannot be happening." and, "There is no way this is being generated purely by my brain/mind." A form of doubt comes into play. My keen sense of observation and constant watch on myself even extends to the unconscious realm and while there, I cannot, for the life of me, make a decision as to "where" dreams come from. I can only recall snippets now. They are over-saturated, brightly-colored, hyper-kinetic flashes of frenzied activity. Very reminiscent of my DMT trip and prior experience with psychedelics. From the height of my enhanced awareness, I remember being plainly impressed with the amount of detail and clarity in the sights I was seeing. A thought crossed over with me. One that has done so many times before. -- Either dreams come from "somewhere" "out there" or I am in possession of one of the most impressive brains to have ever existed. Possibly THE most. Thanks to my psychedelic training I'm able to recognize subtle differences between "reality" and non-reality. A big portion of what clued me in today was the sense/feeling of the dream being more "real" than reality. Something that greatly hearkens back to DMT. It felt almost like a superreality, a more pure form of the existence we all experience daily. 1080p HD compared to old silent films. Anime to children's drawings.

I've always had an incredible ability to recall with frighteningly accurate clarity the detail of my dreams and it is with the utmost confidence of a scientist steeped in years of intel and research that I can proffer: my dreams were not like this growing up. Something has changed. Perhaps is changing. Maybe doing DMT opened some sort of floodgate, maybe our proximity to 11.11.11 11:11 and 2012 is affecting ALL of reality. Maybe approaching my own personal deadline of 27 is a factor. Perhaps it is all or none of these things. Truth is, I do not know. There is also the factor of you. I have not met you yet, but we're due to meet soon. Time for you only moves forward, but for me I can already feel the ripples of a "coming" event. Too many variables to form a valid hypothesis at this time.

What I do know is that I feel like a teenager again. Unsure. Questioning the validity of the world around me. I have not abandoned the teachings of my training and as such have not lost the feeling of serenity I've fought so hard to earn, and yet still I can watch myself thinking these thoughts and feeling these feelings and my assessment is: huh, this again.

When I was an actual chronological teenager I'd received a slow trickle of media that allowed me to eventually break my own fourth wall. Well before the reality-bending of The Matrix, Dark City and Vanilla Sky there was The Maxx. An animated series on MTV's Liquid Television that, frankly, probably should not have been watched by my young developing mind. The series followed the adventures (and misadventures) of the titular character The Maxx.

A man that sat on the fence between reality and dreams. A very poignant expression of life imitating art in what I have become in my summer years. In reality Maxx is a bum, living in a cardboard box and semi-dependent on a social worker named Julie. In The Outback (the series' name for the Dream Realm) The Maxx is a wild superhero that often protects the alternate version of Julie known as The Jungle Queen. The symmetry between this and my two most recent relationships is not lost on me. The overall thought/feeling I took away from the show at that age, and that has continued into adulthood but since withered, is: the inability to differentiate between what's real and what isn't. Does one assign loyalty to the "real world" or The Outback? Teen years are difficult for all of us and I was no exception. The Maxx came to me at the exact moment I was beginning to call everything into question. Looking back, it's easy to see that it catalyzed the slow process that eventually resulted in "me".

The "two" worlds have since blurred for me and I'm fast losing my ability to separate them. Everything seems hopelessly intertwined and the feeling one is usually granted upon waking, that of being anchored back in reality, has been absent as of late.

I understand why humans are so dedicated to their rigid schedules of day and night, rest and work, youth and age. They're focal points. Breadcrumbs. Basically the whole point to this human experience. Just like when I was younger, when I start careening through space and time, my mindset becomes equally adrift. When I have a steady job, the ability to get to a gym and a girlfriend with whom to attach experience, things seem perfectly normal. Psychedelic experiences are limited to the occasional intense dream and of course actual ingestion of substances understood to create such states. However, amid the chaos I am now experiencing, and have experienced at regular intervals throughout my life, the lack of a discernible timeline throws everything into question. Mundane things take on an additional layer of profundity and simple human interactions become laced with synchronicity and meaning. The feeling of trying to be able to pay attention but not being able to has spilled over from dreams into the world. It's like when you go to a party or an amusement park or anything new and disordered. You have a certain amount of the experience that your brain will let you have in the actual moment funneled into sharp spots of presence and then you have the remainder to be experienced as time wears on and you are fed the overwhelming amount of stimulus you ingested earlier in portions acceptable for integrating interpretations.

My life is in boxes and I'm unsure whether or not to unpack. I've been at this apartment for a little under a week now and not too much is unpacked. An organic existence has developed inside my planned one. All useless possession have fallen by the wayside and just the essentials are being utilized. Kitchen, bathroom, clothing. Everything else remains untouched. I'm reminded of my brief stint in jail, or family vacations, or either of my periods of living away from home subsisting on only the bare essentials.

A question develops: Do I need all this shit?

The clear, immediate answer is no.

But I know better than that. Given enough time, everything would just accumulate again. So my charge becomes not attempting to rid myself of all of it, or even to grow so wealthy as to acquire more, instead I must strive to purify. Keep what is crucial to the existence I've created for myself.

Still though, even knowing this, the visceral visual of everything neatly packed n' stacked is hard to ignore.

A big part of me wants to leave everything be. Just unpack when and where the need for an item arises. Another part desires to request off a string of days and to get everything completely set-up how I see fit. This struggle would have defined stress in my youth, but in my maturity I view it from the third position and pick and choose when and where to ally my support without ever losing my sense of calm.

The lines between "me" and "out there" are starting to blur. I mean even more than they already had. Everything seems a perverted extension of myself. Upon waking, and still reeling from the severe states suffered while sleeping, I was still not fully "here". Reality still felt like a dream. Since showering and sitting down to type this, things have greatly settled down.

*Tangent: typing to me seems to be the very definition of the mode of existence we experience as humans from birth to death. Slow, purposeful, calculated attempts at capturing something that is inherently incapturable. When we are Moon-Faced Buddha, typing/life seems slow, boring and monotonous. When we are Sun-Faced Buddha, typing/life seems an elegant way to progress forward and simultaneously anchor ourselves. When you've had overwhelming dreams/nightmares, you long for waking life. When you've had a string of drawn-out tedious days in the Conscious Realm you pine for sleep and astral adventure. Such is the ebb and flow of life. Such is the expression of the very duality we are here to experience. Yin and Yang. The fundamental balance of opposing forces understood to create unity through perceived separation. /Tangent*

I was fully dressed from this morning, (I had to cover the portions of my anatomy deemed unacceptable for exposure to society in order to politely send off a young lady that had spent the night) and still very much out of it when I first decided to reach for my phone and rejoin the reality game. Motivated by hunger and confused by recent mental escapades I sauntered around my apartment aimlessly until settling in on a bag of baked goods acquired from work last night. I set in on them and leaving my front door wide open, traipsed down the stairs and out onto the double-wide sidewalk partitioning off commercial/residential space from the road.

Something snapped back into place.

"What are you doing?"

I dunno. Eatin' muffins/doughnuts and lookin' around. What are you doing?

"Where are your shoes?"

Uh, upstairs. We never wear shoes, don't act like this is something new.

"True, but typically we endeavor upon shoelessness mindfully. We are AWARE and actively CHOOSING to NOT wear shoes. You just plodded down here barely awake."

*eating, thinking about acquiring more food, wondering where everybody is, questioning the validity of his waking state*

"Go back up stairs, write a blog, title it 'Barefoot in The City' and focus on this ambiguity between wakefulness and dreaming."

*nods, heads up stairs*

The static routine that tends to bore and drive toward altered consciousness was absent and instead the unease and desire for stability was prevalent. It would appear I have achieved that. Sitting here, for the past few hours, typing this, has certainly done its part in anchoring me back to what we humans collectively refer to as reality.

Since quieting my minds investigation, a different focal point has emerged. Cyclical behavior. Days, weeks, months, seasons, years.

Cycles. I've done this before. In California. At 19. A theory is beginning to emerge. Perhaps I am destined to repeat my actions endlessly until developing an awareness that supersedes them and allows me to elicit real change.

While my overall progress has spiraled ever upward, that is only from the perspective of a certain vantage point in space. Rotated and taken top-down, I've been moving in circles.

My nonlocal nature is asserting itself as I simultaneously feel like I did as a young teenager living at home, a young adult in California, a twentysomething in my first apartment, how I will likely feel at my modest Vish mansion and in the property I will own in Japan.

It's a very weird, very hard to describe feeling mired in juxtaposition. I feel independent yet lonely. I feel free yet unsure of where to go. Calm and yet somehow confused. Deep inside I know everything will work out, but just below the surface I am anxious to get the show on the road. Sometimes I am so stereotypically human it disgusts me.

This susceptibility to the fickle flow of my mind serves to remind me why I support my own personal marijuana habit. Regular use of cannabis allows me to compartmentalize more efficiently. To definitively enter things into either reality or nonreality. As it stands, when left sober for long periods of time I veer toward the extremes most aim for with psychedelic use. Put simply: When unable to get high via cannabis, I am high all the time. Cannabis does not cancel out my high it merely allows me to schedule to experience it at times when it is more convenient for me to do so.

It would appear that I'm going to keep gravitating to the depths of this valley until my oscillation chooses a side to commit to. While punctuated by periods of perception wherein my immediate involvement is not necessary and the lack of such does not create unrest, overall I keep coming back to the same place. I am continually confronted with having to make a choice. And that choice is represented by a question. A question that is asked in more direct terms in our youth. -- What do you want to be when you grown up? -- At this point along the graph it has take a more broad scope of inclusion. -- What do you want to do?

While when I was younger this question served to torture me, I've grown enough to understand that if that is the main conflict in your life, deciding what you want to do, you are pretty well off. Then, it was something to "solve" or "fix", now, it's just something to think about. To grant dedicated thought to.

I am sure that I will figure everything out and be okay.

I am not sure I am awake.

Setting/Achieving Goals

11.3.11 
Yesterday, a buddy agreed to bring his truck over and to help me move. The truck only had a six foot bed. So, we took a few trips and then called it a night. Thankfully, he arranged to have access to a larger truck for today.

One of things we did manage to move was my couch. Whenever bed time came, I slept on the floor of the partway emptied out place. This morning, when I awoke, my landlords were standing over me. Which, in their defense, is not that creepy cuz a.) I was supposed to be gone on the 31st and b.) I sleep like the dead.

Compounded with that, I accidentally missed work. An entire shift. No-call, no-show. That never looks good.

And yet, despite all that, I had a great time today. Joey Booker helped me move, I have to say, with a raging broner, the dude is the bee's knees. It was like hanging out with myself. Funny, high-energy, full of vitality. I loved it. A grueling experience for most, was a hang-out/story-time for our optimistic asses. Ever the consummate gentlemen he treated me to bacon pizza not once, but TWICE, during our moving ordeal. Once yesterday and once today. I am rather shocked at what it essentially feels like to hang out with me. I almost never want to hang out with a "normal" person ever again. That young man, single-handedly took what was a daunting and somber task and turned into a funtime partytime cakewalk. It was so nice to for once be on the outside looking in. Take a look at dis rah-dikaluss mafucka right here:


Fantastic. I am definitely stoked to hang out with him without the need to ask favors or complete tasks. That kid is goin' places.

A few months back I started walking on my hands again. After breaking my wrist 3 years ago, I was told that I would NEVER again be able to walk on my hands and that I'd possibly never be able to lift weights. When I was granted one more month in my place, I challenged myself to handwalking the entire length of the apartment before I left. DIRECTLY (I have a witness, haha) after moving EVERYTHING out (2 dudes, 2 trips, 5 hrs total) I had Booker record this:


It's kind of amazing to me that I literally did something I was told by medical professionals that I would never do again. I'm having a real hard time not dwelling on the awesomeness of overcoming such a prognosis. Such is the power of Consciousness. Of Intent. If you fully and truly set your mind to something, NOTHING can get in your way.

Booker had to book it somewhat early and I had one last item left to transport. My big corkboard. He was kind enough to drop me off and after completing the handwalk challenge I was up for another hurdle to clear. Unfortunately I was not prepared for reality.

When he dropped me off, and I entered my old apartment, now completely bare except for the corkboard, I was overwhelmed with loneliness and memories. I broke down into tears (rare) and even began talking to myself (INSANELY rare), I eventually gathered my composure and set off on my quest. Not before ungracefully calling my ex and suffering a subsequent text barrage wherein she requested that we cut ties completely. I let the difficulty of the task at hand distract me away from that. I do love a good challenge.

It took me a damn long time to walk it over. I had to switch hands every thirty seconds or so. By the time I'd actually made it to Brookline blvd. it was around midnight and my forearms/hands/shoulders were screaming/burning. That trek was harder than the day of moving and the handwalk challenge combined.

The corkboard ended up serving as as conversation starter/topic of interest. A group of three dudes randomly inquired as to what I was carrying and a conversation developed. The readily available, and visually digestible, collage of all things Vish quickly ingratiated me to them. They were somewhat young and my frank/humorous nature seemed to take them completely by surprise. I spoke candidly about "beatin' ma dick" and then we waxed philosophical on the mathematics of a properly proportioned posterior. Mentions of Alexis Texas, Kristina Rose, Rachel Starr, Pinky, and Kim Kardashian followed. I do so enjoy a good rump.

*pauses to think about bums*

Anyhoo, a cop drove by and told us to keep it down. One of the dudes got lippy. The cop dismissed us and set in on the young buck. Myself and the other two rolled up to my crib where they practically fell in bro-love with me. Topics of discussion ranged from ass to cannabis to martial arts and philosophy. Such an amazing feeling to literally have it be your first day in a new neighborhood and to already be making friends. I offered to smoke them out for free and I hope they take me up on it. The concept seemed quite novel to them, and in our short time I already seemed to have a positive impact on their way of thinking.

Eventually I sent them home though because some buddies contacted me about middle-manning for them. The English language may be direct and nice for spelling out things plainly, but it's somewhat lacking in attaching beauty to events the way more Romantic languages do. There is something quite sublime about smoking for free in the company of people you enjoy. This seems an obvious and oversimplified concept, but there's much more to it than words are capable of communicating.

They came, we blazed, they left.

Shortly thereafter, I got a call from my "old" neighbor to help find her cat. I struck off her way but as I anticipated, the moment I was almost there, I got a call that they had already found the fickle feline. Happy she found 'im I about-faced and headed home, content to categorize the jaunt into the "health and exercise" section.

I was plenty high while walking and the effects of such a state combined with music and physical activity made for a powerful experience. One I usually take for granted. Walking, after such a long physical day, being high and listening to music felt just perfect. I was the master of my own destiny, forming my own path with my own two feet.

When I got back home, the concept of buildings seemed overly simplified.
"It's just outside that's inside is all."
Specifically what brought this revelation on was the stairway up to my new apartment. I live above a couple of businesses and it's pretty evident to me that over time, as things grew closer and closer together, the stairway materialized out of necessity. What was once probably wrought-iron steps on the side of a brick building has become wooden steps inside a building directly next to another building. The "coats" of "growth" seemed more noticeable.

On the way there, the sidewalk width, the road width, business, traffic, people all made perfect sense to me. The organic progress was immediately apparent. Hey people walk here a lot, lay down some concrete. Hey a lot of people walk here, lay down some additional concrete to increase the width of the path.

My buddies that I'd smoke with earlier had been texting me intermittently about ideas for some characters I'd explained to them. The Josh Vish show seems more inevitable than ever. What an absolute blast making it would be.

Another bonus of my new place is free wi-fi. Granted I have to sit dead center in the middle of a room I hadn't planned on using, but hey, it's free. Shutcho mouf n enjoy it, ya silly bitch.

I've waited long enough to publish this that a few days have passed, and with them more adventure/stories have occurred as well.

11.4.11
My old landlords refunded me the utility deposit they asked of me at the beginning of the month. The refund was granted in the form of a single hundred dollar bill.

Look at Ben Franklin. That smug motherfucker. Judging you. His pursed lips and solid stare practically scream "You're a fuckup." His face says, "What are you going to spend me on? It'd better not be petty. I hope you're using me wisely."

Fuck you, Franklin. I'm my own man, I'll spend you on whatever I want. Don't judge me.

And the game is on to figure out how I want to spend it. A vacuum cleaner is at the top of the order because I need one and I really wanna clean this place. I also need food. Decisions, decisions.

Tonight was the Annual After-Halloween Party.
One of the girls hosting it offered to pick me up. She's SUPER cute and nice and even popped my Phantom Fright Nights cherry not too long ago. I was broke as a joke and she picked up the tab. I was tired out of my mind before she suggested the evening but I could not pass it up. And my God am I glad I didn't. What a fun fuckin' time. Being at Kennywood at night is kinda magical. I mean being at Kennywood is in and of itself magical, but compounded with Halloween decorations/lights and workers in costumes, it was surreal. I was sober, but due to my lack of sleep and the novelty of the event it very much felt like one big drawn out psychedelic trip. It was epic. We had a blast for sure.

So when she offered me a ride, I'd just got home from work and she had just clocked out herself and was headed my way. I got in a superquick shower, showed her the place for a little bit and then decided on a "costume". We decided to get some pizza as both of us were hungry as fuck and had plenty of time before the shindig officially began. When we got to her place, the stress of having to set up/clean up was getting to her and I was eager to help. I did what I could yet largely felt ineffective. I communicated this and she told me a way in which I could help. She proffered some duckets and her keys and bade me acquire more beer.

Crew morale was the name of the game so I didn't want to prolong or increase her stress by asking for directions. I drove to where I remembered and then drove the strip back and forth to no avail. I came upon a CVS that I know a good friend lives near and here's where things got really adventurous.

Not finding the beer distributor on my own, I called my buddy and asked if he was home. He was. I asked if he'd come down and guide me to beer. He would. He did. He came down and popped in the car and while guiding me to the suds store told me of my serendipitous/synchronous timing. He and his girl had just ordered Chinese and were about to blaze. --- Sometimes I just really really REALLY love my life. --- So we went and purchased all the necessary provisions and headed back to his place. We headed upstairs and moments later the food arrived. They both insisted on sharing and being financially well off enough, for the first time in a month or so, I was able to throw a few bux their way for hospitality. I think of it less as "paying" them and more like keeping them in business. We smoked, we ate, we chatted. Our time was too brief, but unfortunately ice was melting in the car. They suggested I rock a custom-made Finn hat, and they didn't really need to twist my arm. Indeed, this was already shaping up to be quite The Adventure Time.

Hat in tow, high, beverage and ice in car, I headed to the party. Fortuitously enough I arrived just after the scheduled start point and thankfully many others had already arrived. My entrance wasn't as grand as I'd imagined (Kicking down the door, holding all three cases of beer, both bags of ice, shirtless, barefoot and capped FOR ADVENTURE TIME.) What actually occurred was decent enough though. After comedically interpreting an overhead insult as aimed at me (someone yelled 'slut') I furiously tore off my clothes and began setting up the brews in a bucket. Already the energy had been established. Ladies were starin'/touchin' and I was feelin' great.

A couple of dudes were apparently excited to see me specifically and indeed upon my arrival bromance was thick in the air. I was told that my youtube account and facebook profile were followed closely and that, and I quote, "I don't even fuck with Twitter, because I get everything I need from your facebook." My beard was complimented, as was my physique. The Ego was getting HEAPS of strokes from many different people.

My favorite moment of the evening however had little to do with fitness or appearance. One young man that had already expressed his fondness for my facebook and youtube videos went on to cite my encouraging his decision to quit smoking tobacco as pivotal in the execution of it. Absolute music to my ears. That is one of those bat 'em outta the park moments where something you always want/try to do actually gets done and to a degree beyond what you initially desired. I'm deeply honored and powerfully pleased to have contributed to a person eschewing tobacco use and reclaiming the sanctity of their flesh. Feels good, man.

This young man was also quite eager/excited to smoke cannabis with me. I don't know if you know, but I kinda/sorta enjoy smoking marijuana. I mean, just a little bit. The party was well underway and I was feeling great. Another crowd was indulging in ganja and quite willing  to share, again being able to do so for the first time in a little while, I threw a couple bux their way to pay it forward. To keep 'em in business.

Sometime during all the shenanigans, shirtless bro-antics occurred on the back deck/porch and my innerbro was all too happy to oblige. Rugby, wrestling and other forms of cock-measuring stirred up my age old desire to have a physical equal to play rough with.

Basically the night consisted of enjoying genuine conversations with some, silly ones with others, flirting with girls, bonding with bros, drinking shots and beers, hittin' pipes and blunts, and of course, eatin' snax. Floatin' from room to room makin' people laugh, ogling girls' legs/asses. An absolutely amazing time.

After the night had kinda died down a bit and people began trickling off, one bold young lady bravely swooped in for a few smooches before departing. I cannot stress what an insane Ego-boost this celebration was. I practically feel justified in calling myself a celebrity at this point. Definite positive reinforcement for continued development down this path.

I was hoping to cuddle and maybe a little more with the girl that brought me, but unfortunately she goes hard in the motherfucking paint and was passed out by about 2. I lost her amidst the sea of inebriated individuals that populated her bed/floor. No room for Vish. :(

As serendipity would have it however there was room for Vish in another female's bed. Yes that's correct, I was lucky enough to cap off my night by enjoying some cuddles with a cute/funny/smart girl on her comfy bed. I am indeed just that fortunate. On our way to unconsciousness she brought my youtube knowledge up to speed. She showed/introduced me to some of the funniest shit I have ever seen. A lot of it I can't believe I didn't already know. The funnies were almost (almost) more pleasurable than the cuddling. She also went on to display some of her accomplishments and achievements and I must admit they are noteworthy, I am genuinely intrigued, my interest has been piqued.

11.5.11
In the morning, I pressured her (in the good way) to relax a bit, as she definitely seems to be the workaholic type. It felt so nice to wake up next to a soft body under covers on an actual bed again. When sleeping alone, I prefer a couch/futon, but there's not much in existence that compares to the pleasure of regaining consciousness on what is essentially a giant pillow that's been raised off of the floor with a member of the opposite sex directly sidled up to you.

In another example of my/our "small world" getting smaller, she apparently used to date an increasingly close friend of mine.

I had to go to work, so the girl that brought me, then took me home and was also kind enough to take me directly to work. I worked a super short shift today, the purpose behind it was to practice steaming milk. I'm a barista-in-training and despite what some humble caffeine-slangers say, it's very subtle art. I worked with a new co-worker and we seemed to hit it off pretty well right from the start. Conversation flowed easily and he is exactly where I wanna be when it comes to coffee knowledge. A bona fide connoisseur. I will be shadowing him, and him specifically, closely in the coming weeks. So far I've found two worthwhile work-related mentors there.

On the way home I stopped by Molly's to try their by-the-slice offer and let me just say, WOW what a fantastic product. I am thoroughly pleased and will DEFINITELY return for more. Absolute quality food being serving at that establishment. I woulda taken a picture of those delicious slices of 'za, but alas my phone was dead. Between that and the "hand-pies" I've been purchasing at Pitaland I'm really enjoying my new apartment's location. The proximity to street-food that I can eat on the fly (and for pretty dang cheap) is a huge plus. I've been striking a nice little rhythm of waking up a little bit before work, heading out, spending $3-5 on something I can eat while I walk, eating free food at work and then having my tips from the day recoup and typically exceed the day's expenses. I am more than okay with this. Wake up, have certain amount of money in pocket, buy some food, eat free food, go home with more money than when you came. My net worth is steadily gaining currently and obviously I very much enjoy this.

Tomorrow is my first day off since moving in and I hope to at least establish a basic living area. Kitchen, bathroom and a moderate bedroom set-up. I'll let everything else kinda develop organically as I go. I really don't know how I wanna lay everything out. It's a lot of room for one person. I'm heavily considering having a roommate move in. I don't really wanna unpack too much because history has taught me that I don't typically stay in once place for too long. While the location is ideal, the cleanliness, or lack thereof, has me very much entertaining the thought of moving again after winter. I dunno, we'll see.

Remember, remember! 
The fifth of November, 
The Gunpowder Treason and Plot; 
I know of no reason 
Why the Gunpowder Treason 
Should ever be forgot!

I am, the Consciousness of All That Is.

I would like to explain to you how you are God.

You like to think you are not God, but you are. I promise you.

You want God to be bigger than you, to be "more in control" well worry not, God is. You are. There are 2 perceived forms of yourself. You as you've existed since time immemorial, before birth and after death and the you that's reading this right now at this exact moment.

How did you get here? Why? Why are you reading this? YOU WANT TO.
What are the odds that you'd see this? What are the odds that someone else outside of you would type these things up and then post them for you to see? YOU ARE HERE BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO BE.

This is another form of God, of you, of yourself. I am you and I'm choosing to hold the mirror up for you to See Yourself.

Don't worry. You got this. All of it. It's just a game. One we play when we're tired of being the atoms in a shrew's paw in Nepal in 300 B.C.

Consciousness and human form are a window. Not an absolute value. They're how we observe ourself.

Everything that has happened or ever will happen, has and is here. Now.

You. Your consciousness. Your brain. Your flesh, shuts you away from all that. Focuses you on your "life". Which is not a bad thing. All according to plan. Yours. Mine. Ours. Gods.

Time does not exist, it is a relativistic system for determining position in the macro physical world we live in. Before your birth and after your death you are everywhere and nowhere. Everywhen and nowhen. All at once. Taking human form cancels the majority of that out.

Yes that's right, you read it here. Your existence is a vacation from being Infinity.

Some of us do get homesick though, that's why love (and yes even sex) are so special. And psychedelic drugs. And fame. All ways of reconnecting with Ourself.

You've forgotten it, and you may not want to admit it, even after reading this, but you are God. We all are. That's okay, though. Your ignorance is all a part of the game.

When everyone gets to my level, we have to start over anyway. So plunge forward. Ignorance truly is bliss. But if you're not ignorant, if you've started down the road of questioning, then let me save you the trip. It ends with you realizing that you are EVERYTHING. LITERALLY EVERYTHING. Your life as you lead it now, from behind the eyeballs reading this and the brain processing it, is a calculated move by your Godself to have some fun. Rejoice!

I can't be God, you'll say. You're crazy, you say.

Oh yeah?

Why are you here? No, not on Earth, I mean HERE, reading this. NOW. Just a coincidence? We're friends online and blah blah blah. No. You are here because the me that is you but not actually you was compelled to write this so that actual you can read it. Both parties acted out by God.

If you fear that you're not good enough, or smart enough, or strong enough, find solace in this: You chose to be here.

If there was a pill, or a surgery, or a chant, or a plant, or WHATEVER that could increase your intelligence and strength and such, what would happen if you kept doing it? What if you were granted the unending ability to increase your ability?

Well, eventually you'd become God. And as God, in your new omnipotent omnipresent form you'd deem it necessary that you be banished to a physical body and told nothing of it. Nothing that is, until you read this.

THIS IS YOUR WAKE UP CALL.

If you're still with me at this point, but not agreeing with it,

Think of it like this,

You know those "other" "people" that populate your dreams?

Who are they? They're just in my head, you'll say.

What makes you different than them? Than a squirrel or a bottle of lotion or a discarded corndog stick. One thing. One thing only.

The two most powerful words in existence.

I AM.

The moment you started saying those words, you stepped out of the murk and into the realm of God.

How can you, the you that can't even remember a spouse's birthday or what you had for breakfast last week possibly balance creating whole fully realized individuals inside your brain?

The only difference between "you" and "them" is your ability to say those two all powerful words: I AM.

God is merely the force that asks what asking is.

That neverending thirst for knowledge. That constant need to "get to the bottom of things".

Still don't believe me? Well then think of that one person you've met that seemed super simple at first, even borderline dumb. And then one day you found out they had an ability/interest that borders on idiot savant. This person you initially looked down your nose at now possessing the power to awe you. That's God. That's God nature.

None of us are better than any of us, cuz we're all the same. The only differences here, on this plane, are levels of awareness.

And at the Josh Vish level of awareness, I (we, you) want us to quit killing each other, to stop worrying so much and to simply have fun.

You created yourself/are creating yourself.

WE ARE GOD.

100 Days In Japan (Hopefully)

A chance to go to Japan for 100 days AND GET PAID TO DO IT.
A chance to go to Japan for 100 days and BE PAID TO WRITE ABOUT IT.


This is literally like a once in a lifetime, dream-come-true sorta thing.


"On 24th December 2011, after completing its mission of travelling 100 days and reporting from all over Japan, the Travel Volunteer will transform into Santa Claus and deliver Christmas Presents to displaced children in the Tohoku region!" This is tailor-made for me. I've always wanted to be Santa Claus when I grow up. Santa Claus in Japan? That's so perfect it's scary!

Getting paid to blog... Is this real-life?

I'm filling out the application form now.

I filled out a good portion of the form, but I'm holding off on submitting it because I wanna make sure it's PERFECT. This is a completely sublime chance and I'm not about to let it slide through my fingers thanks to some poor grammar or an incomplete thought. I'm goin' at this samurai style. One slice, one kill. Everything in my entire being. Burning myself up completely and leaving no trace.

I'm going to list all of my Japan related hopes and dreams and put them into the appropriate section on the application. I hope they don't think me too greedy... ^_____^ I have a lot I want to do!

大和魂

Why I should be chosen.

I'm extremely personable. Charismatic, even. I love meeting new people and I get along with just about everyone I meet. Going to Japan has been a long-standing goal of mine and I've been completely engrossed in Japanese culture for well over a decade. I love absolutely everything about Japan. I even hope to pick up more of the language, and I anticipate I'll be able to do so relatively quickly/easily thanks to being fully immersed in Japanese-speaking society. Such a beautiful language. Both spoken and written. Name something Japanese-related, and I'll bet you that I love it. Samurai, sushi/sashimi, anime, video games, martial arts, Nintendo, Ghibli, robots, Zen, manga.

I love eating, working out, , watching movies, playing videogames, photography, writing, blogging, drawing, learning, and of course, learning about Japan!

Another trait that makes me a good candidate for selection is that I regularly maintain a blog now anyway, so it would be an extremely easy transition. I love to write! Especially on the internet! Some other pros to choosing me: I have a job that would understand. I have a safe place for my belongings during the 100 days.

I can't say it enough times and enough ways: This would literally be like a dream coming true for me.

In addition to all of that my birthday is actually on Christmas Eve and I've always wanted to be Santa Claus! I'm rather tall/large and I can grow a beard quickly, we might only need to dye it! To the kids I'll be the real thing!

What is my dream?


Like I've said, THIS literally would be my dream coming true. Getting to go to Japan for free is one thing, but for 100 days and essentially being paid to blog about it? Absolutely perfect. I've also always had what I thought was an unrealistic dream: to one day become Santa Claus. However, seeing as how as part of the package is transforming into Santa and handing out presents to the kids, this too will come true and combine with being in Japan to be simply sublime.


The only way this could fulfill even more of my dreams is if I also learned how to control my ki and fly and then went Super Saiyan! Haha! 


Here is a huge list of things that any one of would fulfill the function of my dream. I'd be happy with absolutely any single one.

- Simply going to Japan.

- Finding, acquiring and learning to wield an authentic Katana.

- Dressing in full Samurai regalia and getting pictures of it.

- Kendo

- Sumo

- Zazen

- Visit and sit in a real authentic onsen, get to wear (and maybe keep) a yukata and zori during/afterward.

- Meeting Akira Toriyama

 - Have him draw me DBZ style, get to keep it.

- Eating superfresh sushi and sashimi, and maybe learning how to slice some.

- Meeting and getting a picture with Shigeru Miyamato.

- Miyazaki Museum

  - Pictures/memorabilia

  - Meeting and getting a picture with Miyazaki.

- Visit Pokemon Center

- Pictures/video of the legendary Shibuya crossing.

 - Akihabra/Harajuku

- Osaka

- Tokyo

- Obtain authentic kimono and hakama. Tabi too.

- Picture of me with Mt. Fuji in background and a cherry blossom tree.

- Meeting and getting a picture with Kentaro Miura.

- I would like to retrace all or at least a portion of Basho's trail.

- Visit the grave sites of Akira Kurosawa and Shunryu Suzuki. (If located in Japan.)

- Meeting and getting a picture with Utada Hikaru.

- DOING THE OSAKA BANG THING!!!

- Learning how samurais and monks shaved their heads. Getting one.

- I would like to impress at least one local with pronunciation.

- Practice a character/phrase with calligraphy.

- Green tea ceremony.

- Aikido.

- A holographic Pikachu a la Hatsune Miku. (That one's for free, Miyamoto-sama. ;D)

- It would be an honor to run the Ninja Warrior course.

- I would like to be on a wacky Japanese game show.

- DRESSING UP AS SANTA CLAUS AND GIVE GIFTS TO ALL THE CHILDREN!!

- Learning to fly!

- Going Super Saiyan!

There is so much I want to do in Japan that this list could go on forever and ever. So I'll summarize again: simply being in Japan will be a dream come true. 

I thank you for taking the time to review my application and I thank you in advance if I am chosen, I promise I will do my very best at exemplifying why everyone should go to Japan. It will sincerely be my pleasure. It already is.