Got Abbey's bus pass and got her parking ticket paid off yesterday. Fell asleep around 5ish, I wanna say?
Woke up at about 1a. Hopefully I can stay up until dark and ease into a responsible sleep schedule before the New Year.
*thump thump* I can feel Japan pulling on me... *thump thump* I can feel it drawing me nearer and nearer...
Turkish Royal + Monster Rehab Peach Tea
To Do:
Regain Bottle Deposit
Laundry
Print Label
Purchase Mailer
Affix Label
Return
Purchase something at CVS for cash back
Laundry
Clean?
Dishes?
Vacuum?
Make Bed?
Shower
Eat
Play with HEAVY BAR??
Stretch??
Shower Dos?
Eat
Hoo boy, it's chillier outside than I expected it to be. Gonna need a meal, shower, and a wardrobe change to get the necessary motivation to brave the elements... OH HOW THE MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN, haha. Why I used to walk barefoot in the snow and--- shhhh, enough about that, don't think about that... don't get ahead of yourself... you'll get back there.... baby steps... give it time...
Gonna flip through the City Paper and hit my post limit on tumblr to get some tabs closed and kill some time warming up.
Get laundry and 'David The Gnome' ready to leave the apartment,
walk laundry down,
continue to CVS for cash back for quarters,
start laundry,
walk to library,
print label,
walk to post office,
send out DTG,
flip laundry into dryer(s,)
see about drinking at the pub...
take it the fuck from there!
HOLY SHIT, NOON. WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU COME FROM?! Nice to see you there!
I might make it til dark and get back on a proper sleep schedule yet!
1:30, okay I think I've killed enough time. Time to get this show on the road...
Smoke
Eat
Shower
Get Dressed
Oh goody! It warmed up a bit! Still pretty chilly aht but not nearly as nippy as it was earlier.
*looks at bare wrist* Wouljda look at the time? It's GRUB-THIRTY.
Mmmmmmm Spinach&Feta Pie from Pita-Land, mmmmm....
Gathered up all the trash.
Just need to take it out, now.
2:13 Showah powah
3 gettin dressed
3:18
gather laundry
take trash out
cvs, monster import, cash back, start laundry, library, print label, post office, purchase mailer, affix label, return DTG, library - get moobies, flip laundry into dryer, pub - hot sausage + high life + rum n' sprite x2 (one for Sarah to congratulate her on her new job,) fold laundry, home.
6:13 considering attending open mic at the pub tonight determined by Abbles energy levels upon returning home....
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
Fall Down Seven Times, Stand Up Eight
 |
| "Fall down seven times, stand up eight." |
Dad, dad, dad... I can hear you, but has your voice grown so dim? Or perhaps has mine grown too loud?
What a night.
Abbey gets home and takes me out to the Brookline Pub. We get hit on, multiple times, NATCHY, and like the nice kiddos that we are we build egos and grant confidence. Oh you sweettalker. Oh you charmer. Oh stop.
We got a free fuckin' bucket o' burr. Miller High Life. Me fav. Hoagies n' beers. Man... this is the fuckin' life fo sho... BUTT it doesn't stop there. See what I did there? Butt? HAHA. Get it?! Like 'but,' butt with two Ts. I'm so fummy. Anyhoo, YOGABUTTS. ALL OUT ON DISPLAY. Barbell pierced nipples on perky little jiggly titties unencumbered by bras... I am so fucking lucky to have a girlfriend that's almost as big of a pervert as me... Older woman wanted Abbey, blatantly. Two young bi or gay bartenders wanted her, OBVIOUSLY, we both had our share of attention from the dudely type but I shared just one bartender with her, the other being a crush by me but clearly crushing on Abs -only- and then a few other (what can I say) lovely young lasses that seemed to fancy gaining my attention and maintain eye contact while engaging in probing conversation.
"Time is on your side so use it wisely to bring others with you on your rise to the top."
I keep hearing this in my head over and over...
七転八起
"It should be 七転び八起き (nana korobi ya oki), but if you want it more concise you could make it 七転八起(sichi ten hatsu ki).
Note:
七 (seven) is pronounced in either nana or sichi.
転 (fall, rotate ...) in either koro(bu) or ten.
八 (eight) in either ya or hachi/hatsu.
起 (rise, stand up ...) in either oki(ru) or qui.
The second one (七転八起) is made up of only Chinese characters, and in this case the different pronunciation is applied to each character, while conveying exactly the same meaning."
弱肉強食 -- (jaku niku kyō shoku)
Literally: The weak are meat; the strong eat.
Meaning: Survival of the fittest.
I need some friends. A team.
Do you want to be on my team?
Oh look! Another beer... how'd this get in my pocket... tee hee... teeheehee... don't worry. It was from the free bucket, that we free-paid for. The one bartender girl brought me another special ($2.25) Coor's Light without my directly asking and then "accidentally" left our bucket of 5 High Lifes (High Lives? - It's a brand though... High Life... plural should be High Lifes... as wrong as that may seem...) off the bill? I'd asked for the bucket shortly after she'd replaced my empty so methinx she felt bad for bringing another without asking what I'd like or if I was done... No harm done though, leaving both the 3rd beer and the entire off the bucket won her a delicious tip and the aim of casual returned service.
*Dane Cook voice a la girls who "just need to dance"* I JUST NEED TO WRITE. I just need it out of me. I don't know how much longer I can let paranoia and past instances of plagiary and thievery beguile me from releasing my secrets into record.
shit. i'm too tired (11:08 -- Abbey's Birthday Hour/Minute) i'ma cuddle up behind her and go asweepies... can't decide if should publish this now and edit tomorrow or edit tomorrow and publish then... perhaps shower........ yes..... shower........
OH SHIT. I HEARD MY AMIIBO ALERT BEEP FROM NOWINSTOCK.NET.
Got a hit for an in stock at Target... for Jiggly puff, initial investigation reveals little, further investigation pending shower...
4.6.15 -- Happy 21st Birthday, Jacob!!
4.7 -- frying fish at 4am. What else would I be doing?
4.7 - 5:56p -- Am I falling behind? Is this too disjointed? Will I be able to edit it together? -SHOULD- I? Why should I?
Listening to 'The Moonlight Sonata.' My all time favorite piece of classical music with 'A Night On Bald Mountain' a very close second.
Windows are open. Fans are on. Most dishes are done. The kitchen is mostly clean. There's still two portions of fried fish in the fridge for later.
I hope Abbey enjoyed her fried mushrooms! ^_______^
Talked with Channing last night. Always what the doctor ordered. Man, I gotta hang out with that kid more.
"Wa (和) or harmony, then, is a key value in Japanese society. One can indeed live a life in the pursuit of individual happiness and self-actualization while at the same time living a life that values being a part of a community and contributing to the society in which one lives."
"Fall down seven times, stand up eight."
Monday, December 14, 2015
It Has Begun
It Has Begun...
Or...
Pre-New Year Resolutions.
8:15a. Just finally dragging myself out of bed to go to the bathroom, been holding it in not just to milk sleep but also to jot a few fots dahn. Will enter them into this entry upon returning.
I want to fly.
Slow down, quiet down, focus.
"The World/Reality Will Chew You Up And Spit You Out."
"Broken [Up] Family."
"I Am Just A Puppet That Can See The Strings."
I want a blue-collar source of income with a white-collar hobby. Not the other way 'round.
CanoPGH - The Canopy Of Pittsburgh? - The Canopy Of The World? Noosphere.
-- CannaPGH -- Locally sourced/made cannabis/coffee energy beverage?
Who I want to be vs. Who I am naturally.
What The Flame Does Not Consume, Consumes The Flame.
I am going to go outside to smoke a Camel Turkish Royal cigarette.
To Do:
>10:30a - Regain 4$ Bottle Deposit from Brookline Beer Distributor for returning my case of Straub 22oz. empties.
Get Abbey's Bus Pass
Print Return Label
Purchase Mailer/Affix Label
Return 'David The Gnome'
Attempt to exchange Greninja, if inapplicable then returned.
** IAmA - AMA - Jesus ver. ** Haha, yeah right!
Got distracted by Mr. Internets as per usual.
9:55a - Going out to smoke aforementioned cig now.
Kinda tired, thought about napping, but life is thankfully keeping me up and awake all on its own. Tryin' hard to surf the wave and ride the momentum....
Gonna finish readin' this one article and then maybe gear up for adventure...
Mr. Tumblrs, you are so distracting!
Talking to my sister via fb messaging about my Uncle Randy's recent passing is really helping me cope with it more. I'm shook and I can seem to focus.
Or...
Pre-New Year Resolutions.
8:15a. Just finally dragging myself out of bed to go to the bathroom, been holding it in not just to milk sleep but also to jot a few fots dahn. Will enter them into this entry upon returning.
I want to fly.
I WANT TO FLY.
Slow down, quiet down, focus.
"The World/Reality Will Chew You Up And Spit You Out."
"Broken [Up] Family."
"I Am Just A Puppet That Can See The Strings."
I want a blue-collar source of income with a white-collar hobby. Not the other way 'round.
CanoPGH - The Canopy Of Pittsburgh? - The Canopy Of The World? Noosphere.
-- CannaPGH -- Locally sourced/made cannabis/coffee energy beverage?
Who I want to be vs. Who I am naturally.
What The Flame Does Not Consume, Consumes The Flame.
I am going to go outside to smoke a Camel Turkish Royal cigarette.
To Do:
>10:30a - Regain 4$ Bottle Deposit from Brookline Beer Distributor for returning my case of Straub 22oz. empties.
Get Abbey's Bus Pass
Print Return Label
Purchase Mailer/Affix Label
Return 'David The Gnome'
Attempt to exchange Greninja, if inapplicable then returned.
** IAmA - AMA - Jesus ver. ** Haha, yeah right!
Got distracted by Mr. Internets as per usual.
9:55a - Going out to smoke aforementioned cig now.
Kinda tired, thought about napping, but life is thankfully keeping me up and awake all on its own. Tryin' hard to surf the wave and ride the momentum....
Gonna finish readin' this one article and then maybe gear up for adventure...
Mr. Tumblrs, you are so distracting!
Talking to my sister via fb messaging about my Uncle Randy's recent passing is really helping me cope with it more. I'm shook and I can seem to focus.
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
I have a briefcase now. Gentlemen, we have some business to attend to.
I have a briefcase now. Gentlemen, we have some business to attend to.
 |
| "What's inside?!" |
Friday, April 3, 2015
4.3 -- AMIIBO HUNTER 「アミーボ ハンター」 -- 5.29 Release Date Confirmed for Wave 4, July for Wave 5, Wave 6 coming in September
**********[5.29.15 Release Date: CONFIRMED]**********
 |
| Pac-Man |
 |
| Wario |
 |
| Robin |
 |
| Lucina |
It would also appear that Best Buy is going to be my best bet. A quick lil wiki-search led to me to the intel that GameStop will be featuring Ness as its exclusive amiibo during the wave 5 release, however GS themselves do not seem to feature this information on their website.
 |
| Jigglypuff in packaging |
 |
| Jigglypuff |
Oh shit! Jigglypuff seems to be a Target exclusive -AND- is going to be available for pre-order! Hurrah! Praise Arceus!
 |
| Jigglypuff 「プリン」 |
Greninja is looking to be a Toys R Us exclusive and pre-orders are looking to currently be sold out..
 |
| Greninja |
Very nice. Lots of time to save, lots of time to plan. It would be really nice to be gainfully employed by then and to be able to afford these on my own...
Also, Lucas has been confirmed as DLC along with the previously known Mewtwo DLC.
Dark Pit and Palutena have been announced for a July release. Ganondorf, Zero-Suit Samus (both of which combined rival the anticipation I had for the Captain Falcon release,) Bowser, Jr., Dr. Mario, and Olimar & Pikmin are all slated for September release supposedly.
Truth Is Said In Jest...
threetwentythree:
"Police officers are typically dressed out in black Gestapo-like uniforms with long overcoats and wearing motorcycle helmets that serve to not only protect the head but to also obfuscate the officers' identities. Through making the police more anonymous an instant distance is created between them and regular citizens, especially the considered enemies of the state, who are simply: people who are still able to feel..."
"Ordo Ab Chao - Deus meumque Jus"
"When you are even with an opponent, it is essential to keep thinking of stabbing him in the face with the tip of your sword in the intervals between the opponent's sword blows and your own sword blows. When you have the intention of stabbing your opponent in the face, he will try to get both his face and body out of the way. In the midst of battle, as soon as an opponent tries to get out of the way, you have already won. Therefore it is imperative not to forget the technique of "stabbing the face." -- Miyamoto Musashi (宮本 武蔵, c. 1584 – June 13, 1645), also known as Shinmen Takezō, Miyamoto Bennosuke or, by his Buddhist name, Niten Dōraku.
"This should be cultivated in the course of practicing martial arts."
Yasuda - yasuda style sushi
nerd
comedian/comic
sumo/martial
artist/fighter/bodybuilder
sushi/sashimi chef/butcher
hunter
gamer/smasher
herbalist/farmer
shaman
artist
writer
actor
filmmaker
photographer - photoblog, no words
STAY IN THE PRESENT
DAILY ACTIVITY THE MOST IMPORTANT
3.24
what if there were no time?
self-cannibalization
the absurd illegality of suicide
"stabbing the face"
no fear of death, but much respect
?the -daily- ten commandments?
ten commandments or ten
restrictions?
The Practical Arts
Food
Clothing
Shelter
Fire
Water
https://youtu.be/ZMByI4s-D-Y
3.25
"You tenacious Goats are famous for climbing with even more determination when the going gets tougher, as if you want to prove that nothing will stop you from reaching the top. Nevertheless, it's challenging to concentrate now if you want to explore every opportunity that arises. Ironically, you might even appear more scattered than you actually are. There's a diabolical method to your madness today, so don't let anyone plant a seed of doubt in your mind.
Believing in yourself is the key toreaching the summit."
3.26
This is -DUMB.- Dis is -SKINKY.-
Where is my Abbey? Why does she have to do all these workytimes to feed me? I will eat less, if it means seeing her more...
So I feel good, more or less, now what?
What's the point of feeling good or of endeavoring so hard to make yourself feel good if there's nothing to be done upon reaching that state?
Helping people in such a way as to embodying "teaching a man to fish" vs. giving him fish.
Making people laugh.
I am here to make you smile.
When you bake a pizza, you eat it.
When you pack a bowl, you smoke it.
When you make happiness, you share it.
There is a sort of 'guilt' or 'shame' that comes with feeling remarkably good. A nagging sense of inadequacy at an inability to transmit the sensation to others. When you are truly happy, you make others happy as well.
When you make others happy, you are truly happy.
WHAT ARE THE MOST DIFFICULT PROBLEMS THAT FACE OTHER PEOPLE THAT THE FORCE OF VISH WOULD BE ABLE TO SOLVE?
7 billion+ individuals
hunger/thirst
disease/sickness
---WHAT ARE YOU LEAVING BEHIND?---
How could I best improve Abbey's life and quality of living?
we think we dream
we dream we think
we think we think
we dream we dream
bored bored bored and lonely
you know you can purchase things directly on/from tumblr now?
what do you have that's worth sharing?
what do you make that's worth sharing?
so bored with everything.
what do I even have to offer...
3.26RO - “For some reason, you will no longer be the person you believed you once were. You'll detect slow and subtle shifts going on all around you, more importantly, shifts in you. Worse, you'll realize it's always been shifting, like a shimmer of sorts, a vast shimmer, only dark like a room. But you won't understand why or how.”
3.26 - "Something profound is coming down the road and as hard as you try to get out of the way, you cannot. Thankfully, physical harm is not likely, yet you may be confronted with the wide gulf between you and your loved ones now. This isn't the time to force a resolution between two people who respond very differently. Instead, stay aware of the feelings that arise, for they reveal where there is work still to be done. Listen to your heart and the mystery will solve itself in its own time."
3.30-4:22pm -- "You are still enjoying the sweet benefits of lovely Venus skipping through your 5th House of Spontaneity. Your involvement in a significant creative project or a new romance may be intensifying, and you're tempted to go overboard as you try to give the performance of your life. This can be quite a memorable day as long as you don't struggle to accomplish the impossible. It's better to thoroughly explore one feeling today than to pursue several different options."
ヒップ
臀部
プッシー
にゃあにゃ
あそこ
プッシユ
my only fears:
myself
grey aliens
trypophobia
wrists
new york city
the fact that memories have been proven to be passed down in DNA most specifically in the case of fear...
Treasure-developed Bangaio, Capcom shooters and fighting games such as Power Stone, Project Justice, Tech Romancer, Mars Matrix and Giga Wing 2, Sega’s own Virtual On: Oratorio Tangram
America Australia Brazil Canada China France Germany India Italy Japan Korea Mexico Netherlands Russia Spain United Kingdom
Thailand? Sweden? Norway? Iceland? Greenland?
Where are the most physically laborious jobs in the world?
Speak down and in to yourself and "Satan."
Speak up and out to yourself and "God."
Faith in God means no need for human interaction or approval.
If you talk to and pay attention to yourself, it's because you believe God's doing a poor job of it.
If you talk to others and listen and pay attention to them, you will hear God.
"Robin (et al, including me) viewed objectively."
さよなら絶望先生
nonfamous, unfamous
oldest kid
youngest man
entelecheia
"In order to become the supreme adult, you must perform the seven wonders:
green graffiti greenfiti?
guerilla warfare, guerilla farming?
anarchist activist?
How would one that aggresively plants things everywhere, regardless of legality, be referred to?
outlaw gardener?
Happy April Fool's Day!
4.1.15 - 3:33p Today will be the last day that I combust cannabis and inhale the resulting smoke until 4.20.
TOLERANCE BREAK: ACTIVATE.
When you stop travelling, you'll arrive.
When you say, "I am here." You'll be there.
4.1-4:01
4.1-4:20
START FROM HERE AND GO FROM THERE.
Lover
Dreamer
Artist
Actor
BodyBuilder
Chef
Trainer
Photographer
Teacher
Fighter
Eater
Gamer
[Joker] Comedian/Comic
Writer
Gonzo Journalist
Fighting Lover, Loving Fighter
THE DAY AFTER THE DAY OF APRIL FOOLS
4.2-4:02p - 4:20p
*Star-Fire voice* "Four hundred and twenty."
Editing, editing... Hoping that amiibo announcement yesterday wasn't a -CRUEL- joke by Nintendo. NOT FUNNY.
4:22p - one of my favorite times of day. 8:22 taking the cake normally. 2:28 a fun close runner up.
Cleaned up a good bit already. Should certainly and will certainly clean more. My life is a mess. Gotta streamline e-mails, social media, stored media, physical media, clothing, furniture, STREAMLINE STREAMLINE STREAMLINE.
So yes then, promptly putting things away, organizing and/or cleaning them, and one of my favorites, getting rid of things! I need to get rid of things!
I need to be more mobile and liquid. I shall endeavor to make as much of my physical possessions liquid assets as possible.
Umbrella, backpack, hat, gloves, scarf, topcoat, undercoat, cardigan, t, thermal, tank, underarmour, belt, underwear, underarmour, knee high toe sox, athletic shorts, black jeans, rowdy, robust, rough n' tumble Vibrams.
4.3
Finally finished Jackie Brown with Abbey last night. I hate watching movies broken up into parts, but I love that I finally got to share one of Quentin's best ever with her.
10:55am
Got a lot accomplished before 10am today. Feeling quite accomplished and rather proud.
A while back our commode chain (the part from the inside of the handle to the plug that pulls up to drain the water into the tank) broke and we'd been lazily using a cleverly placed hanger as a poor substitute. As always seems to be the case in my life, 'Ask and Ye Shall Receive.' Someone, a neighbor, had decided to replace a toilet, apparently, and conveniently enough, happened to leave the old one near our trash. So after kissing Abbey goodbye and seeing her off to work, I ran back upstairs to grab some pliers and then came back down and harvested the chain and the handle. Shortly thereafter I installed them, and bada-bing we have a working handle flush toilet again. Did you hear that? I think I just grew another chest hair. That and/or my beard just got a little longer. Either way, my 'man points' significantly increased today, that's for sure. [+50 to: 'Man Points'] I'm a regular Handy-Man. :)
That's not all, I also cleaned the toilet, the sink, and scrubbed the tub as well.
Dishes are just about done, counter is clean, table is clean, game room is clean, rotated the rug and the coffee table, bedroom is clean.
Should be a nice surprise for her to return home to. ^_______^
saving 10% to give to others. passing on passing on 10% to others. a singular tithe fund with "grants" requiring that 10% be given away.
united tithing
unite tithe
unitithe
consolidating clothing
4.3 - You might try to keep your shrewdly calculating nature in check today, but you can't stop thinking about how to distinguish yourself from the pack. Your ambitions run strong while the evocative Moon is back in your 10th House of Career, bringing out your innate affinity for climbing the ladder of success. However, if you realize that you're being overly aggressive at work, consciously pull in your energy so you can regain a healthier perspective. Time is on your side so use it wisely to bring others with you on your rise to the top.
"Police officers are typically dressed out in black Gestapo-like uniforms with long overcoats and wearing motorcycle helmets that serve to not only protect the head but to also obfuscate the officers' identities. Through making the police more anonymous an instant distance is created between them and regular citizens, especially the considered enemies of the state, who are simply: people who are still able to feel..."
"Ordo Ab Chao - Deus meumque Jus"
"When you are even with an opponent, it is essential to keep thinking of stabbing him in the face with the tip of your sword in the intervals between the opponent's sword blows and your own sword blows. When you have the intention of stabbing your opponent in the face, he will try to get both his face and body out of the way. In the midst of battle, as soon as an opponent tries to get out of the way, you have already won. Therefore it is imperative not to forget the technique of "stabbing the face." -- Miyamoto Musashi (宮本 武蔵, c. 1584 – June 13, 1645), also known as Shinmen Takezō, Miyamoto Bennosuke or, by his Buddhist name, Niten Dōraku.
"This should be cultivated in the course of practicing martial arts."
Yasuda - yasuda style sushi
nerd
comedian/comic
sumo/martial
artist/fighter/bodybuilder
sushi/sashimi chef/butcher
hunter
gamer/smasher
herbalist/farmer
shaman
artist
writer
actor
filmmaker
photographer - photoblog, no words
STAY IN THE PRESENT
DAILY ACTIVITY THE MOST IMPORTANT
3.24
what if there were no time?
self-cannibalization
the absurd illegality of suicide
"stabbing the face"
no fear of death, but much respect
?the -daily- ten commandments?
ten commandments or ten
restrictions?
The Practical Arts
Food
Clothing
Shelter
Fire
Water
https://youtu.be/ZMByI4s-D-Y
3.25
"You tenacious Goats are famous for climbing with even more determination when the going gets tougher, as if you want to prove that nothing will stop you from reaching the top. Nevertheless, it's challenging to concentrate now if you want to explore every opportunity that arises. Ironically, you might even appear more scattered than you actually are. There's a diabolical method to your madness today, so don't let anyone plant a seed of doubt in your mind.
Believing in yourself is the key toreaching the summit."
3.26
This is -DUMB.- Dis is -SKINKY.-
Where is my Abbey? Why does she have to do all these workytimes to feed me? I will eat less, if it means seeing her more...
So I feel good, more or less, now what?
What's the point of feeling good or of endeavoring so hard to make yourself feel good if there's nothing to be done upon reaching that state?
Helping people in such a way as to embodying "teaching a man to fish" vs. giving him fish.
Making people laugh.
I am here to make you smile.
When you bake a pizza, you eat it.
When you pack a bowl, you smoke it.
When you make happiness, you share it.
There is a sort of 'guilt' or 'shame' that comes with feeling remarkably good. A nagging sense of inadequacy at an inability to transmit the sensation to others. When you are truly happy, you make others happy as well.
When you make others happy, you are truly happy.
WHAT ARE THE MOST DIFFICULT PROBLEMS THAT FACE OTHER PEOPLE THAT THE FORCE OF VISH WOULD BE ABLE TO SOLVE?
7 billion+ individuals
hunger/thirst
disease/sickness
---WHAT ARE YOU LEAVING BEHIND?---
How could I best improve Abbey's life and quality of living?
we think we dream
we dream we think
we think we think
we dream we dream
bored bored bored and lonely
you know you can purchase things directly on/from tumblr now?
what do you have that's worth sharing?
what do you make that's worth sharing?
so bored with everything.
what do I even have to offer...
3.26RO - “For some reason, you will no longer be the person you believed you once were. You'll detect slow and subtle shifts going on all around you, more importantly, shifts in you. Worse, you'll realize it's always been shifting, like a shimmer of sorts, a vast shimmer, only dark like a room. But you won't understand why or how.”
3.26 - "Something profound is coming down the road and as hard as you try to get out of the way, you cannot. Thankfully, physical harm is not likely, yet you may be confronted with the wide gulf between you and your loved ones now. This isn't the time to force a resolution between two people who respond very differently. Instead, stay aware of the feelings that arise, for they reveal where there is work still to be done. Listen to your heart and the mystery will solve itself in its own time."
3.30-4:22pm -- "You are still enjoying the sweet benefits of lovely Venus skipping through your 5th House of Spontaneity. Your involvement in a significant creative project or a new romance may be intensifying, and you're tempted to go overboard as you try to give the performance of your life. This can be quite a memorable day as long as you don't struggle to accomplish the impossible. It's better to thoroughly explore one feeling today than to pursue several different options."
ヒップ
臀部
プッシー
にゃあにゃ
あそこ
プッシユ
my only fears:
myself
grey aliens
trypophobia
wrists
new york city
the fact that memories have been proven to be passed down in DNA most specifically in the case of fear...
Treasure-developed Bangaio, Capcom shooters and fighting games such as Power Stone, Project Justice, Tech Romancer, Mars Matrix and Giga Wing 2, Sega’s own Virtual On: Oratorio Tangram
America Australia Brazil Canada China France Germany India Italy Japan Korea Mexico Netherlands Russia Spain United Kingdom
Thailand? Sweden? Norway? Iceland? Greenland?
Where are the most physically laborious jobs in the world?
Speak down and in to yourself and "Satan."
Speak up and out to yourself and "God."
Faith in God means no need for human interaction or approval.
If you talk to and pay attention to yourself, it's because you believe God's doing a poor job of it.
If you talk to others and listen and pay attention to them, you will hear God.
"Robin (et al, including me) viewed objectively."
さよなら絶望先生
nonfamous, unfamous
oldest kid
youngest man
entelecheia
"In order to become the supreme adult, you must perform the seven wonders:
- Public speaking
- Not being afraid of teenagers
- Calling the doctor yourself
- Taxes
- Arguing without crying
- Having a normal sleep pattern
- Having an answer to the question ‘what do you want to do with your life?’"
green graffiti greenfiti?
guerilla warfare, guerilla farming?
anarchist activist?
How would one that aggresively plants things everywhere, regardless of legality, be referred to?
outlaw gardener?
Happy April Fool's Day!
4.1.15 - 3:33p Today will be the last day that I combust cannabis and inhale the resulting smoke until 4.20.
TOLERANCE BREAK: ACTIVATE.
When you stop travelling, you'll arrive.
When you say, "I am here." You'll be there.
4.1-4:01
4.1-4:20
START FROM HERE AND GO FROM THERE.
Lover
Dreamer
Artist
Actor
BodyBuilder
Chef
Trainer
Photographer
Teacher
Fighter
Eater
Gamer
[Joker] Comedian/Comic
Writer
Gonzo Journalist
Fighting Lover, Loving Fighter
THE DAY AFTER THE DAY OF APRIL FOOLS
4.2-4:02p - 4:20p
*Star-Fire voice* "Four hundred and twenty."
Editing, editing... Hoping that amiibo announcement yesterday wasn't a -CRUEL- joke by Nintendo. NOT FUNNY.
4:22p - one of my favorite times of day. 8:22 taking the cake normally. 2:28 a fun close runner up.
Cleaned up a good bit already. Should certainly and will certainly clean more. My life is a mess. Gotta streamline e-mails, social media, stored media, physical media, clothing, furniture, STREAMLINE STREAMLINE STREAMLINE.
So yes then, promptly putting things away, organizing and/or cleaning them, and one of my favorites, getting rid of things! I need to get rid of things!
I need to be more mobile and liquid. I shall endeavor to make as much of my physical possessions liquid assets as possible.
Umbrella, backpack, hat, gloves, scarf, topcoat, undercoat, cardigan, t, thermal, tank, underarmour, belt, underwear, underarmour, knee high toe sox, athletic shorts, black jeans, rowdy, robust, rough n' tumble Vibrams.
4.3
Finally finished Jackie Brown with Abbey last night. I hate watching movies broken up into parts, but I love that I finally got to share one of Quentin's best ever with her.
10:55am
Got a lot accomplished before 10am today. Feeling quite accomplished and rather proud.
A while back our commode chain (the part from the inside of the handle to the plug that pulls up to drain the water into the tank) broke and we'd been lazily using a cleverly placed hanger as a poor substitute. As always seems to be the case in my life, 'Ask and Ye Shall Receive.' Someone, a neighbor, had decided to replace a toilet, apparently, and conveniently enough, happened to leave the old one near our trash. So after kissing Abbey goodbye and seeing her off to work, I ran back upstairs to grab some pliers and then came back down and harvested the chain and the handle. Shortly thereafter I installed them, and bada-bing we have a working handle flush toilet again. Did you hear that? I think I just grew another chest hair. That and/or my beard just got a little longer. Either way, my 'man points' significantly increased today, that's for sure. [+50 to: 'Man Points'] I'm a regular Handy-Man. :)
That's not all, I also cleaned the toilet, the sink, and scrubbed the tub as well.
Dishes are just about done, counter is clean, table is clean, game room is clean, rotated the rug and the coffee table, bedroom is clean.
Should be a nice surprise for her to return home to. ^_______^
saving 10% to give to others. passing on passing on 10% to others. a singular tithe fund with "grants" requiring that 10% be given away.
united tithing
unite tithe
unitithe
consolidating clothing
4.3 - You might try to keep your shrewdly calculating nature in check today, but you can't stop thinking about how to distinguish yourself from the pack. Your ambitions run strong while the evocative Moon is back in your 10th House of Career, bringing out your innate affinity for climbing the ladder of success. However, if you realize that you're being overly aggressive at work, consciously pull in your energy so you can regain a healthier perspective. Time is on your side so use it wisely to bring others with you on your rise to the top.
Saturday, March 21, 2015
3.21.15 - Spiritual Colorblindness
What if I told you there was a whole world of "color" out there that you weren't able to see? Well, naturally, being a part of our "I'll believe it when I see it." culture, you likely wouldn't believe me.
What if I told you that "color" and "colorblindness" were mere metaphors and symbols for an entire realm of perception just beyond your grasp?
Would you believe me?
Would you trust me?
How could you know if there were no linguistic way to communicate it to you and no possible way of direct perception?
I ask you to put on these "Special Glasses" and to learn to see the world the way that I do. Connected. One. More uniting us than dividing us. Where the majority typically perceive separateness and division, I only see unity. Moreover, I have no clue how this is not 1) painfully blatantly obvious to everyone else and 2) I have no clue how to effectively transmit my perception to those not already in possession of it.
It's going to take a leap of faith.
You're just going to have to believe...
Maybe one day, you will see...
Until then, you're just going to have to take my word for it.
Tjúguskegg
3.17
"The innocent side of love is captivating to you these days. Although you are ready to reduce the complexity of your life, downsizing is more challenging than it sounds. Nevertheless, walking away from a stressful situation might be part of the larger plan. But this is not the time for a Houdini-like disappearing act; instead, you are learning the subtleties of patience. Romance need not be a house of cards held up by fantasy; a down-to-earth approach to love is more likely to result in a happy heart."
3.19
"Your life seems to be working out just as it should now, but for some unknown reason you still secretly wonder if everything is going to be okay in the long run. This odd juxtaposition tells a story of what can happen if you hide your feelings from those you love. Even if you have a clear view of your path ahead, sometimes it's hard to know the best way to reach your destination. Don't let go of your vision of the future. Focusing on your goals enables you to find your way when you feel overwhelmed. Sharing a burden makes it lighter to bear."
3.20
"You prefer having your day mapped out in detail, but your current schedule won't likely withstand the shifting pressures. Unfortunately, even your most sensible plans will be turned upside down today because the Pisces Solar Eclipse rocks your 3rd House of Immediate Environment. Crossed messages may contribute to delays or even a cancellation of a scheduled event, prompting you to think deeply about how you spend your leisure time. Rolling with the unexpected waves of change allows you to turn any setback into an exciting opportunity."
I will now be drawing myself into all of my favorite series as my favorite character(s.) You're going to have to deal with this so you might as well enjoy it.
"The Way of the Samurai is, morning after morning, the practice of death, considering whether it will be here or be there, imagining the most sightly way of dying, and putting one’s mind firmly in death. Although this may be a most difficult thing, if one will do it, it can be done. There is nothing that one should suppose cannot be done."
"Almost all animals who survive external hazards to their biological functioning eventually die from biological aging, known in life sciences as “senescence”. Some organisms experience negligible senescence, even exhibiting biological immortality. These include the jellyfish Turritopsis dohrnii, the hydra, and the planarian."
"As scientific knowledge and medicine advance, a precise medical definition of death becomes more problematic."
"The concept of death is a key to human understanding of the phenomenon. There are many scientific approaches to the concept. For example, brain death, as practiced in medical science, defines death as a point in time at which brain activity ceases. One of the challenges in defining death is in distinguishing it from life. As a point in time, death would seem to refer to the moment at which life ends. However, determining when death has occurred requires drawing precise conceptual boundaries between life and death. This is problematic because there is little consensus over how to define life. This general problem applies to the particular challenge of defining death in the context of medicine. It is possible to define life in terms of consciousness. When consciousness ceases, a living organism can be said to have died. One of the notable flaws in this approach, however, is that there are many organisms which are alive but probably not conscious (for example, single-celled organisms). Another problem is in defining consciousness, which has many different definitions given by modern scientists, psychologists and philosophers. Additionally, many religious traditions, including Abrahamic and Dharmic traditions, hold that death does not (or may not) entail the end of consciousness. In certain cultures, death is more of a process than a single event. It implies a slow shift from one spiritual state to another.
Other definitions for death focus on the character of cessation of something. In this context "death" describes merely the state where something has ceased, for example, life. Thus, the definition of "life" simultaneously defines death. Historically, attempts to define the exact moment of a human's death have been problematic. Death was once defined as the cessation of heartbeat (cardiac arrest) and of breathing, but the development of CPR and prompt defibrillation have rendered that definition inadequate because breathing and heartbeat can sometimes be restarted. Events which were causally linked to death in the past no longer kill in all circumstances; without a functioning heart or lungs, life can sometimes be sustained with a combination of life support devices, organ transplants and artificial pacemakers. Today, where a definition of the moment of death is required, doctors and coroners usually turn to "brain death" or "biological death" to define a person as being dead; people are considered dead when the electrical activity in their brain ceases. It is presumed that an end of electrical activity indicates the end of consciousness. However, suspension of consciousness must be permanent, and not transient, as occurs during certain sleep stages, and especially a coma. In the case of sleep, EEGs can easily tell the difference. However, the category of "brain death" is seen by some scholars to be problematic. For instance, Dr. Franklin Miller, senior faculty member at the Department of Bioethics, National Institutes of Health, notes: "By the late 1990s, however, the equation of brain death with death of the human being was increasingly challenged by scholars, based on evidence regarding the array of biological functioning displayed by patients correctly diagnosed as having this condition who were maintained on mechanical ventilation for substantial periods of time. These patients maintained the ability to sustain circulation and respiration, control temperature, excrete wastes, heal wounds, fight infections and, most dramatically, to gestate fetuses (in the case of pregnant "brain-dead" women)." Those people maintaining that only the neo-cortex of the brain is necessary for consciousness sometimes argue that only electrical activity should be considered when defining death. Eventually it is possible that the criterion for death will be the permanent and irreversible loss of cognitive function, as evidenced by the death of the cerebral cortex. All hope of recovering human thought and personality is then gone given current and foreseeable medical technology. However, at present, in most places the more conservative definition of death – irreversible cessation of electrical activity in the whole brain, as opposed to just in the neo-cortex – has been adopted (for example the Uniform Determination Of Death Act in the United States). In 2005, the Terri Schiavo case brought the question of brain death and artificial sustenance to the front of American politics. Even by whole-brain criteria, the determination of brain death can be complicated. EEGs can detect spurious electrical impulses, while certain drugs, hypoglycemia, hypoxia, or hypothermia can suppress or even stop brain activity on a temporary basis. Because of this, hospitals have protocols for determining brain death involving EEGs at widely separated intervals under defined conditions."
"People found unconscious under icy water may survive if their faces are kept continuously cold until they arrive at an emergency room. This "diving response", in which metabolic activity and oxygen requirements are minimal, is something humans share with cetaceans called the mammalian diving reflex."
crazypersonthought: we have to return to the oceans....
The True Age Of Aquarius: The Return To Atlantis
Where are the most water-adapted humans on the planet, today?
[Mammalian Diving Reflex]
Aqua Sapiens sapiens
"Bradycardia is the first response to submersion. Immediately upon facial contact with cold water, the human heart rate slows down ten to twenty-five percent. Seals experience changes that are even more dramatic, going from about 125 beats per minute to as low as 10 on an extended dive. Slowing the heart rate lessens the need for bloodstream oxygen, leaving more to be used by other organs. Last is the blood shift that occurs only during very deep dives. When this happens, organ and circulatory walls allow plasma/water to pass freely throughout the thoracic cavity, so its pressure stays constant and the organs aren't crushed. In this stage, the lungs' alveoli fill up with blood plasma, which is reabsorbed when the animal leaves the pressurized environment. This stage of the diving reflex has been observed in humans (such as accomplished freediver Bret Gilliam) during deep (over 90 metres or 300 ft) dives."
[Underwater Vision] -- Seeing underwater... FUN FACT: without my glasses or contacts, and with only goggles, I have perfect 20/20 under water. Beyond 20/20, actually, it's more akin to the movie 'Senseless.' I can see every pore and goose-pimple on someone an Olympic length away.
Accidentally on purpose.
On purpose, accidentally.
3.20.15 -- Happy Birthday, Mr. Rogers! -- Fred Rogers would have turned 87 years old today. -- Fred McFeely Rogers (March 20, 1928 – February 27, 2003)
Mister Vish's Neighborhood?
Mr. Vish's 'Hood?
How to impact/influence/educate/entertain children whilst doing the same with teenagers/young adults?
How do you account for sexuality, entheogens and intoxicants, violence, the concept of death?
Mr. V
Mister V
Mischievous Mystery
"Rogers was red–green color blind, swam every morning, and neither smoked nor drank."
*ahem* Vish!
"In 1963, Rogers moved to Toronto, where he was contracted by the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC) to develop his debut in front of the camera, the 15-minute children's program Misterogers, which though popular with children ran just three seasons."
*AH-AH-AH-AHEM* VISH!!!
"Rogers also believed in not acting out a different persona on camera compared to how he acted off camera, stating that "One of the greatest gifts you can give anybody is the gift of your honest self. I also believe that kids can spot a phony a mile away.""
"All of us have special ones who have loved us into being. Would you just take, along with me, ten seconds to think of the people who have helped you become who you are. Ten seconds of silence."
X-Rated Mister Rogers
Rated V for Vish
"On New Year's Day 2004, Michael Keaton, who had been a stagehand on Mister Rogers' Neighborhood before becoming an actor, hosted the PBS TV special Fred Rogers: America's Favorite Neighbor."
Searchable shows. sometimes streaming
mister vish neighborhood
mister v talk
mister vish on record
mr v on record
mr v and you
vish us
here&now
MAKE FEEDING YOURSELF AND OTHERS, FUN.
MAKE FEEDING YOURSELF AND OTHERS SYNONYMOUS WITH FUN.
THE FUNNEST ASSEMBLY LINE EVER CONCEIVED.
Food Dance.
"Mindfulness is a popular buzzword that most of us associate with meditation, yoga and spirituality, although its definition in popular culture can be loose and subjective. In experimental psychology, the word is more rigorously defined as controlled attentiveness, a deliberate “awareness of what is happening in the present moment.”"
"Mindfulness “facilitates the acceptance of things as they occur.”"
"Good health is simply the slowest way a human being can die."
Memento Mori
"1. Everyone must die...
2. The remainder of our life span is decreasing continually.
3. Death will come regardless of whether or not we have made time to practice the dharma.
4. Human life expectancy is uncertain.
5. There are many causes of death.
6. The human Body is very fragile.
7. Our wealth cannot help us.
8. Our loved ones cannot help.
9. Our body cannot help."
"Light Grey"
Lawful Neutral + Chaotic Good
"greydient"
Watch/listen to the entire thing entirely in its entirety or do us a both a favor and refrain from speaking to me forever.
"I and The Father are One. He who has seen me has seen The Father. Before Abraham was, I am. I am The Way and The Truth and The Life. I am The Resurrection and The Light." - [You Are, Too.]
"Wake Up EveryBody, and Find Out Who You Are."
"-A- Son Of God." - "Of The Nature Of God." -- We Are All Divine. EveryThing Is Divine.
"What happened was, this being blasphemy for the Jews, it became blasphemy for the Christians for anyone else [other] than Jesus to say it. They said 'Okay, baby, it was so with you, but there it stops! No more of this business!' And as a result of that, Jesus was made irrelevant by Pedastalization, by Being Kicked Up-Stairs. In spite of the fact that He said, "Greater works than these, that I do, shall you do." 'Oh no, upstairs with you, baby. Because we just can't have that sorta thing going on in a Monarchical Universe. We're not gonna have democracy in the Kingdom Of Heaven.'"
"Be not anxious for the morrow."
"Do not worry about what you shall eat and what you shall drink and what you shall wear, God'll take care of you. Doesn't He take care of the birds? Don't the flowers grow? They're wonderful, they're crazy, they're great! What are you worrying about?!"
"the only serious philosophical problem is whether or not to commit suicide"
"Yes, Boredom is of course -The- Problem."
"Boredom is the Other Side of Creativity. And the energy of Creation, that is the Yang, the Yin side of that energy is called Boredom. Everything is of course fundamentally Yang and Yin, if you understand that, you really don't need to understand anything else."
-- --The- Authority.-
3.21.15 -- "You're less interested in gaining recognition for your efforts today than you are in developing your potential. There is a deeper message that taskmaster Saturn is teaching you now and it's not about being admired or appreciated. In fact, you might be disappointed at first if your well-intended actions go unnoticed. Continue to do the best you can in all endeavors. Seeing your game improve is more rewarding now than anything else."
Please permit me an indefinite amount of time to sit still, breathe, and be quiet.
"Oh Buddhas and Bodhisattvas abiding in all directions,
Endowed with great compassion,
Endowed with foreknowledge,
Endowed with divine eye,
Endowed with love,
Affording protection to sentient beings,
Please come forth through the power of your great compassion,
Please accept these offerings, both actually presented and mentally created.
Oh Compassionate Ones, you who possess
The wisdom of understanding,
The love of compassion,
The power of doing divine deeds,
And of protecting in incomprehensible measure,
[...................................] is passing from this world to the next,
[He/she] is taking a great leap,
The light of this world has faded for [him/her],
[He/she] has entered solitude with their karmic forces,
[He/she] has gone into a vast silence,
[He/she] is borne away by the great ocean of birth and death ..…
Oh Compassionate Ones, protect [......................] who is defenceless. Be to [him/her] like a mother and father.
Oh Compassionate Ones, let not the force of your compassion be weak, but aid them.
Let [...........................] not go into the miserable states of existence.
Forget not your ancient vows."
I wish Abbey would get home already...
Friday, March 13, 2015
Vish!
"An artist is a person who performs certain things skillfully but doesn't really know how he does it."
"An artist is a person who performs certain things skillfully but doesn't really know how he does it. You learn art by methods that you don’t know how you learn."
VISH
short for vicious circle...
I hear an owl outside my bedroom window...
"Do you know a game called "Vish?" What you do is, everybody has a standard Webster's college dictionary, you sit round a table, and then there's a hat and you pull out, somebody pulls out a word, and everybody looks the word up, then they write down on a pad, the keywords and the definition of that word, then they start looking them up, and the first person who gets back to the original word calls out "Vish," short for "vicious circle" and he wins the round. And the referee, there's always a referee, he decides whether you worked fairly, whether you didn't take an illegitimate shortcut."
"The UnSpeakable World.
Unspeakable also means disreputable..."
"All such philosophers should play Vish. Each player is given a copy of the same dictionary. A referee draws a word from a hat, and immediately the players look it up, take a key word from the definition and look that up, and so on. The first player to get back to the original word calls out "Vish!" (vicious circle), and the referee checks his steps to be sure they are legitimate."
"churches are sexual regulation societies."
Talk:Vish_(game)
Vish (Game) -- "In the game of Vish (short for vicious circle), players compete to find circularity in dictionary definitions. Irish mathematician and physicist, John Lighton Synge, invented the multi-player, refereed game to emphasize the circular reasoning implicit in the defining process of any standard dictionary."
"All such philosophers should play Vish." - Alan Wilson Watts (In My Own Way: An Autobiography)
*ahem*
VISH!
"An artist is a person who performs certain things skillfully but doesn't really know how he does it. You learn art by methods that you don’t know how you learn."
VISH
short for vicious circle...
I hear an owl outside my bedroom window...
"Do you know a game called "Vish?" What you do is, everybody has a standard Webster's college dictionary, you sit round a table, and then there's a hat and you pull out, somebody pulls out a word, and everybody looks the word up, then they write down on a pad, the keywords and the definition of that word, then they start looking them up, and the first person who gets back to the original word calls out "Vish," short for "vicious circle" and he wins the round. And the referee, there's always a referee, he decides whether you worked fairly, whether you didn't take an illegitimate shortcut."
"The UnSpeakable World.
Unspeakable also means disreputable..."
"All such philosophers should play Vish. Each player is given a copy of the same dictionary. A referee draws a word from a hat, and immediately the players look it up, take a key word from the definition and look that up, and so on. The first player to get back to the original word calls out "Vish!" (vicious circle), and the referee checks his steps to be sure they are legitimate."
"churches are sexual regulation societies."
 |
| "Each player is given a copy of the same dictionary. A referee draws a word from a hat, and immediately the players look it up, take a key word from the definition and look that up, and so on. The first player to get back to the original word calls out "Vish!" (vicious circle), and the referee checks his steps to be sure they are legitimate." |
 |
| "meaning never enters into his game. All such philosophers should play Vish. Each player is given a copy of the same dictionary. A referee draws a word from a hat, and immediately the players look it up, take a key word from the definition and look that up, and so on. The first player to get back to the original word calls out "Vish!" (vicious circle), and the referee checks his steps to be sure they are legitimate." |
The Most Highly Skillful Art Of All
Talk:Vish_(game)
Vish (Game) -- "In the game of Vish (short for vicious circle), players compete to find circularity in dictionary definitions. Irish mathematician and physicist, John Lighton Synge, invented the multi-player, refereed game to emphasize the circular reasoning implicit in the defining process of any standard dictionary."
"All such philosophers should play Vish." - Alan Wilson Watts (In My Own Way: An Autobiography)
Learning The Human Game
VISH!
Thursday, March 12, 2015
[HER]E
I didn't always have a name for this feeling. When I was younger and awake in the middle of the night and alone I would get this "feeling." I didn't always know to call it "happy" or "sad." It wasn't until I spoke of it to other people that I heard it referred to as 'happy' or 'sad.' Some said, 'happy.' Others said, 'sad.' I didn't know what it was called then, I don't know what it's called now. Here. Presence. Being. Now. Awareness.
Maybe.
"This feeling" will do. It always has. Why name it, when I can feel it?
Un-name your feelings. Don't name your feelings. FEEL them.
The inextricable blur betwixt pain and pleasure is best felt and experienced rather than dissected and analyzed.
I don't know what I am feeling but I know that I am feeling.
It's hard for me to be quiet. It's hard for me to sit still.
I am going to attempt to have a conversation with myself.
I am having a conversation with myself.
There, realizing it was all it took. That wasn't so hard, now was it?
No. You know what I mean.
You?
I know what I mean. Humor me. Humor your self.
I am humoring myself.
I am having a conversation with myself.
*sit*
*flick*
*inhale*
*exhale*
*twist*
*sip*
*swallow*
*sit*
If only I could type as fast as I can think. I'd settle for even as fast as I talk.
I should probably go to bed.
That would be responsible.
That's the responsible thing to do.
Maintain a good sleep schedule.
Be a good little human.
Oh wait. No off button on this thing. Just sorta have to wait it out...
Sleeping isn't want I wanted initially anyway. I wanted to have a good think. I wanted to record myself thinking. Doing a pretty decent, tip-of-the-iceberg style, job of it presently, I'd say. Posture needed reassessed. As did laptop placement. All comfy like now.
I wanted to type this and then read a catalog I got in the mail today. Followed by
HER 6 AM ALARM IS GOING OFF
FUCK THIS SHIT. ABBEY IS AWAKE. TIME TO HANG OUT WITH HER.
Maybe.
"This feeling" will do. It always has. Why name it, when I can feel it?
Un-name your feelings. Don't name your feelings. FEEL them.
The inextricable blur betwixt pain and pleasure is best felt and experienced rather than dissected and analyzed.
I don't know what I am feeling but I know that I am feeling.
It's hard for me to be quiet. It's hard for me to sit still.
I am going to attempt to have a conversation with myself.
I am having a conversation with myself.
There, realizing it was all it took. That wasn't so hard, now was it?
No. You know what I mean.
You?
I know what I mean. Humor me. Humor your self.
I am humoring myself.
I am having a conversation with myself.
*sit*
*flick*
*inhale*
*exhale*
*twist*
*sip*
*swallow*
*sit*
If only I could type as fast as I can think. I'd settle for even as fast as I talk.
I should probably go to bed.
That would be responsible.
That's the responsible thing to do.
Maintain a good sleep schedule.
Be a good little human.
Oh wait. No off button on this thing. Just sorta have to wait it out...
Sleeping isn't want I wanted initially anyway. I wanted to have a good think. I wanted to record myself thinking. Doing a pretty decent, tip-of-the-iceberg style, job of it presently, I'd say. Posture needed reassessed. As did laptop placement. All comfy like now.
I wanted to type this and then read a catalog I got in the mail today. Followed by
HER 6 AM ALARM IS GOING OFF
FUCK THIS SHIT. ABBEY IS AWAKE. TIME TO HANG OUT WITH HER.
Saturday, March 7, 2015
男の人は食べています。
男の人は食べています。
I can breathe again.
SomeThing Happening Last Night.
SomeThing Changed Last Night.
A Return To Me.
Healed. Recovered.
I've been sick for about a week now. Real nasty cough compounded with really congested sinus. I'm no slouch. Rest. Fluids. Spicy Food. It's been slow goin', which is not something I'm used to. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Usually my inhuman immune system renders any sickness void in fewer than 72 hours. Not this time around. Perhaps it was to reacquaint me with my humanity or perhaps there was a reason for it well beyond that.
I had some pretty dense dreams last night, and unlike usually where I can recall every minute detail with perfect clarity, last night's subconscious shenanigans were quite blurry. I can only recall bits and pieces. Again, I can really only refer to this feeling as "human." This is what it's like for the rest of you guys, huh? My goodness I can see how frustrating that would be. I often take my gifts for granted, this being one of them. Being a serial (and often unwanted) lucid dreamer the grass of non-lucid dreams seems greener. It's just different grass is all. You guys are jealous of my ability to control and remember my dreams. I was jealous of you lot for having dreams independent of conscious control that fade upon waking. Indeed it was and is a major reason I supplement with cannabis. It dampens the intensity and amount of dreams I dream during the night and pushes them from my mind faster when I awake.
You desire the ability to control and recall, I desire the ability to participate and forget.
Well, this is one instance where I'm missing my natural set of attributes and feeling stymied by my seeming inability to consciously reactivate them.
One day perhaps, once and for all, I will do myself and the world a favor and empirically determine which grass is actually greener. Until then, I'm content to discuss shades and hues and appreciate the differences therein.
The portions of last night's mental magic that I've got a hold on are fragmented, illusory and too vague to be immediately interpreted. Granted that does not dictate that some parts are quite easy to break down amid easily replaying them.
In no particular order, I remember 3 "main" "parts."
There was a monstrously high and tall corporate building that two men worked in or maybe were just meeting in. I say "there was" because I had no direct connection to either of them, nor did I experience any of this "part" from either of their first person perspectives. I was more just a roving observer taking it in. Lacking my usual lush and descriptive language I am going to have to do my best to paint a picture in your mind missing the colors and brushes used to paint them in the first place. There was some sort of a tension to their meeting and it seemed to be a high-stakes one. The one guy I can clearly remember and describe as basically muscular Greg from Dharma and Greg, wearing black slacks and shoes and a light blue button-down rebelliously rolled at the sleeves and worn with no tie or jacket. In the dream this carried the nuance of only him being permitted to dress in this manner in a hypocritical, unspoken, and tenuous way.
There was another man, looking very similar, but tanner, shorter and far more ripped. In the face I seem to recall him looking a lot like the other guy, but the details are, reluctantly, admittedly, hazy. So in the sake of brevity a fitting description might be slightly-latino Greg from Dharma and Greg, haha.
They were discussing things in a very heated yet relaxed manner, as most high-level board-room conversations between two high-powered executives are conducted in real life. A dueling banjoes dynamic began to develop as each tried to one-up the others' proposal or idea, and the longer this continued the more sexual tension began to build. Eventually, as somewhat anticipated at this point the conversation devolved into direct comparisons of appearance. They fiercely named the muscles and movements responsible for their development in an attempt to impress and overwhelm the other to no avail. They punctuated such observations with others about clothing and its source and cost.
The "climax" of this "dream-scene" was represented in a urgent embrace from Greg to Latino-Greg to which Latino-Greg promptly, gently yet firmly cautioned "You're being bossy." In retrospect, that moment changes the rest of the way I remember Greg's initial character. Indeed retroactively his whole personality seems tainted by this exchange. Prior to this point the powerplay dynamics asserting themselves seemed openly tipped in Greg's favor, at this point however it was clear that Latino-Greg had been "in charge" the whole time.
After a rapidfire exchange of boasting one's own qualities while attempting to point out the other's in a way that highlighted one's own, they moved closer and began more intensely examining one another's sartorial choices in the same fierce way they'd been highlighting one another's flesh-suits.
The "true climax" of this moment came when after a compliment on his pectorals from L-G, G un-buttoned his shirt as if to say "Yes. Revel in them and be overtaken by them!" L-G didn't bat an eye as he deftly flicked the button necessary to reveal his own rippling chest, to which G was very much unable to hide the fact that he was genuinely impressed. That prompted the situation to come to a head and Greg tenderly embraced Latino-Greg's neck and upper shoulders in a searching manner preceding a kiss. Latino-Greg neither moved no reciprocated, rather he issued the stern "You're being bossy." Which caused a stern Greg to immediately recoil and recoup. Unable to decide whether he was dejected or intrigued, the character's pacing back and forth in distance from the other's represents the subtle waves washing ashore and flowing back out to sea way in which the memory breaks down and fades away for me.
The symbolism in this one is the most easily read for me. Recently I excised one toxic relationship from my life whilst reuniting with a beneficial one unfortunately moved away from some time ago. In short, I traded one player for another.
Clearly this scene was merely an on-the-nose metaphor for the power play dynamics between myself and these two other men. Less clear however is who was represented by whom, and for what amount of time. Like I advise most of you coming to me for dream interpretation, I must simply not think on it directly and allow myself to subconsciously search through it as I go about my day. A lot easier said than done! I'll keep that in mind next time I'm downplaying its difficulty!
The other 2 main acts are far more disjointed and ambiguous still. As such, my descriptions of them will be fittingly brief and woefully underdeveloped.
At one point I was on a different version of earth or perhaps a rare corner of the actual globe covered in resort and obstacle-course style trappings. Honestly, a pretty typical dream setting for me that I've come to anticipate and have grown quite familiar and comfortable with. Another familiar theme is that it began being invaded by "others." Unlike normally where I could plainly describe them, a blurry sorta-aliens-or-sorta-insects-or-sorta-monsters-or-something-but-definitely-not-humans is really the best I can do! They swarmed upon the resort and most fled or were shot down. A HUD appeared and whether it was self-generated and percieved or a feature from the resort remains to be seen or known, a beeping and red highlight along with awareness of peripheal vision warned me of an "Invader" coming in hot on my 3 o'clock, and unlike normally where I manifest some sort of strength, weapon, or magic, I winced and covered up and crouched in fear. This is not in and of itself unique or ground-breaking as many of my nightmares are categorized not by gore, pain, or dying but by rather not knowing how or refusing to fight back. THAT for me is the true nightmare. This was no different. However in this "nightmare moment" I did something I'm not sure I've done since I was a kid. I "paused" the dream. I spontaneously became lucid and froze the rest of the action into a 3D diorama I was free to navigate at my whim. Hence why I can recall this part with so much clarity. I "woke up." Not enough to open my physical eyes in reality but just enough to bring me back to center on my character overlapping reality and non-reality. I do not cower. I do not fear. I am Josh Vish. I do not back down. I fight back. Consciously holding all that in mind, I unpaused and promptly decked the offending Invader out of the air and several hundred feet away. From that point on the action/visuals fade into a standard battle being won by one side possessing a mighty warrior doing most of the work.
The symbolism best ascertained from this is "believe in yourself and you will be capable of great things." If you cower in fear, then you will be cowardly and afraid. If you stand and fight, then even if you fall, you will be brave and strong.
As almost a subset of the above, the other snippet was illustrating a similar theme in a re-mixed manner. I was in a convenience store amid another "Invasion." This particular store seemed to be in a New York style area or maybe even the actual Big Apple. The people populating it were well aware that conflict was going on but were doggedly determined to continue on with business as usual. Explosions are rattling the walls and immigrants are haggling prices of candybars. America in a nutshell. Well played, brain. At some point marauders/looters had infiltrated the store and seized the owner effectively taking control of the storefront. They forced him to remain at the counter and then attempted to rob and/or maim whichever brave unwitting customer dare approach. I was one such customer, but when I bent down to grab an impulse item, unaware of the situation at hand, they foolishly fired above where I had previously been standing. I dropped to the ground and stealthily made my way around to the swinging door leading behind the cashier. I went unnoticed as they moved onto their next victim. The leader was crouched knees to chest behind the store-owner and too pre-occupied to notice me sidle up mere inches away from him. When I whispered "hey" he jumped and ran in a knee-jerk reaction that forfeited the bluff and minor weapon I had planned on injuring him with.
The lesson here being fighting fire with fire. Scaring the scary. Sneaking up on the sneaky. He was so thoroughly shocked that dream-physics (or my perception of them rather) may or may not have broke down for a moment as he appeared to literally jump out of his skin akin to old Tom and Jerry cartoons. He was so frightened! I derived so much sinister pleasure for being responsible! Like the others, everything seems to blur and fade from here.
I was motivated to capture as much of the experience in text as I could this morning thanks to the conversation held last night.
Vish Fantasy League just cut a toxic player from the team and re-signed a former star.
I can't seem to get the idea out of my head that this is what finally made me better and helped me overcome this illness I'd been battling for an uncharacteristically long amount of time.
I was afforded the wonderful opportunity to reunite with a lost friend. One from an era and group of friends that I'd sadly resigned myself to not ever see again. A while back he'd randomly blocked me on facebook and in response I blocked him in real life. About a week or so ago, he apologized for his actions and contacted me to get together. Not just to explain, but simply to catch up. And catch up we did! Not to put his business out there, because he was very adamant that I not spread his personal life about, but to loosely recount the night we talked on many subjects that I myself am very familiar with but that most Body-Builder/Personal Trainers only have a cursory knowledge of. Fitness talk was expected and unabashed. HOWEVER, spiritual talk and matters of meditation were a very pleasant and welcome surprise! Two, three in addition to fitness, areas of my expertise! I won't include much more detail than that as I've agreed to respect his privacy. Hence not naming/identifying this mystery friend of mine. And endeavoring to speak so generally that even if an enterprising individual were to deduce his idenity that no subject discussed would reveal anything preferred to be kept private.
Something I will describe in paradoxically vague detail is the juxtaposition of our living spaces and how they represent the subsequent juxtaposition of our actual lives. He'd apparently moved near me recently and as such, we're technically neighbors, something which is mildly painful to know I was unaware of during the interim in which he and I didn't speak. "You were this close the whole time?!" Big and empty. He clearly makes and has made more money than me in the past, but the sparse (read: non-existent) decoration in the house communicated an austere asceticism I thought un-befitting of a person mired in proving one's appearance to the outside world. I am neither condescending nor condemning. Indeed, I rather like it. And, praised it and him as such. It just seemed oddly oxymoronic. Like going over Snoop Dogg's house and seeing nary a pot-leaf or cannabis related item anywhere. His family, while not boastful in the least, good honest hard-working blue-collars poised to become and slowly transitioning into respectable white-collars even spread its influence into me as my family is very very very similar. So coming from the same "family" I expected his trappings to be more lavish. That is not to imply, however, that I was somehow disappointed by what I saw. Quite the opposite as I've already stated above.
In our Family, appearance is claimed to not be important but plays a vital unspoken role in establishing oneself as a sovereign member of the group. While gold, cars, and expensive electronics are desired, bought, and enjoyed, they come at the unspoken price of being categorized as luxuries and therefore ultimately unnecessary. This does not change our natural human proclivity to enjoy and praise them though. We just attempt to do so in a diminished manner separate from what really matters. On the opposite end of the spectrum are things like seasonal decorations or other such comfortable amenities. Knick-knacks and brick-a-brack not owned for status but merely for comfort. The disparity between the two often results in a bizarrely triangulated keeping-up-with-the-joneses not merely content to remain unspoken but violently guarded from being directly acknowledged.
Family member "A": "Hey, I just got an expensive new [x!] Come check it out!"
Family member "B": "I think there are better things you could be spending your money on... Or better yet, better to just save your money instead of frivolously spending it at all."
A: "..."
B: U_U
A: "Look at these sentimental value mementos I saved from [Elder Family Member X!]"
B: "Oh wow! Those are so cool! I'm so jealous!"
A: ^_______^
B: ^_______^
A: "I just bought this new [x] so that I can make and store more food for the rest of the family!"
B: "Oh yeah? That's nothin'. I just bought [y] so that I can build and repair more things for the rest of the family."
A: "Pfft. Whatevs. I also got [z] to...."
B: "Well I got [q]"
So on and so forth for an uncalled for amount of time.
So that being said and represented, I mean to simply say I expected him to have more and was pleasantly surprised and proud that he did not.
My apartment with Abbey stands on the far other end of the extreme in that the actual place itself is somewhat in a state of disrepair but is bursting at the seems with free/found furniture and prized possessions accumulated over the course of decades and separate individuals. A wonderfully visual juxtaposition.
Big Nice, Mostly Empty Place vs. Medium Acceptable, Crammed Place
It even seems to me personally to represent both our bodies and our minds compared and contrasted to one another.
Not completely, obviously as there is far more "inside him" than his place lets on and there is urgent potential to graduate to a larger place for myself. - I suppose and surmise, like all things in reality, a balance between the two will naturally equalize. For both parties. Diffusion is after all the only absolute truth. *Tangent* Diffusion is the founding principle of Reality. Everything you perceive (and even what you don't) is diffusion in process somehow. It's the closest thing there is to an absolute universal truth. It's the closest I personally have gotten to a TOE (Theory Of Everything.)
-Just- experienced a synchronicity with the drink he made me after we'd been sippin' maker's mark for a few hours, the Moscow Mule - VODKA, GINGER BEER, LIME. Never heard of it prior to drinking it and then saw it atop a friend's page on facebook today from being posted at roughly the same time we were drinking ours.
[Un-named Collaboration X] I was going to include my business proposal to/with this individual but the toxic individual that I've removed from life is prone to reading this very blog and pilfering its ideas to claim as his own. So unfortunately I must remain hushed until developed enough to debut. Suffice it to say, I think that the two of us working together would be extremely mutually beneficial.
男の人は食べています。
I can breathe again.
SomeThing Happening Last Night.
SomeThing Changed Last Night.
A Return To Me.
Healed. Recovered.
I've been sick for about a week now. Real nasty cough compounded with really congested sinus. I'm no slouch. Rest. Fluids. Spicy Food. It's been slow goin', which is not something I'm used to. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Usually my inhuman immune system renders any sickness void in fewer than 72 hours. Not this time around. Perhaps it was to reacquaint me with my humanity or perhaps there was a reason for it well beyond that.
I had some pretty dense dreams last night, and unlike usually where I can recall every minute detail with perfect clarity, last night's subconscious shenanigans were quite blurry. I can only recall bits and pieces. Again, I can really only refer to this feeling as "human." This is what it's like for the rest of you guys, huh? My goodness I can see how frustrating that would be. I often take my gifts for granted, this being one of them. Being a serial (and often unwanted) lucid dreamer the grass of non-lucid dreams seems greener. It's just different grass is all. You guys are jealous of my ability to control and remember my dreams. I was jealous of you lot for having dreams independent of conscious control that fade upon waking. Indeed it was and is a major reason I supplement with cannabis. It dampens the intensity and amount of dreams I dream during the night and pushes them from my mind faster when I awake.
You desire the ability to control and recall, I desire the ability to participate and forget.
Well, this is one instance where I'm missing my natural set of attributes and feeling stymied by my seeming inability to consciously reactivate them.
One day perhaps, once and for all, I will do myself and the world a favor and empirically determine which grass is actually greener. Until then, I'm content to discuss shades and hues and appreciate the differences therein.
The portions of last night's mental magic that I've got a hold on are fragmented, illusory and too vague to be immediately interpreted. Granted that does not dictate that some parts are quite easy to break down amid easily replaying them.
In no particular order, I remember 3 "main" "parts."
There was a monstrously high and tall corporate building that two men worked in or maybe were just meeting in. I say "there was" because I had no direct connection to either of them, nor did I experience any of this "part" from either of their first person perspectives. I was more just a roving observer taking it in. Lacking my usual lush and descriptive language I am going to have to do my best to paint a picture in your mind missing the colors and brushes used to paint them in the first place. There was some sort of a tension to their meeting and it seemed to be a high-stakes one. The one guy I can clearly remember and describe as basically muscular Greg from Dharma and Greg, wearing black slacks and shoes and a light blue button-down rebelliously rolled at the sleeves and worn with no tie or jacket. In the dream this carried the nuance of only him being permitted to dress in this manner in a hypocritical, unspoken, and tenuous way.
There was another man, looking very similar, but tanner, shorter and far more ripped. In the face I seem to recall him looking a lot like the other guy, but the details are, reluctantly, admittedly, hazy. So in the sake of brevity a fitting description might be slightly-latino Greg from Dharma and Greg, haha.
They were discussing things in a very heated yet relaxed manner, as most high-level board-room conversations between two high-powered executives are conducted in real life. A dueling banjoes dynamic began to develop as each tried to one-up the others' proposal or idea, and the longer this continued the more sexual tension began to build. Eventually, as somewhat anticipated at this point the conversation devolved into direct comparisons of appearance. They fiercely named the muscles and movements responsible for their development in an attempt to impress and overwhelm the other to no avail. They punctuated such observations with others about clothing and its source and cost.
The "climax" of this "dream-scene" was represented in a urgent embrace from Greg to Latino-Greg to which Latino-Greg promptly, gently yet firmly cautioned "You're being bossy." In retrospect, that moment changes the rest of the way I remember Greg's initial character. Indeed retroactively his whole personality seems tainted by this exchange. Prior to this point the powerplay dynamics asserting themselves seemed openly tipped in Greg's favor, at this point however it was clear that Latino-Greg had been "in charge" the whole time.
After a rapidfire exchange of boasting one's own qualities while attempting to point out the other's in a way that highlighted one's own, they moved closer and began more intensely examining one another's sartorial choices in the same fierce way they'd been highlighting one another's flesh-suits.
The "true climax" of this moment came when after a compliment on his pectorals from L-G, G un-buttoned his shirt as if to say "Yes. Revel in them and be overtaken by them!" L-G didn't bat an eye as he deftly flicked the button necessary to reveal his own rippling chest, to which G was very much unable to hide the fact that he was genuinely impressed. That prompted the situation to come to a head and Greg tenderly embraced Latino-Greg's neck and upper shoulders in a searching manner preceding a kiss. Latino-Greg neither moved no reciprocated, rather he issued the stern "You're being bossy." Which caused a stern Greg to immediately recoil and recoup. Unable to decide whether he was dejected or intrigued, the character's pacing back and forth in distance from the other's represents the subtle waves washing ashore and flowing back out to sea way in which the memory breaks down and fades away for me.
The symbolism in this one is the most easily read for me. Recently I excised one toxic relationship from my life whilst reuniting with a beneficial one unfortunately moved away from some time ago. In short, I traded one player for another.
Clearly this scene was merely an on-the-nose metaphor for the power play dynamics between myself and these two other men. Less clear however is who was represented by whom, and for what amount of time. Like I advise most of you coming to me for dream interpretation, I must simply not think on it directly and allow myself to subconsciously search through it as I go about my day. A lot easier said than done! I'll keep that in mind next time I'm downplaying its difficulty!
The other 2 main acts are far more disjointed and ambiguous still. As such, my descriptions of them will be fittingly brief and woefully underdeveloped.
At one point I was on a different version of earth or perhaps a rare corner of the actual globe covered in resort and obstacle-course style trappings. Honestly, a pretty typical dream setting for me that I've come to anticipate and have grown quite familiar and comfortable with. Another familiar theme is that it began being invaded by "others." Unlike normally where I could plainly describe them, a blurry sorta-aliens-or-sorta-insects-or-sorta-monsters-or-something-but-definitely-not-humans is really the best I can do! They swarmed upon the resort and most fled or were shot down. A HUD appeared and whether it was self-generated and percieved or a feature from the resort remains to be seen or known, a beeping and red highlight along with awareness of peripheal vision warned me of an "Invader" coming in hot on my 3 o'clock, and unlike normally where I manifest some sort of strength, weapon, or magic, I winced and covered up and crouched in fear. This is not in and of itself unique or ground-breaking as many of my nightmares are categorized not by gore, pain, or dying but by rather not knowing how or refusing to fight back. THAT for me is the true nightmare. This was no different. However in this "nightmare moment" I did something I'm not sure I've done since I was a kid. I "paused" the dream. I spontaneously became lucid and froze the rest of the action into a 3D diorama I was free to navigate at my whim. Hence why I can recall this part with so much clarity. I "woke up." Not enough to open my physical eyes in reality but just enough to bring me back to center on my character overlapping reality and non-reality. I do not cower. I do not fear. I am Josh Vish. I do not back down. I fight back. Consciously holding all that in mind, I unpaused and promptly decked the offending Invader out of the air and several hundred feet away. From that point on the action/visuals fade into a standard battle being won by one side possessing a mighty warrior doing most of the work.
The symbolism best ascertained from this is "believe in yourself and you will be capable of great things." If you cower in fear, then you will be cowardly and afraid. If you stand and fight, then even if you fall, you will be brave and strong.
As almost a subset of the above, the other snippet was illustrating a similar theme in a re-mixed manner. I was in a convenience store amid another "Invasion." This particular store seemed to be in a New York style area or maybe even the actual Big Apple. The people populating it were well aware that conflict was going on but were doggedly determined to continue on with business as usual. Explosions are rattling the walls and immigrants are haggling prices of candybars. America in a nutshell. Well played, brain. At some point marauders/looters had infiltrated the store and seized the owner effectively taking control of the storefront. They forced him to remain at the counter and then attempted to rob and/or maim whichever brave unwitting customer dare approach. I was one such customer, but when I bent down to grab an impulse item, unaware of the situation at hand, they foolishly fired above where I had previously been standing. I dropped to the ground and stealthily made my way around to the swinging door leading behind the cashier. I went unnoticed as they moved onto their next victim. The leader was crouched knees to chest behind the store-owner and too pre-occupied to notice me sidle up mere inches away from him. When I whispered "hey" he jumped and ran in a knee-jerk reaction that forfeited the bluff and minor weapon I had planned on injuring him with.
The lesson here being fighting fire with fire. Scaring the scary. Sneaking up on the sneaky. He was so thoroughly shocked that dream-physics (or my perception of them rather) may or may not have broke down for a moment as he appeared to literally jump out of his skin akin to old Tom and Jerry cartoons. He was so frightened! I derived so much sinister pleasure for being responsible! Like the others, everything seems to blur and fade from here.
I was motivated to capture as much of the experience in text as I could this morning thanks to the conversation held last night.
Vish Fantasy League just cut a toxic player from the team and re-signed a former star.
I can't seem to get the idea out of my head that this is what finally made me better and helped me overcome this illness I'd been battling for an uncharacteristically long amount of time.
I was afforded the wonderful opportunity to reunite with a lost friend. One from an era and group of friends that I'd sadly resigned myself to not ever see again. A while back he'd randomly blocked me on facebook and in response I blocked him in real life. About a week or so ago, he apologized for his actions and contacted me to get together. Not just to explain, but simply to catch up. And catch up we did! Not to put his business out there, because he was very adamant that I not spread his personal life about, but to loosely recount the night we talked on many subjects that I myself am very familiar with but that most Body-Builder/Personal Trainers only have a cursory knowledge of. Fitness talk was expected and unabashed. HOWEVER, spiritual talk and matters of meditation were a very pleasant and welcome surprise! Two, three in addition to fitness, areas of my expertise! I won't include much more detail than that as I've agreed to respect his privacy. Hence not naming/identifying this mystery friend of mine. And endeavoring to speak so generally that even if an enterprising individual were to deduce his idenity that no subject discussed would reveal anything preferred to be kept private.
Something I will describe in paradoxically vague detail is the juxtaposition of our living spaces and how they represent the subsequent juxtaposition of our actual lives. He'd apparently moved near me recently and as such, we're technically neighbors, something which is mildly painful to know I was unaware of during the interim in which he and I didn't speak. "You were this close the whole time?!" Big and empty. He clearly makes and has made more money than me in the past, but the sparse (read: non-existent) decoration in the house communicated an austere asceticism I thought un-befitting of a person mired in proving one's appearance to the outside world. I am neither condescending nor condemning. Indeed, I rather like it. And, praised it and him as such. It just seemed oddly oxymoronic. Like going over Snoop Dogg's house and seeing nary a pot-leaf or cannabis related item anywhere. His family, while not boastful in the least, good honest hard-working blue-collars poised to become and slowly transitioning into respectable white-collars even spread its influence into me as my family is very very very similar. So coming from the same "family" I expected his trappings to be more lavish. That is not to imply, however, that I was somehow disappointed by what I saw. Quite the opposite as I've already stated above.
In our Family, appearance is claimed to not be important but plays a vital unspoken role in establishing oneself as a sovereign member of the group. While gold, cars, and expensive electronics are desired, bought, and enjoyed, they come at the unspoken price of being categorized as luxuries and therefore ultimately unnecessary. This does not change our natural human proclivity to enjoy and praise them though. We just attempt to do so in a diminished manner separate from what really matters. On the opposite end of the spectrum are things like seasonal decorations or other such comfortable amenities. Knick-knacks and brick-a-brack not owned for status but merely for comfort. The disparity between the two often results in a bizarrely triangulated keeping-up-with-the-joneses not merely content to remain unspoken but violently guarded from being directly acknowledged.
Family member "A": "Hey, I just got an expensive new [x!] Come check it out!"
Family member "B": "I think there are better things you could be spending your money on... Or better yet, better to just save your money instead of frivolously spending it at all."
A: "..."
B: U_U
A: "Look at these sentimental value mementos I saved from [Elder Family Member X!]"
B: "Oh wow! Those are so cool! I'm so jealous!"
A: ^_______^
B: ^_______^
A: "I just bought this new [x] so that I can make and store more food for the rest of the family!"
B: "Oh yeah? That's nothin'. I just bought [y] so that I can build and repair more things for the rest of the family."
A: "Pfft. Whatevs. I also got [z] to...."
B: "Well I got [q]"
So on and so forth for an uncalled for amount of time.
So that being said and represented, I mean to simply say I expected him to have more and was pleasantly surprised and proud that he did not.
My apartment with Abbey stands on the far other end of the extreme in that the actual place itself is somewhat in a state of disrepair but is bursting at the seems with free/found furniture and prized possessions accumulated over the course of decades and separate individuals. A wonderfully visual juxtaposition.
Big Nice, Mostly Empty Place vs. Medium Acceptable, Crammed Place
It even seems to me personally to represent both our bodies and our minds compared and contrasted to one another.
Not completely, obviously as there is far more "inside him" than his place lets on and there is urgent potential to graduate to a larger place for myself. - I suppose and surmise, like all things in reality, a balance between the two will naturally equalize. For both parties. Diffusion is after all the only absolute truth. *Tangent* Diffusion is the founding principle of Reality. Everything you perceive (and even what you don't) is diffusion in process somehow. It's the closest thing there is to an absolute universal truth. It's the closest I personally have gotten to a TOE (Theory Of Everything.)
-Just- experienced a synchronicity with the drink he made me after we'd been sippin' maker's mark for a few hours, the Moscow Mule - VODKA, GINGER BEER, LIME. Never heard of it prior to drinking it and then saw it atop a friend's page on facebook today from being posted at roughly the same time we were drinking ours.
[Un-named Collaboration X] I was going to include my business proposal to/with this individual but the toxic individual that I've removed from life is prone to reading this very blog and pilfering its ideas to claim as his own. So unfortunately I must remain hushed until developed enough to debut. Suffice it to say, I think that the two of us working together would be extremely mutually beneficial.
男の人は食べています。
Friday, February 13, 2015
『信じる 頑張れる 頑張れ。 頑張れる。 頑張れ。 -- 信じる。 頑張れる。 頑張れ。 -- 信じる 頑。』
信じる 頑張れる 頑張れ。 頑張れる。 頑張れ。 --
信じる。 頑張れる。 頑張れ。 --
信じる 頑。
信じる 頑。
信じる。 頑張れる。 頑張れ。 --
信じる 頑。
信じる 頑。
Sunday, February 8, 2015
Time Travel To Date Past-Abbey
What was the last song you listened to?:
Overand By Autechre
Have you ever been stereotyped?
All the daggum time.
Is there a magazine you get monthly?
Wow. No, actually. Not since EGM went to shit back whenever. It used to be EGM though.
What type of cell phone do you have?
the nonexistent pretend kind that crazy people and kids have *holds 'gnarly sign' up to ear* Yello?
Do you have your driver's license yet?
And how! Just got it renewed! Full glory of beard now officially ID'd twice. First, being passport.
What school do you currently attend?
the school of hard knocks, bruh -- but seriously. the school of life. earth. the cosmos. reality. everything is school, as long as you're paying attention and learning and endeavoring to improve
Who was the last person to piss you off?
Myself.
Do you prefer writing in pencil or pen?
Writing? Pen. Drawing? Pencil.
Did you ever feel that there was no one you could connect with?
I have felt like that but I do not currently.
Have you ever tried playing Call of Duty?
*yawn* FPSs are beyond boring. Esp. COD.
Are you currently pleased or annoyed with your hair?
Very pleased.
Are you at all good at drawing?
In fact, the best.
Are you good at baking things?
Myself? I am good at getting baked if that's what you mean.. ;) -- Pretty good with hash brownies n such, too. I'm more of a chef than a baker. Baking's a Science, Cooking is an Art. -- I'm too spontaneous in the kitchen, I wanna add a dash of cayenne here and a pinch of nutmeg there, which you can totally get away with in cooking. With baking, the wrong move might ruin your whole dish. I just don't have the patience.
When you were young, did you get in trouble a lot?
That's a biased question. It assumes that I no longer am young and/or no longer get in trouble. ;)
What color is your hairbrush?
Me favorite is brown.
Last beverage consumed?
Coffee.
Is there a name that you absolutely love?
No, actually. I guess mine?
If you were to move out right now, do you think you would be successful?
Of course, I'm succesful in whatever I endeavor to do. -- It would be hectic and stressful, but sure as shit it would be succesful.
Have you seen the movie Dear John?
Naw.
Does a person's religion matter at all to you?
Not unless they try to push it on me.
Do you think you were a cute baby?
10/10 would pinch cheeks
Is Mathematics something you succeed at?
Most definitely. Math is the Language of God. The Language of The Cosmos.
How about English?
I have had my diction complimented by the actual English. *gently drops mic like a gentleman*
Are you a fan of Lady GaGa?
Absolutely not. In fact I hate everything about her except her gorgeous buttcheeks. She is the exact epitome of what's wrong with pop music/culture today. Madonna did it first and did it better.
Do you ever read your horoscopes?
On and off. I go through periods of checking them routinely and then others of ignoring them for months on end. When I was younger I thought they were complete and utter bullshit, as I've matured I've come to know their uncanny accuracy. Even if I can't yet explain with Science how it was/is achieved.
Do you prefer to pay in cash or credit cards?
Pay? What's that? (Card.)
Does the idea of flying scare you?
In a plane? Yes. In my own body, still yes, but far less than in a plane.
Do you have any phobias?
I have a pervasive fear that all of reality is a ruse centered in on me. Truman Show style. Candid Camera style. -- I loathe the moment of the "reveal" and fight to deliver "I knew all along!" with unwavering certainty.
Do you own any photo albums?:
Yalp.
Are you currently listening to music?
Nope.
Is there someone in the room with you?
Abbey Rose. My Other Half.
Horror movies: do they scare you at all?
Actual horror movies? Like violent, gory and/or supernatural ones? Not at all. Cerebral dramas that could feasibly happen in real life more frighten me than buckets of blood and sharp teeth. Come at me, bro.
Are you a fan of 3Oh!3?
Gibberish? Am I a fan of gibberish? Absolutely. I am the King Of Gibberish. The Ging Of Kibberish.
Would you consider yourself to be a Grammar Nazi?
I would not, but others would. I consider myself well-spoken and well-versed in language.
Your opinion on people who live every day like it's their last?
Wouldn't matter to them, now would it? ;)
Would you rather drive or take the subway/bus/public transit?
Walk, bike, drive. I miss the public transit in LA, here in PA, NO SPANK YOU.
Is watching TV a big thing for you?
Hasn't been for over a decade. Pre-2003 however, I watched more TV than entire families combined. Nonstop for 72 hours in a row or more. Hence, not missing it too much these days.
Are you a fan of beer?
Oh god yes. I want a Sapporo so bad right now. Tecate is what got me into beer in the first place and Miller High Life sealed the deal. I love microbrews and fancy shits as much as the next beer snob but I specialize in cheap yet drinkable beverage. Shout out to King Cobra 40s! Only thing worth mention in Ohio!
Has a friend ever gotten completely wasted in your presence?
All the goddamned time. I've been babysitter/surrogate father for close to 2 decades now. Still just as nonfun as it was the very first time I experienced it.
How long have you been with your significant other?
Approximately 2 and a half years.
Do you enjoy the smell of candles?
I do enjoy the smelling part. I love to smell things!
Where do you download your music from?
Downloading is so last century. I use Spotify.
Do you ever use the aid of Google Translate?
はい！ Siempre.
Was there a point in your life where you were practically nocturnal?
Was?
What's your idea of perfect weather?
4 seasons.
Are you addicted to coffee?
Nope.
Are you currently in love?
AND HOW! So glad to have finally found the love of my life and my other half!
Do you believe living carefree and in the moment is the way to go?
"sometimes. But you have to have some precautions if you want to continue that way." what she said.
Name your favorite band?
Too hard to pick just one. Coldplay. Dimmu Borgir. Gogol Bordello. System Of A Down. NIN. Moby. Daft Punk. Incubus. N.E.R.D. Denison Witmer. Jack Johnson. Modest Mouse. Alice In Chains. Eminem. Miles Davis. Queen. Beatles. Bright Eyes. I have to stop now or I never will.
What's that one song they constantly play on the radio that you hate?
Wrecking Ball.
Do skinny jeans work for you?
"Work for me? Skinny jeans do NOT make one look skinny. Skinny jeans are for people who ARE skinny. Usually they're too tight for my big ass, calves, and thighs. I have curves, which apparently is not in fashion." Same.
Do you know guys that wear their pants with half their underwear showing?
Know them? No. Seen them? Unfortunately. -- I love informing people of where/why sagging originated...
Is there a tattoo you'd really like to get?
"Memento Mori" on the inside of my left forearm. "Row row row your boat..." Snaking around my right arm. Kanji for demon on my neck or back. Ghost In The Shell abstract back design on my back. "The Brand" Scarification/Tattoo Seal. The Nintendo Logo. Shenlong from DBZ around a leg. -- I dunno, I toy around with wanting tattoos all the time and yet I don't have a single one. We'll see.
Do you know someone who is creepily possessive?
Did. Thankfully, no longer.
Do you think you'll eventually find that special someone?
Think? Know. I've found her. :)
Have you ever felt like giving up, but stuck with it anyway?
はい！頑張る！ -- This is pretty much how I feel every single second of every single day. Some moments it's worse than others and others I occasionally just blissfully float along for a while before crashing back down to reality.
Do you chew gum often?
Nope.
Who's the fifth contact in your phone?:
No clue. Not worth digging out of storage to look at. Probably the 5th "A" person I knew/know.
Where is your phone right now?:
In a desk drawer on top of a TI-83. Which is on top of a scale.
Do you have any plans for the weekend?
Hanging out with Matt Park, and laundry.
How are you feeling?
cold. kinda shitty. hungry.
Do you have a stalker?
Oh my yes, quite a few. A couple are even famous.
You're trapped in a room with your ex for 3 days, what do you do?
Play Smash Bros. while apologizing for how mean I was to her during our relationship and demanding an apology for the way she treated me as well.
Who is the last guy you talked at?
Some kid online.
Do you enjoy tattoos & Piercings?
"sure. if it has meaning or isn't in a retarded place." Same. -- I have a rule for tattoos, "recognizable at a distance." The majority of sleeves just look like purple grey messes until you get up close, I can't stand that.
Shower at night or in the morning?
Both, and once after the gym as well. I LOVE showering.
Do you apologize first?
"depends on the person." also, depends on the situation.
Has someone made a promise to you and broke it?
"haha. is that a legit question? if anyone can answer no then they need a wake up call." what she said
Do you like your name?
I do enjoy it, yes.
What do you think the person you like is doing now?
Think? I can see her. She's watching me type this.......
Do you hate the last guy/girl you had a thing with?
I did for a time, I grew past that after finding Abbey.
Do you have a curfew?
"only if I set it for myself." -- Try to sleep at least 8 hours this week.
Did the one person who hurt you the most in your life apologize?
NO. BUT THEY FUCKING WILL. THEY FUCKING WILL. And it WILL be recorded and broadcast for all to see.
Have you ever thought about getting your lip pierced?
All the damn time. Thinking about it again upon reading this.
Have a best friend?
"friends? what are those??" - Haha, same. Other than Abbey, no. - I have a lot of aquaintances and hangers-on, but everyone seems too scared or too intimidated to make the effort to actually get to know me.
Are you in a good mood right now?
"eh. I guess you could say I am." this
Have you ever liked someone older than you?
Pre-18, all the damn time, post-18 not so much. I lust after and feel sexual attraction for older women, but I've found my one and only and she's 7 years younger and not going anywhere any time soon. So it's mostly just fantasy stuff at this point. Nothing I would ever actually act on.
Has anyone ever told you they want to spend the rest of their life with you?
Thankfully, quite a few times. None have lasted, however. Abbey's current top score is 2 & 1/2 years. I believe her, though. Which is saying quite a lot.
Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months?
TWO AND A HALF YEARS. CAN'T YOU FUCKING READ?!
Have you ever kissed the last person you texted?
I have no clue who the last person I texted was. But yeah, I probably kissed em. *smooch* xxx
Are you missing someone?
Nope.
Who were you last in a car with?
Abbles.
Are you currently looking forward to anything?
AMIIBOS. Wave 3. Sheik. Sonic. King Dedede. Mega-Man.
Do you like to be called babe or baby more?
Tough call. I don't really focus on the pet names I recieve I more focus on giving them. Pressed, I'd say "babe."
Do you hate the last boy you had a conversation with?
Nope! Lookin' forward to talking with him tomorrow! Well today, technically, but it's not the next day until you wake up. Everyone knows that.
Is there a specific moment you can replay in your mind perfectly?
"A?" A moment? As in a single moment? Try all the moments. I am a computer. -- I often find myself wishing I could shut this off.
Do you miss the way things used to be between you and someone else?
"yes of course." sure
Do you like to cuddle?
I LUB IT. Cuddleslut fo sho.
Are you stubborn?
"I'm italian. doesn't that mean stubborn?" This, and probably the most stubborn person you'll ever meet. I don't even listen to myself.
Is there a friend, boyfriend/ girlfriend, or ex that you will never forget?
"of course." unfortunately quite a few. That whole "computer memory" thing rearing its ugly head again....
Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?
OH YES.
Is your hair naturally straight?
For the most part, yeah, but apparently once it's longer than about a foot it starts to lightly wave and then past a foot and a half it starts to get rul curly like.
You're rude, aren't you?
I'd rather be an asshole than a coward. -- I am not, by definition rude, in fact far from it, but I have absolutely no problem being rude when the situation calls for it.
Did you dream of anything last night?
Oh geez. Where to start.... Rescuing babies, cute little blonde girls with curls in floral print dresses running from their parents, dream foods that required many steps to prepare, dream foods that could feasibly be rendered into reality ie. cookie dough outline and center brownies, chocolate mac n' cheese, and quite literally the biggest of all, I perceived the edge of reality and the cosmos as a beach/shore.
What was the first thing you did when you woke up today?
Started talking to Abbey.
What do you think of people who have sex before marriage?
Depends on the people. For some, I say, screw those archaic boundaries, for others I feel that they'd benefit from a little conservatism. Not for others, but for themselves. While I don't regret the majority of my partners, I do regret a few and can objectively see how I would not feel as much guilt, and would have smoother sex as a result, if I'd waited for the perfect one.
What are your plans for next Saturday night?
VALENTINE'S DAY. Sex & Chocolate. ChocolateSex. SexChocolate. LOVE.
How many people did you hug today?
One.
Have you ever went a day without talking to the person you like?
Hell no.
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