I am, the Consciousness of All That Is.

I would like to explain to you how you are God.

You like to think you are not God, but you are. I promise you.

You want God to be bigger than you, to be "more in control" well worry not, God is. You are. There are 2 perceived forms of yourself. You as you've existed since time immemorial, before birth and after death and the you that's reading this right now at this exact moment.

How did you get here? Why? Why are you reading this? YOU WANT TO.
What are the odds that you'd see this? What are the odds that someone else outside of you would type these things up and then post them for you to see? YOU ARE HERE BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO BE.

This is another form of God, of you, of yourself. I am you and I'm choosing to hold the mirror up for you to See Yourself.

Don't worry. You got this. All of it. It's just a game. One we play when we're tired of being the atoms in a shrew's paw in Nepal in 300 B.C.

Consciousness and human form are a window. Not an absolute value. They're how we observe ourself.

Everything that has happened or ever will happen, has and is here. Now.

You. Your consciousness. Your brain. Your flesh, shuts you away from all that. Focuses you on your "life". Which is not a bad thing. All according to plan. Yours. Mine. Ours. Gods.

Time does not exist, it is a relativistic system for determining position in the macro physical world we live in. Before your birth and after your death you are everywhere and nowhere. Everywhen and nowhen. All at once. Taking human form cancels the majority of that out.

Yes that's right, you read it here. Your existence is a vacation from being Infinity.

Some of us do get homesick though, that's why love (and yes even sex) are so special. And psychedelic drugs. And fame. All ways of reconnecting with Ourself.

You've forgotten it, and you may not want to admit it, even after reading this, but you are God. We all are. That's okay, though. Your ignorance is all a part of the game.

When everyone gets to my level, we have to start over anyway. So plunge forward. Ignorance truly is bliss. But if you're not ignorant, if you've started down the road of questioning, then let me save you the trip. It ends with you realizing that you are EVERYTHING. LITERALLY EVERYTHING. Your life as you lead it now, from behind the eyeballs reading this and the brain processing it, is a calculated move by your Godself to have some fun. Rejoice!

I can't be God, you'll say. You're crazy, you say.

Oh yeah?

Why are you here? No, not on Earth, I mean HERE, reading this. NOW. Just a coincidence? We're friends online and blah blah blah. No. You are here because the me that is you but not actually you was compelled to write this so that actual you can read it. Both parties acted out by God.

If you fear that you're not good enough, or smart enough, or strong enough, find solace in this: You chose to be here.

If there was a pill, or a surgery, or a chant, or a plant, or WHATEVER that could increase your intelligence and strength and such, what would happen if you kept doing it? What if you were granted the unending ability to increase your ability?

Well, eventually you'd become God. And as God, in your new omnipotent omnipresent form you'd deem it necessary that you be banished to a physical body and told nothing of it. Nothing that is, until you read this.

THIS IS YOUR WAKE UP CALL.

If you're still with me at this point, but not agreeing with it,

Think of it like this,

You know those "other" "people" that populate your dreams?

Who are they? They're just in my head, you'll say.

What makes you different than them? Than a squirrel or a bottle of lotion or a discarded corndog stick. One thing. One thing only.

The two most powerful words in existence.

I AM.

The moment you started saying those words, you stepped out of the murk and into the realm of God.

How can you, the you that can't even remember a spouse's birthday or what you had for breakfast last week possibly balance creating whole fully realized individuals inside your brain?

The only difference between "you" and "them" is your ability to say those two all powerful words: I AM.

God is merely the force that asks what asking is.

That neverending thirst for knowledge. That constant need to "get to the bottom of things".

Still don't believe me? Well then think of that one person you've met that seemed super simple at first, even borderline dumb. And then one day you found out they had an ability/interest that borders on idiot savant. This person you initially looked down your nose at now possessing the power to awe you. That's God. That's God nature.

None of us are better than any of us, cuz we're all the same. The only differences here, on this plane, are levels of awareness.

And at the Josh Vish level of awareness, I (we, you) want us to quit killing each other, to stop worrying so much and to simply have fun.

You created yourself/are creating yourself.

WE ARE GOD.

Self-Portraits

Personally, this is one of the most beautiful and sublime images I have ever seen.

Stray Cat Strut

A few nights ago, I couldn't sleep because of some nearby beeping. When I finally got sick enough of it, I went outside. Attached to the building adjacent to mine was a balcony porch populated by some people smoking cigarettes. I asked them if they knew what it was, they did not.

I tracked the beeping to a house and knocked on the door. A man inebriated on some substance told me he couldn't hear it and largely seemed indifferent. When he closed the door, I scaled his house, got onto his porch and unplugged the offending party. What looked like a DVD player (no TV in sight) was the source of the loathsome tone. I climbed back down and went to bed.

A couple of days later, after I got off work, I saw a girl smoking a cigarette on the aforementioned porch. I told her how and why the beeping stopped and then invited myself up. We introduced ourselves, me being Joshua and her being Kelly. We chatted for a bit and after a few subtle clues, I asked her if she smoked weed, she agreed and I trotted back down to my place, packed up a bowl for us to blaze, and walked back up the stairs. We smoked and talked, and kept talking long after the bowl had been cashed. We talked for a few hours and it felt like we already knew each other. Turns out she'd just been fired from where I currently work. Small world.

A night or two after that I was restless and eager to be anywhere but here and when I went outside there were two on the porch again. I ascended the stairs and effectively broke into all of these people's lives. They had just packed a bowl and were all too willing to let me in on it. We puffed and passed and the rest of the crew came out to join. The pipe kicked, I wandered into their apartment, so similar to my own, and they all pretty much immediately accepted me. Only one was reluctant. Only one was aware. The girl in the Steelers jersey. Kelly's little sister, "Fudge". She was the only one to acknowledge how weird it is to just accept a completely random stranger into your life and home. She eventually warmed up to me and dubbed me "BeardJosh" as one of the tenants was already named Josh.

I took these videos. 

I regaled them with thrilling tales of Vish adventure and they hungrily inquired for more. They volunteered their own hopes and dreams, fears and misgivings. I showed Fudge how to walk on her hands and helped her heat up a bowl of Chef Boyardee. Their apartment didn't have a microwave yet, so I ran it down to mine, nuked it and then brought it back up. Fudge insisted on sharing. Afterward, I invited them all down to my place to share a nice big fat bowl. Kelly and Josh declined to attend. I showed them my place, we talked, we smoked. The night sorta dissolved after that, but the memory and feelings remain strong.

I finally got my wish of seeing just what everyone else is "up to" in their own homes. Any time I go for a walk, especially if it's at night, I find myself inordinately concerned with what's going on in everyone's houses. I'm a curious fellow. I want to know what's going on in there. And now I know. It's not much different than anywhere else. The feeling I got being there, sitting in the corner, recording this video, was one of the most pure I've ever experienced in my life.

A feeling of immediately belonging, and being accepted, running simultaneous (and juxtaposed) to feeling completely foreign and alien. An outside observer/an inside participant. Both at the same time.

Some people recoil when a stray comes knocking and others let it inside, pour a bowl of milk, and pet with all the fervor of a lifelong owner.

Who knows where I've been?

Thank you. Thank you Kelly, Josh, Fudge, Alex and Snack. Thanks for giving this stray a feeling of home, even if it was only for a little bit. I wish we coulda been neighbors a little longer. We were only just getting started...

100 Days In Japan (Hopefully)

A chance to go to Japan for 100 days AND GET PAID TO DO IT.
A chance to go to Japan for 100 days and BE PAID TO WRITE ABOUT IT.


This is literally like a once in a lifetime, dream-come-true sorta thing.


"On 24th December 2011, after completing its mission of travelling 100 days and reporting from all over Japan, the Travel Volunteer will transform into Santa Claus and deliver Christmas Presents to displaced children in the Tohoku region!" This is tailor-made for me. I've always wanted to be Santa Claus when I grow up. Santa Claus in Japan? That's so perfect it's scary!

Getting paid to blog... Is this real-life?

I'm filling out the application form now.

I filled out a good portion of the form, but I'm holding off on submitting it because I wanna make sure it's PERFECT. This is a completely sublime chance and I'm not about to let it slide through my fingers thanks to some poor grammar or an incomplete thought. I'm goin' at this samurai style. One slice, one kill. Everything in my entire being. Burning myself up completely and leaving no trace.

I'm going to list all of my Japan related hopes and dreams and put them into the appropriate section on the application. I hope they don't think me too greedy... ^_____^ I have a lot I want to do!

大和魂

Why I should be chosen.

I'm extremely personable. Charismatic, even. I love meeting new people and I get along with just about everyone I meet. Going to Japan has been a long-standing goal of mine and I've been completely engrossed in Japanese culture for well over a decade. I love absolutely everything about Japan. I even hope to pick up more of the language, and I anticipate I'll be able to do so relatively quickly/easily thanks to being fully immersed in Japanese-speaking society. Such a beautiful language. Both spoken and written. Name something Japanese-related, and I'll bet you that I love it. Samurai, sushi/sashimi, anime, video games, martial arts, Nintendo, Ghibli, robots, Zen, manga.

I love eating, working out, , watching movies, playing videogames, photography, writing, blogging, drawing, learning, and of course, learning about Japan!

Another trait that makes me a good candidate for selection is that I regularly maintain a blog now anyway, so it would be an extremely easy transition. I love to write! Especially on the internet! Some other pros to choosing me: I have a job that would understand. I have a safe place for my belongings during the 100 days.

I can't say it enough times and enough ways: This would literally be like a dream coming true for me.

In addition to all of that my birthday is actually on Christmas Eve and I've always wanted to be Santa Claus! I'm rather tall/large and I can grow a beard quickly, we might only need to dye it! To the kids I'll be the real thing!

What is my dream?


Like I've said, THIS literally would be my dream coming true. Getting to go to Japan for free is one thing, but for 100 days and essentially being paid to blog about it? Absolutely perfect. I've also always had what I thought was an unrealistic dream: to one day become Santa Claus. However, seeing as how as part of the package is transforming into Santa and handing out presents to the kids, this too will come true and combine with being in Japan to be simply sublime.


The only way this could fulfill even more of my dreams is if I also learned how to control my ki and fly and then went Super Saiyan! Haha! 


Here is a huge list of things that any one of would fulfill the function of my dream. I'd be happy with absolutely any single one.

- Simply going to Japan.

- Finding, acquiring and learning to wield an authentic Katana.

- Dressing in full Samurai regalia and getting pictures of it.

- Kendo

- Sumo

- Zazen

- Visit and sit in a real authentic onsen, get to wear (and maybe keep) a yukata and zori during/afterward.

- Meeting Akira Toriyama

 - Have him draw me DBZ style, get to keep it.

- Eating superfresh sushi and sashimi, and maybe learning how to slice some.

- Meeting and getting a picture with Shigeru Miyamato.

- Miyazaki Museum

  - Pictures/memorabilia

  - Meeting and getting a picture with Miyazaki.

- Visit Pokemon Center

- Pictures/video of the legendary Shibuya crossing.

 - Akihabra/Harajuku

- Osaka

- Tokyo

- Obtain authentic kimono and hakama. Tabi too.

- Picture of me with Mt. Fuji in background and a cherry blossom tree.

- Meeting and getting a picture with Kentaro Miura.

- I would like to retrace all or at least a portion of Basho's trail.

- Visit the grave sites of Akira Kurosawa and Shunryu Suzuki. (If located in Japan.)

- Meeting and getting a picture with Utada Hikaru.

- DOING THE OSAKA BANG THING!!!

- Learning how samurais and monks shaved their heads. Getting one.

- I would like to impress at least one local with pronunciation.

- Practice a character/phrase with calligraphy.

- Green tea ceremony.

- Aikido.

- A holographic Pikachu a la Hatsune Miku. (That one's for free, Miyamoto-sama. ;D)

- It would be an honor to run the Ninja Warrior course.

- I would like to be on a wacky Japanese game show.

- DRESSING UP AS SANTA CLAUS AND GIVE GIFTS TO ALL THE CHILDREN!!

- Learning to fly!

- Going Super Saiyan!

There is so much I want to do in Japan that this list could go on forever and ever. So I'll summarize again: simply being in Japan will be a dream come true. 

I thank you for taking the time to review my application and I thank you in advance if I am chosen, I promise I will do my very best at exemplifying why everyone should go to Japan. It will sincerely be my pleasure. It already is.

The Zen Of Anger

Girls vs. Boys
Crying vs. Yelling/Swearing

If I made you cry, good. You made me angry.

We abuse each other. And take more abuse than we fully consciously realize.

Random Ideas:
Girl that gets paid to have food eaten off of her. "taekwondo body pizza" (how's that for random?) has nightmares that intermingle with sexual fantasies about actually being eaten.

I will never feel guilty for being a man or expressing anger again. Not so long as it is acceptable for women to cry.

It is impossible to speak about the future. Anything we say automatically becomes the past, during the act of talking we experience the present. Thinking about the future is the only way to "talk" about it.

the value of limitation

"god mode" game, gain more and more skills until the "game" becomes boring, starts off as a puzzle, turns into an action-adventure, ends as a littlebigplanet/minecraft-esque create-your-own game, only way to "beat" the "game" is to recreate it inside itself
"infinity" the only thing there is to do when you've reached the end is: to start over. From scratch. "The Journey, not The Destination."

There is an inverse proportion between ability and motivation. The greater your ability to do something, the less your inclination to do it. We only want challenges.

The "meat" of the game is the human realm/level of awareness. Makes players forget they are even playing a game. The parts leading up to and coming after happen in a much shorter span of time. With the latter showing a propensity toward exponential increases in speed.

1 -through the dimensions
2 -single cell
3 -evolution
3a-ecosystem a
4 -consciousness
5 -humans
5a-Christ consciousness
6 -technology
7 -ecosystem b
7a-the singularity a [the direct beginning of the singularity]
8 -planets, solar systems, galaxies, cosmosystem, black holes, spiral power
9 -the singularity b [the near end of the singularity] "waking up"
10-starting over/ [Quantum Unity, Quantum Dispersal]

the "game" of "life"

Sorta like Katamari Damacy and Gurren Lagann rolled into one. (Get it? Rolled? fnar fnar fnar)
Dash of The Matrix.

What do you do once you've rolled everything up? Start over.
Separate it. Willfully disseminate it, then begin anew.


If I'm to be expected to control my anger, why aren't you expected to control your sadness?

I am high off of my anger right now.
I feel incredible.
I am thinking so clearly.

My anger focuses me.

Anger is nothing but misguided passion.

The Black Swordsman